Posts: 44026
Threads: 529
Joined: July 24, 2013
Reputation:
109
God As Groundhog Cause
May 25, 2018 at 5:09 pm
There are four kinds of groundhog: groundhog, woodchuck, marmot and Bill Murray. One way to track them is to observe that:
-A groundhog is notorious in February;
-A woodchuck has a tongue-twister to its credit;
-A marmot sounds a little like a spread.
-A Bill Murray is mad cool.
We may discard (for our consideration here) all but the Bill Murray. This particular type of groundhog has been recorded in the company of Andie MacDowell, Sigourney Weaver, Scarlett Johansson, Lucy Liu, Geena Davis and Uma Thurman.
The only possible efficient or contingent cause for this bizarre and puzzling state of affairs is a groundhog cause which I will call God.
Boru
‘But it does me no injury for my neighbour to say there are twenty gods or no gods. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg.’ - Thomas Jefferson
Posts: 43162
Threads: 720
Joined: September 21, 2008
Reputation:
133
RE: God As Groundhog Cause
May 25, 2018 at 5:25 pm
Nah. If Bill Murray was The Ultimate GroundGod then the universe would come to an end and then it would start over and repeat itself all over again... and over and over and over again (until a pretty lady ended up in Murray's cosmic bed)... but scientists have recently discovered that the universe will probably be expanding indefinitely at an accelerating rate. So no GroundGod Hog.
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: God As Groundhog Cause
May 25, 2018 at 7:38 pm
Are Muslims allowed to eat ground hog?
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 5664
Threads: 219
Joined: June 20, 2016
Reputation:
61
RE: God As Groundhog Cause
May 25, 2018 at 8:53 pm
(May 25, 2018 at 5:09 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: There are four kinds of groundhog: groundhog, woodchuck, marmot and Bill Murray. One way to track them is to observe that:
-A groundhog is notorious in February;
-A woodchuck has a tongue-twister to its credit;
-A marmot sounds a little like a spread.
-A Bill Murray is mad cool.
We may discard (for our consideration here) all but the Bill Murray. This particular type of groundhog has been recorded in the company of Andie MacDowell, Sigourney Weaver, Scarlett Johansson, Lucy Liu, Geena Davis and Uma Thurman.
The only possible efficient or contingent cause for this bizarre and puzzling state of affairs is a groundhog cause which I will call God.
Boru As a native Yankee living in the south I would say "Groundhog" is in the Southern idiom. "Woodchuck" in the Northern idiom. "Whistle Pig" restricted largely to Vermont. According to my friend Rick, Southeners will fall for barbequed ground hog as pulled pork barbeque. He was an enterprising youth!
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: God As Groundhog Cause
May 25, 2018 at 8:55 pm
(This post was last modified: May 25, 2018 at 8:55 pm by ignoramus.)
shoosh! Now you're putting ideas into the heads of Chinese restaurant owners!
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 5664
Threads: 219
Joined: June 20, 2016
Reputation:
61
RE: God As Groundhog Cause
May 25, 2018 at 9:10 pm
(May 25, 2018 at 8:55 pm)ignoramus Wrote: shoosh! Now you're putting ideas into the heads of Chinese restaurant owners! Meat is meat! Depends on whether it tastes good!
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!
Posts: 20476
Threads: 447
Joined: June 16, 2014
Reputation:
111
RE: God As Groundhog Cause
May 25, 2018 at 9:34 pm
(This post was last modified: May 25, 2018 at 9:35 pm by ignoramus.)
There's a whole industry right there!
Here's a hint ...Our cemeteries are getting full!
Maybe Soylent Green was right after all?
I just had a thought. In millions of years all our buried dead will turn into fossil fuels! Round 2!
I think I'll hold onto my gas guzzler 
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
Posts: 9341
Threads: 19
Joined: September 8, 2015
Reputation:
79
RE: God As Groundhog Cause
May 25, 2018 at 11:01 pm
(This post was last modified: May 25, 2018 at 11:03 pm by Fireball.)
(May 25, 2018 at 9:34 pm)ignoramus Wrote: There's a whole industry right there!
Here's a hint ...Our cemeteries are getting full!
Maybe Soylent Green was right after all?
I just had a thought. In millions of years all our buried dead will turn into fossil fuels! Round 2!
I think I'll hold onto my gas guzzler
What kind of mileage does your Mustang get? I'm not judging, since my truck only gets 7 MPG when towing the travel trailer.  If you haven't shown pics of it, I'd like to see them. :yup:
(May 25, 2018 at 8:53 pm)chimp3 Wrote: (May 25, 2018 at 5:09 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: There are four kinds of groundhog: groundhog, woodchuck, marmot and Bill Murray. One way to track them is to observe that:
-A groundhog is notorious in February;
-A woodchuck has a tongue-twister to its credit;
-A marmot sounds a little like a spread.
-A Bill Murray is mad cool.
We may discard (for our consideration here) all but the Bill Murray. This particular type of groundhog has been recorded in the company of Andie MacDowell, Sigourney Weaver, Scarlett Johansson, Lucy Liu, Geena Davis and Uma Thurman.
The only possible efficient or contingent cause for this bizarre and puzzling state of affairs is a groundhog cause which I will call God.
Boru As a native Yankee living in the south I would say "Groundhog" is in the Southern idiom. "Woodchuck" in the Northern idiom. "Whistle Pig" restricted largely to Vermont. According to my friend Rick, Southeners will fall for barbequed ground hog as pulled pork barbeque. He was an enterprising youth!
Ground hog is pretty damned small, though. Maybe them boys don't really care, as long as that meat texture is there? I'd probably eat it.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Posts: 43162
Threads: 720
Joined: September 21, 2008
Reputation:
133
RE: God As Groundhog Cause
May 26, 2018 at 10:18 am
(This post was last modified: May 26, 2018 at 10:18 am by Edwardo Piet.)
(May 25, 2018 at 7:38 pm)ignoramus Wrote: Are Muslims allowed to eat ground hog?
Yes because groundhog is a false hog. They can eat turkey bacon as well.
|
