Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Joods]

Because you should delete the insensitive remark.

Now do you get it?

[brewer]

Because you should delete the insensitive remark.

Now do you get it?

Nope.

[Joods]

You're hopeless.

[SteelCurtain]

Wish people would stop fucking messaging me to tell me they are pregnant, when they know what happened to me and what I'm dealing with now. I mean, seriously, are people complete idiots? They're just like "Heyyy, just wanted to let you know so you don't find out through facebook or something that I am pregnant..." ...as if ruining my day and on top of that putting me on the spot to have to congratulate them and lie by saying I'm happy for them when in fact I am not, is a better option. I'd MUCH rather find out some other way so that I can just not say anything and know to avoid you. Maybe I'm a shitty person or something, but if you are pregnant, I am NOT happy for you. A better woman would be, but I'm just not. Hearing the news only pours more salt on a wound that will never heal and makes it feel like I just got punched in the heart. It certainly does not make me feel "happy for you," and the last thing I wanna do is congratulate your ass. If you're pregnant, just leave me the eff alone. I don't want to hear about it and I don't want to hear about your damn children.

God that has to suck. I am so sorry you have to go through that CL. I cannot even begin to imagine what it's like.

[LadyForCamus]

Wish people would stop fucking messaging me to tell me they are pregnant, when they know what happened to me and what I'm dealing with now. I mean, seriously, are people complete idiots? They're just like "Heyyy, just wanted to let you know so you don't find out through facebook or something that I am pregnant..." ...as if ruining my day and on top of that putting me on the spot to have to congratulate them and lie by saying I'm happy for them when in fact I am not, is a better option. I'd MUCH rather find out some other way so that I can just not say anything and know to avoid you. Maybe I'm a shitty person or something, but if you are pregnant, I am NOT happy for you. A better woman would be, but I'm just not. Hearing the news only pours more salt on a wound that will never heal and makes it feel like I just got punched in the heart. It certainly does not make me feel "happy for you," and the last thing I wanna do is congratulate your ass. If you're pregnant, just leave me the eff alone. I don't want to hear about it and I don't want to hear about your damn children.

How incredibly insensitive.  I can’t believe people do this. The obvious correct thing to do in that situation is literally don’t do or say anything at all.  Why would anyone actively deliver that kind of news to you?  People blow my mind. I sorry you have to deal with that. 🙁  Do you tell them it hurts you?

---

Wish people would stop fucking messaging me to tell me they are pregnant, when they know what happened to me and what I'm dealing with now. I mean, seriously, are people complete idiots? They're just like "Heyyy, just wanted to let you know so you don't find out through facebook or something that I am pregnant..." ...as if ruining my day and on top of that putting me on the spot to have to congratulate them and lie by saying I'm happy for them when in fact I am not, is a better option. I'd MUCH rather find out some other way so that I can just not say anything and know to avoid you. Maybe I'm a shitty person or something, but if you are pregnant, I am NOT happy for you. A better woman would be, but I'm just not. Hearing the news only pours more salt on a wound that will never heal and makes it feel like I just got punched in the heart. It certainly does not make me feel "happy for you," and the last thing I wanna do is congratulate your ass. If you're pregnant, just leave me the eff alone. I don't want to hear about it and I don't want to hear about your damn children.

Um............. I'm pregnant.

Not cool.

[Catholic_Lady]

LFC, they tell me as though they either don't think it effects me at all, or as though telling me is somehow easier on me than allowing me to find out on Facebook or through word of mouth. I don't know why they would think that. Because then I have to be like "Oh wow, congratulations, I'm happy for you." ...if I found out on Facebook or something, I can just hide their post from my timeline and not have to say anything, which is obviously easier. And yeah, this whole thing has made me realize how un intuitive and just stupid most people are. People will talk to me about their kids/babies like nothing ever happened to me. And like I'm not dealing with subsequent infertility and the probability that I will never have another child apart from the one who died.

No, I don't tell people it hurts me.

---

Maybe they expect me to be the type of better person who would actually be happy for them. Maybe it's my issue that I'm not, I don't know.

[LadyForCamus]

LFC, they tell me as though they either don't think it effects me at all, or as though telling me is somehow easier on me than allowing me to find out on Facebook or through word of mouth. I don't know why they would think that. Because then I have to be like "Oh wow, congratulations, I'm happy for you." ...if I found out on Facebook or something, I can just hide their post from my timeline and not have to say anything, which is obviously easier. And yeah, this whole thing has made me realize how un intuitive and just stupid most people are. People will talk to me about their kids/babies like nothing ever happened to me. And like I'm not dealing with subsequent infertility and the probability that I will never have another child apart from the one who died.

No, I don't tell people it hurts me.

---

Maybe they expect me to be the type of better person who would actually be happy for them. Maybe it's my issue that I'm not, I don't know.

Oh, CL. You are not less good as a person for having those feelings.  My god, you lost your baby.  Not feeling joy for these people is completely normal and human.  I can’t even imagine how anyone could feel happiness like that for other people ever again.  Don’t blame yourself for your terrible pain.  You’ve been through enough.  ❤️

[J a c k]

I agree with camoo on this. Your feelings are human. I’m so sorry, CL.

[Fireball]

LFC, they tell me as though they either don't think it effects me at all, or as though telling me is somehow easier on me than allowing me to find out on Facebook or through word of mouth. I don't know why they would think that. Because then I have to be like "Oh wow, congratulations, I'm happy for you." ...if I found out on Facebook or something, I can just hide their post from my timeline and not have to say anything, which is obviously easier. And yeah, this whole thing has made me realize how un intuitive and just stupid most people are. People will talk to me about their kids/babies like nothing ever happened to me. And like I'm not dealing with subsequent infertility and the probability that I will never have another child apart from the one who died.

No, I don't tell people it hurts me.

---

Maybe they expect me to be the type of better person who would actually be happy for them. Maybe it's my issue that I'm not, I don't know.

My heart bleeds for you.  Losing a baby is a tough thing, as I well know. I hope for the best of what life has to offer you.

[KevinM1]

LFC, they tell me as though they either don't think it effects me at all, or as though telling me is somehow easier on me than allowing me to find out on Facebook or through word of mouth. I don't know why they would think that. Because then I have to be like "Oh wow, congratulations, I'm happy for you." ...if I found out on Facebook or something, I can just hide their post from my timeline and not have to say anything, which is obviously easier. And yeah, this whole thing has made me realize how un intuitive and just stupid most people are. People will talk to me about their kids/babies like nothing ever happened to me. And like I'm not dealing with subsequent infertility and the probability that I will never have another child apart from the one who died.

No, I don't tell people it hurts me.

---

Maybe they expect me to be the type of better person who would actually be happy for them. Maybe it's my issue that I'm not, I don't know.

You're not a bad person for feeling sad and resentful that the people around you are living a life you may never have, especially if - intentionally or not - they flaunt it around you.  While I've never experienced the crushing despair of losing a child, I know that other pain all too well.  I wish I could tell you that it eventually fades away, but it doesn't.  I've learned to compartmentalize and distract myself, but there are definitely times when life will remind me of the things I can never have or do.  And the feeling is just as raw now as it's always been.

I really do wish I had something more positive to tell you, but all I can really say is that I understand at least a part of what you're feeling.  And that I'm definitely willing to lend an ear if you want to talk.