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memory
#11
RE: memory
(May 13, 2019 at 12:40 am)EgoDeath Wrote: Years of therapy will teach you that the only real way to deal with past trauma is to not focus on it. However it's one things to '"know" this logically and another thing entirely to "feel" it as a truth in your life.

Up until very recently I would have agreed with you. This is how I have moved on with my life and it was the only way I survived. But now the memories are resurfacing again I realise that I have just been suppressing my emotions rather than dealing with the underlying trauma and it has been affecting me in ways I did not appreciate. I've started going to counselling for the first time in my life and it's like I have just everything on hold for 20 years. Once I process everything, then I can stop focusing on it again.
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#12
RE: memory
Yes MAthilda, I agree 100%, I'm not aware of any decent psychotherapy that promotes burying traumas for a long term solution. It stunts your emotional maturing. I will say that there is lots to be said for focusing on positive things and dealing with problems in manageable chunks. Once dealt with, it would possibly be good to not focus on it, which usually happens naturally when it's truly been resolved/processed. You can always find reasons for being resentful, feeling like a victim, even with the "perfect life". What things are we doing on a daily basis to screw up our own lives? If you can honestly ask yourself that question and honestly want the answer, then you should be able to take steps to better your life and in turn those around you.
"There ought to be a term that would designate those who actually follow the teachings of Jesus, since the word 'Christian' has been largely divorced from those teachings, and so polluted by fundamentalists that it has come to connote their polar opposite: intolerance, vindictive hatred, and bigotry." -- Philip Stater, Huffington Post

always working on cleaning my windows- me regarding Johari
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#13
RE: memory
(May 9, 2019 at 6:24 am)AtlasS33 Wrote: The worst two edged weapon in your body is your own memory, 

-forgetfulness isn't a bug, it's a feature. Imagine an eternity for your memory to fuck with you.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#14
RE: memory
(May 13, 2019 at 10:44 am)Gae Bolga Wrote:
(May 9, 2019 at 6:24 am)AtlasS33 Wrote: The worst two edged weapon in your body is your own memory, 

-forgetfulness isn't a bug, it's a feature.  Imagine an eternity for your memory to fuck with you.

Okay, so where the fuck are my glasses? Huh
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#15
RE: memory
(May 13, 2019 at 2:11 pm)Gawdzilla Sama Wrote:
(May 13, 2019 at 10:44 am)Gae Bolga Wrote: -forgetfulness isn't a bug, it's a feature.  Imagine an eternity for your memory to fuck with you.

Okay, so where the fuck are my glasses? Huh

In the dog.
Dying to live, living to die.
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#16
RE: memory
Wherever you left the dog, ofc, lol. Wait, what were we talking about?
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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#17
RE: memory
As someone who suffers from ptsd, I can understand how memories can be crippling.
I think there are two things that help me.
The first is to allow myself to face the memories. Write them down in full detail. Say them aloud to someone you trust. Completely submerge yourself in those memories. The most important part of this process (imo) is to give yourself permission to feel however you feel about them. Cry. Scream. However you feel, just let all of those emotions pour out of you. This is an exhausting process but it also provides you with a great deal of relief.
The second thing is to do everything in your power to assure that those memories do not consume you. Doing the first thing helps a lot with this. What I do next is try to keep myself so busy that I don’t have any time to dwell on the past. For me, free time is a curse. Try to make new memories. Great ones. Do things that make you happy. A lot of them. Just keep going. Don’t stop for a second to doubt yourself. Fill every single day as packed as you can with things that you love to do.

Sometimes...the second part becomes overwhelming. You get exhausted. You feel like you need a break. The bad memories start creeping in even over all the noise you’re making in the present. That’s when I start back with the first step again.

I don’t know if this is good advice, but it’s what works for me.
(August 21, 2017 at 11:31 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: "I'm not a troll"
Religious Views: He gay

0/10

Hammy Wrote:and we also have a sheep on our bed underneath as well
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#18
RE: memory
(May 13, 2019 at 2:47 am)Mathilda Wrote:
(May 13, 2019 at 12:40 am)EgoDeath Wrote: Years of therapy will teach you that the only real way to deal with past trauma is to not focus on it. However it's one things to '"know" this logically and another thing entirely to "feel" it as a truth in your life.

Up until very recently I would have agreed with you. This is how I have moved on with my life and it was the only way I survived. But now the memories are resurfacing again I realise that I have just been suppressing my emotions rather than dealing with the underlying trauma and it has been affecting me in ways I did not appreciate. I've started going to counselling for the first time in my life and it's like I have just everything on hold for 20 years. Once I process everything, then I can stop focusing on it again.

That was my original point, but yes, good for you. Therapy, for me, has ultimately been about getting everything out, gaining some new perspectives on a couple things that have bothered me, and then learning to not focus on the negatives. That's all we can really do. Life is all about where we focus our energy.
If you're frightened of dying, and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. But if you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels, freeing you from the Earth.
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