Enlightenment with the God

[LastPoet]

[Cyberman]

I just wrote to entertain you all. 

Epic fail. 

Boru

Yeah, he really missed the mark on that one.

[Mystic]

I am reading the Bible and find Genesis and Exodus to be eloquent over all, with little faults or perhaps none. I will be discussing where the Bible goes south later and the Bible essential contradicts itself at the heart of the message.

But those two books over all are amazing.  I understand your sentiment but I don't think you are doing the Bible justice.

[downbeatplumb]

I am reading the Bible and find Genesis and Exodus to be eloquent over all, with little faults or perhaps none. I will be discussing where the Bible goes south later and the Bible essential contradicts itself at the heart of the message.

But those two books over all are amazing.  I understand your sentiment but I don't think you are doing the Bible justice.

What did you think of gods all night homoerotic wresting encounter with Jacob? Strange that god had to cheat to win a wrestling match is it not.


"That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.
28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

I've often been left alone and never has a bout of random wrestling broken out WTF is this all about.

[Edwardo Piet]

Do you also prefer being intelligible?  Give it a lash - do you a world of good. 

Boru

Try again. Just imagine him having a straight jacket on and eating his own poop and then rubbing it on the walls and it's all perfectly intelligible.

[Mystic]

I am reading the Bible and find Genesis and Exodus to be eloquent over all, with little faults or perhaps none. I will be discussing where the Bible goes south later and the Bible essential contradicts itself at the heart of the message.

But those two books over all are amazing.  I understand your sentiment but I don't think you are doing the Bible justice.

What did you think of gods all night homoerotic wresting encounter with Jacob? Strange that god had to cheat to win a wrestling match is it not.


"That night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two female servants and his eleven sons and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. 24 So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. 25 When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. 26 Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”
But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
27 The man asked him, “What is your name?”
“Jacob,” he answered.
28 Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel,[a] because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

I've often been left alone and never has a bout of random wrestling broken out WTF is this all about.

I will comment on it when I get to it.  It's actually beautiful.

[Catholic_Lady]

God: Hello Swidhe.
Swidhe: Hello God.
G: How are you?
S: Not bad. How are you?
G: I'm perfect.
G: Mercy or sanctity?
S: Mercy.
G: Heaven or friend?
S: Friend.
G: Kindness or divinity?
S: Kindness.
G: I SHALL SPELL DEATH TO YOU!
S: Sure.

God casts death upon Swidhe, who's forever burnt with anguish in hell.

Again God comes.

G: Swidhe, repent.
S: No.
G: Then suffer.
S: Yes.

In hell with demons, Satan comes.

Satan: Hello Swidhe.
Sw: Hello Satan.
Sa: How are you?
Sw: Not bad.
Sa: Evil or good?
Sw: Good.
Sa: Hell or heaven?
Sw: Heaven.
Sa: Earth or heaven?
Sw: Earth.
Sa: Hell or Earth?
Sw: Earth.
Sa: I shall turn you into demon.

Before Satan does, Swidhe halts him, 'Wait. Let's cooperate for the good.'

Silence falls.

'Yeah? How so?'

Swidhe explains, 'We all be good. Let's toil with hearts and hands, and change this hell into Earth. Let's make all demons good humans.'

Satan frowns but likes the idea.

The end.

Have you ever pooped in an airplane before?

[Edwardo Piet]

God: Hello Swidhe.
Swidhe: Hello God.
G: How are you?
S: Not bad. How are you?
G: I'm perfect.
G: Mercy or sanctity?
S: Mercy.
G: Heaven or friend?
S: Friend.
G: Kindness or divinity?
S: Kindness.
G: I SHALL SPELL DEATH TO YOU!
S: Sure.

God casts death upon Swidhe, who's forever burnt with anguish in hell.

Again God comes.

G: Swidhe, repent.
S: No.
G: Then suffer.
S: Yes.

In hell with demons, Satan comes.

Satan: Hello Swidhe.
Sw: Hello Satan.
Sa: How are you?
Sw: Not bad.
Sa: Evil or good?
Sw: Good.
Sa: Hell or heaven?
Sw: Heaven.
Sa: Earth or heaven?
Sw: Earth.
Sa: Hell or Earth?
Sw: Earth.
Sa: I shall turn you into demon.

Before Satan does, Swidhe halts him, 'Wait. Let's cooperate for the good.'

Silence falls.

'Yeah? How so?'

Swidhe explains, 'We all be good. Let's toil with hearts and hands, and change this hell into Earth. Let's make all demons good humans.'

Satan frowns but likes the idea.

The end.

Have you ever pooped in an airplane before?

. . .

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. . .

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I've pooped in a train several times.

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[ignoramus]

C'mon man... I'm suspecting you have been ostracised due to being gay.
Were you religious? Has the bible let you down? We can help you... You're not alone.
But you need to open up.

Not the explicit ass fucking stuff, from a psychological perspective I mean...
Catch... Don't do nothing stupid...

[Jackalope]

This thread ate my brain.