Mindfulness - help?

[Longhorn]

I think some members here have dabbled in it, at least I recall it being discussed in the past, but I haven't found any threads dedicated to it.

I found out that practicing mindful meditation/mindfulness could be highly beneficial in dealing with the stuff I'm going through right now. I have researched it a little bit, but would like to hear more about it from personal experience if anyone's willing to share. So any tips, tricks, resources, guides, advice, personal stories etc welcome and encouraged! I would freatly appreciate any and all help as this is very important to me

[Edwardo Piet]

I'm not particularly a fan but...

Keeping thoughts from wandering into the past or future I'm pretty good at.

I think ultimately all thoughts about the past and present are actually about the future. We think about what we're doing in order to better plan our next step in the near future... because after all there is no other reason to tell ourselves what's happening when we can already see what's happening.

And thoughts about the past, and regret, and pride, and all sorts... it's all ways to encourage and discourage behaviors for next time.

I'm not a fan of Dan Dennett but I do think brains are for 'producing future'.

The problem I have with mindfulness is the idea that ultimately all experience is neutral and we paint our experience positive or negative.... but if we're mindful we can transcend that.

I think that's bull. I think our happiness and unhappiness is completely tied to our qualia.

[Neo-Scholastic]

I would start by learning what is called the Relaxation Response. Your primary attention is always on your breathing. Otherwise, the key principle is to remember that you are not your thoughts. That's not who you are at the most fundamental level. Keep nesting your sense of self. You are not the voice in your head. Learn to ignore it. Then you are not the observer noticing the voice in your head. Learn to ignore that at well. Eventually, you can get pretty deep into the pure intentionality of barely personal consciousness. Good luck.

[Edwardo Piet]

We're not our thoughts.... but we are our qualia

[brewer]

Not that big on meditation. I can do it but don't see much benefit.

Mindfulness, I first started with employing socratic questioning.

[scoobysnack]

I think some members here have dabbled in it, at least I recall it being discussed in the past, but I haven't found any threads dedicated to it.

I found out that practicing mindful meditation/mindfulness could be highly beneficial in dealing with the stuff I'm going through right now. I have researched it a little bit, but would like to hear more about it from personal experience if anyone's willing to share. So any tips, tricks, resources, guides, advice, personal stories etc welcome and encouraged! I would freatly appreciate any and all help as this is very important to me

I had to look this up...

https://www.mindful.org/meditation/mindf...g-started/

Guess what I would suggest is focusing on your circle of control rather than your circle of concern. Meaning focus on what you can control in your life in order to achieve what you want rather than focus on what you can't control, and it will relieve your stress. A great book to read would be The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Steven Covey.

The info below is a snyopsis from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_7_Habi...ive_People

The 7 Habits[edit]
The book first introduces the concept of paradigm shift and helps the reader understand that different perspectives exist, i.e. that two people can see the same thing and yet differ with each other. On this premise, it introduces the seven habits in a proper order.

Each chapter is dedicated to one of the habits, which are represented by the following imperatives:

Independence[edit]
The First Three Habits surround moving from dependence to independence (i.e., self-mastery):

1 - Be Proactive
Talks about the concept of Circle of Influence and Circle of Concern. Work from the center of your influence and constantly work to expand it. Don't sit and wait in a reactive mode, waiting for problems to happen (Circle of Concern) before taking action.
2 - Begin with the End in Mind
Envision what you want in the future so you can work and plan towards it. Understand how people make decisions in their life. To be effective you need to act based on principles and constantly review your mission statement. Are you - right now - who you want to be? What do I have to say about myself? How do you want to be remembered? Change your life to act and be proactive according to the Habit 1. You are the programmer! Grow and stay humble.
3 - Put First Things First
Talks about difference between Leadership and Management. Leadership in the outside world begins with personal vision and personal leadership. Talks about what is important and what is urgent. Priority should be given in the following order:
1) Important and Urgent
2) Important and not-urgent
3) Not Important and Urgent
4) Not important and Not urgent
Habit 2 says: you are the programmer. Habit 3: Write the program. Become a leader! Keep personal integrity: what you say vs what you do.

Interdependence[edit]
The next three habits talk about Interdependence (e.g., working with others):

4 - Think Win-Win
Genuine feelings for mutually beneficial solutions or agreements in your relationships. Value and respect people by understanding a "win" for all is ultimately a better long-term resolution than if only one person in the situation had gotten his way. Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.
5 - Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood
Use empathic listening to genuinely understand a person, which compels them to reciprocate the listening and take an open mind to being influenced by you. This creates an atmosphere of caring, and positive problem solving.
The Habit 5 is greatly embraced in the Greek philosophy represented by 3 words:
1) Ethos - your personal credibility. It's the trust that you inspire, your Emotional Bank Account.
2) Pathos is the empathic side -- it's the alignment with the emotional trust of another person communication.
3) Logos is the logic -- the reasoning part of the presentation.
The order is important: ethos, pathos, logos -- your character, and your relationships, and then the logic of your presentation.
6 - Synergize
Combine the strengths of people through positive teamwork, so as to achieve goals that no one could have done alone.
Continuous Improvements[edit]
The final habit is that of continuous improvement in both the personal and interpersonal spheres of influence.

