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cute
#11
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 7:05 pm)Brian37 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 6:52 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: A baby Harp seal galumphs into a bar.  The barman says, 'What'll you have?' and the seal says, 'Anything but a Canadian club.'

Boru

Seal walks into a bar, Bartender asks, "Would you like to try our special?"

Seal aks, "What is that?"

Bartender, "Club Sandwich."

Seal responds, "You are a fucking asshole."

Last line ruined that joke.

Know when to stop.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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#12
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 7:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 7:05 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Seal walks into a bar, Bartender asks, "Would you like to try our special?"

Seal aks, "What is that?"

Bartender, "Club Sandwich."

Seal responds, "You are a fucking asshole."

Last line ruined that joke.

Know when to stop.

Boru

How did I ruin that joke? I if I were a seal I wouldn't want someone offering me a club sandwich.

You like being beaten to death with a club? I don't know about you, but that hardly sounds like fun.
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#13
RE: cute
Is it true that the musician Seal never returned from a Canadian tour?

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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#14
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 5:21 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: [Image: 05-baby-seal.w700.h700.jpg]

Boru

It works best as a one liner : "A baby seal walks into a club...." Rim shot.
God thinks it's fun to confuse primates. Larsen's God!






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#15
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 7:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 7:05 pm)Brian37 Wrote: Seal walks into a bar, Bartender asks, "Would you like to try our special?"

Seal aks, "What is that?"

Bartender, "Club Sandwich."

Seal responds, "You are a fucking asshole."

Last line ruined that joke.

Know when to stop.

Boru

Not enough lines.

Seal responds, "You are a fucking asshole."

Bartender, "I'm so sorry sir, I did not mean any offence."

Seal, "That's ok buddy, everyone makes mistakes."

Bartender, "Can I buy you a drink later after I knock off?"

Seal, "Sure."




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#16
RE: cute
(October 8, 2019 at 7:53 pm)Brian37 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 7:15 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: Last line ruined that joke.

Know when to stop.

Boru

How did I ruin that joke? I if I were a seal I wouldn't want someone offering me a club sandwich.

You like being beaten to death with a club? I don't know about you, but that hardly sounds like fun.

You ruined it because 'Club sandwich' is the punchline.  Traditionally, this is where jokes are meant to stop.  It's actually a pretty good joke, you just told it badly.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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#17
RE: cute
(October 9, 2019 at 5:42 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(October 8, 2019 at 7:53 pm)Brian37 Wrote: How did I ruin that joke? I if I were a seal I wouldn't want someone offering me a club sandwich.

You like being beaten to death with a club? I don't know about you, but that hardly sounds like fun.

You ruined it because 'Club sandwich' is the punchline.  Traditionally, this is where jokes are meant to stop.  It's actually a pretty good joke, you just told it badly.

Boru

You'll have him blubbering in a minute.
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#18
RE: cute
(October 9, 2019 at 4:17 pm)Cod Wrote:
(October 9, 2019 at 5:42 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: You ruined it because 'Club sandwich' is the punchline.  Traditionally, this is where jokes are meant to stop.  It's actually a pretty good joke, you just told it badly.

Boru

You'll have him blubbering in a minute.

Well, ya know, you have to overexplain everything - especially jokes and pop culture references.
[Image: MmQV79M.png]  
                                      
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#19
RE: cute
This littlun's also off the cute meter:

[Image: superthumb.jpg?t=1464580554]

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
Reply
#20
RE: cute
A duck walks into a bar and asks for a pint of Guinness and the landlord says 'wow a talking duck you could make a fortune in the circus'.

A circus, isn't that a big round thing made of sail cloth and sawdust on the floor?

Yes that's correct.

Then why the fuck would they need a plasterer?
It's amazing 'science' always seems to 'find' whatever it is funded for, and never the oppsite. Drich.
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