A quick word on "Overwhelmingly Negative Influences"

[Thumpalumpacus]

... or her plied her with copious amounts of wine?

That shit doesn't work for the long haul, though.

Tell me about it!

[Athene]

I swear by duct tape.

A fried pork chop lure, laced with antidepressants and a mild sedative works well with the menfolk...so I've heard.

[Edwardo Piet]

I love you guys.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I swear by duct tape.

A fried pork chop lure, laced with antidepressants and a mild sedative works well with the menfolk...so I've heard.

Did someone say pork chops?!

[Jackalope]

[Catholic_Lady]

Wait, what??

Did you tell us this in that thread and I missed it or is this the first time you say this on the forum?

I mentioned it several times in the rape thread.

My wife did know about the child hood stuff but did not know I was being flambéed over it.

The point I was trying to make is if I can take all of that, and not run to the mods because of what is being said to me or against me without support you people should be able to manage supporting each other.

I definitely missed it. I am very sorry you went through that.

[Crossless2.0]

I swear by duct tape.

A fried pork chop lure, laced with antidepressants and a mild sedative works well with the menfolk...so I've heard.

Yep, that's how I was captured and wed. In retrospect, it was suspicious how that pork chop just happened to be sitting there, attached to the string that was connected to the large net suspended from the tree. If I ever escape from this zoo, I'll know better next time.

For the free range men out there, stay away from incongruous pork chops! But if you are captured, don't believe the reports you hear about how they cut off your balls after the ceremony. It's not literally true. But it is the most painful of metaphorical truths. Yes, the pain lessens with time, given enough food, beer, and television. But you'll find you will still be haunted in your dreams and during mini-skirt weather.

Oh, and one other very, very, very important piece of advice -- something you must never forget if you are to survive this ordeal. Under no circumstances . . .

Shit! The wife is coming! Act natural. 

<starts manically whistling a jaunty tune as he resumes washing the dishes>

[Fireball]

A fried pork chop lure, laced with antidepressants and a mild sedative works well with the menfolk...so I've heard.

Yep, that's how I was captured and wed. In retrospect, it was suspicious how that pork chop just happened to be sitting there, attached to the string that was connected to the large net suspended from the tree. If I ever escape from this zoo, I'll know better next time.

For the free range men out there, stay away from incongruous pork chops! But if you are captured, don't believe the reports you hear about how they cut off your balls after the ceremony. It's not literally true. But it is the most painful of metaphorical truths. Yes, the pain lessens with time, given enough food, beer, and television. But you'll find you will still be haunted in your dreams and during mini-skirt weather.

Oh, and one other very, very, very important piece of advice -- something you must never forget if you are to survive this ordeal. Under no circumstances . . .

Shit! The wife is coming! Act natural. 

<starts manically whistling a jaunty tune as he resumes washing the dishes>

Is she gone yet? Can you finish telling us the rest?

[MrsTRich]

... or her plied her with copious amounts of wine?

That shit doesn't work for the long haul, though.

How did you know about the wine???

[Losty]

Be it marraige or children or both, I'm pretty sure wine is an obvious assumption.