7 - Sharpen the Saw
Balance and renew your resources, energy, and health to create a sustainable, long-term, effective lifestyle. It primarily emphasizes exercise for physical renewal, good prayer (meditation, yoga, etc.) and good reading for mental renewal. It also mentions service to society for spiritual renewal.
Covey explains the "Upward Spiral" model in the sharpening the saw section. Through our conscience, along with meaningful and consistent progress, the spiral will result in growth, change, and constant improvement. In essence, one is always attempting to integrate and master the principles outlined in The 7 Habits at progressively higher levels at each iteration. Subsequent development on any habit will render a different experience and you will learn the principles with a deeper understanding. The Upward Spiral model consists of three parts: learn, commit, do. According to Covey, one must be increasingly educating the conscience in order to grow and develop on the upward spiral. The idea of renewal by education will propel one along the path of personal freedom, security, wisdom, and power.[3]

The 8th Habit[edit]
8 - Find your voice and inspire others to find theirs.

[Angrboda]

I've dabbled with meditation and there is evidence that, long term, it can have some positive benefits. However it's also a hard road strewn with land mines of people saying it does this or that, or that the right way is such and thus. It becomes very easy to fall into a trap of practicing what you believe meditation to be, when, it might not be that. I could give my own advice, but that would be falling into the same trap. Ultimately, because the field of mindfulness / meditation is filled with so much bullshit, you're basically, ultimately, on your own for determining what it is and what it means to you. The only advice I'd give is not to vary your practice, as that can be a distraction, like servicing an itch you feel while engaged in mindfulness. Pick something and stick with it. I would also recommend picking something simple and relatively easy to do. Counting breaths is a good one. Otherwise you might get lost in worrying whether you're doing it right or not. The point is to do it, and persevere even when you get discouraged. Mindfulness and meditation are habits that take practice to be useful.

[Mystical]

I know more about meditation and pain mitigation. The only thing i know as doctor taught mindfulness is to look at details of things in your immediate location and describe them, say to yourself a descriptor of these objects. Like "I see my lamp, my lamp is green." And just keep doing that. Avoid any other thoughts.
While your brain is doing that, it's not focused on anything else if youre doing it right.
It helps if you're in the throes of anxiety.

[Aroura]

I know more about meditation and pain mitigation. The only thing i know as doctor taught mindfulness is to look at details of things in your immediate location and describe them, say to yourself a descriptor of these objects. Like "I see my lamp, my lamp is green." And just keep doing that. Avoid any other thoughts.
While your brain is doing that, it's not focused on anything else if youre doing it right.
It helps if you're in the throes of anxiety.

This is essentially how I practice mindfullness. If I'm feeling distressed, I remove my mind from the distress through object meditation and breathing. I find it useful to touch an object, so I use my DnD dice. I describe how they look and feel to myself.
If I'm out of the house, anything can work. A pen, a slip of paper, your steering wheel (please be parked if you use that one!).

As Jör says, there is a lot of BS out there, and it's ultimately a personal thing. Try different things until you find the technique that seems to click for you, then go for it.

I've been on anxiety meds for nearly 20 years, and mindfulness combined with yoga and radical acceptance is the first non medication treatment that's ever worked for me. I'm down to fragments of my pills, and my taper will be complete and I'll be med free within a month!

It does take practice, though. Lot's of it. But it really does help a lot of people in today's hectic world, no magic or woo required.

Good luck to the OP.

---

Ps, for non woo rescorces, try this:
http://www.ebay.com/itm/The-Dialectical-...2477161103

There are other good books out there on DBT and mindfulness that are written and used by down to earth professional counselors. Don't feel like you have to have a diagnosed "illness" to use one of these. No shame in usinch psych approved, wooless, techniques that have been proven to help people going through even mild anxiety, anger, etc.

Some books specify the mood to focus on, but I liked this one for just teaching the basic skills. I've used it for about 8 months now, completed it and still reference it now and then. I have begun thinking these are skills that every person could benefit from.

If you can read around some woo, I also recommend any Tao book by Derrik Lin. He does occasionally drift into spiritual talk, but it is rare and it is easy to skip those bits. Most is quite practical advice and teachings on mindfulness, meditation, with charming yet insightful stories tossed in for illumination. The Tao of Daily life is my favorite, and I've found most of it to be quite interesting and useful.

Hope you find some of this useful.

[energizer bunny]

A lot of what is described as meditation or mindfulness appears to be more about avoidance rather than awareness.