Does Nun Control Work?

[The Valkyrie]

Because people don’t get my sense of humour.

We used to sit around and ... improve pop songs. Sailors can be quite imaginative.

My father theorises that I would drive sailors out of a bar with the amount of swearing I do.

[The Valkyrie]

In a mountainous part of Italy, there’s a convent and a monastery on neighbouring mountain tops.

Of course, the monks occasionally try to get into the convent and the nuns.

Every few days, the abbot of the monastery gets a call from the abbess of the convent telling him one of the monks has tried and inevitably failed.

And the conversation always begins, “Brother, this is the Virgin Mary at the convent. One of your monks has tried to make it here again last night.”

One day, the abbot is doing the rounds when he notices the cell of one of his more ingenious monks is empty.

He sighs, goes back to his office and waits for the phone to ring.

When it does, he answers in the usual way and hears from the other end, “Brother, this is Mary at the convent. One of your monks made it over here last night...”