How to be a Dictator 101
Good afternoon, class. So, you all want to be dictators one day? Have everyone always suck up to you? Have a media too afraid to ever criticize you? Ride in a golden carriage? Do whatever you want with no court to tell you "no"?
Sounds good, doesn't it? But there is one rule that you can never break. In the first day of class, you're going to learn the one thing you can never, ever, ever do.
(turns to write on the chalkboard, recites while writing)
The Primary Rule of Every Dictatorship:
Do NOT make enemies with either your military or your law enforcement.
(turns back to the class)
Donald?
DONALD!
Are you paying attention?
(inaudible from class)
Right. Of course you are.
Anyway, I can't stress this enough. Your regime can potentially survive almost anything else. You can anger the masses. You can have adversaries among the wealthy. You can antagonize the rest of the world. Do all of these things and your regime might still survive. But the one thing you cannot EVER do is make enemies with those who guard your castle. You want to always make sure that the muscle of your regime is working for you and not against you.
If you learn nothing else from this class, future autocrats, remember this primary rule. No matter what exaggerated ideas you have of your own grandeur, your regime will not last long if your henchmen turn against you.
That's all for today, children.
Good afternoon, class. So, you all want to be dictators one day? Have everyone always suck up to you? Have a media too afraid to ever criticize you? Ride in a golden carriage? Do whatever you want with no court to tell you "no"?
Sounds good, doesn't it? But there is one rule that you can never break. In the first day of class, you're going to learn the one thing you can never, ever, ever do.
(turns to write on the chalkboard, recites while writing)
The Primary Rule of Every Dictatorship:
Do NOT make enemies with either your military or your law enforcement.
(turns back to the class)
Donald?
DONALD!
Are you paying attention?
(inaudible from class)
Right. Of course you are.
Anyway, I can't stress this enough. Your regime can potentially survive almost anything else. You can anger the masses. You can have adversaries among the wealthy. You can antagonize the rest of the world. Do all of these things and your regime might still survive. But the one thing you cannot EVER do is make enemies with those who guard your castle. You want to always make sure that the muscle of your regime is working for you and not against you.
If you learn nothing else from this class, future autocrats, remember this primary rule. No matter what exaggerated ideas you have of your own grandeur, your regime will not last long if your henchmen turn against you.
That's all for today, children.
"You don't need facts when you got Jesus." -Pastor Deacon Fred, Landover Baptist Church
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
™: True Christian is a Trademark of the Landover Baptist Church. I have no affiliation with this fine group of True Christians ™ because I can't afford their tithing requirements but would like to be. Maybe someday the Lord will bless me with enough riches that I am able to.
And for the lovers of Poe, here's your winking smiley:
