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The Book Of Cyril
#1
The Book Of Cyril
It occurs to me that we need a Book - most religions have got a Book.  Ours need not be perfect (a perfect Book would violate the very essence of Wombatism), but it makes sense that we have at the very least a set of guidelines for when the rejecters of Wombatism question our deeply held sincere beliefs.  I'll start off, but all other Cyrilists should feel free to add and amend as they see fit.

The Creation, Chapter One

1 In the beginning was the Pouch, and the Pouch was eternal. After countless ages, the Pouch did bring forth Cyril, and he was fully formed. 

2  And Cyril did look about him and he did see that all was void and there was no place to dig.

3  'This won't answer,' saith Cyril.  And he did emit from out his hindmost parts the Great Gas, which men call hydrogen.

4  And Cyril did return him to the Pouch and he did sleep for an age and an age, while the hydrogen did be getting on with things.

5  And when Cyril did emerge from the Pouch a second time, he saw that there were worlds and stars and grasses that were good to eat and lovely sandy bits in which to dig.

6  And Cyril saw that it was good.

Boru
'A man is accepted into a church for what he believes.  He is turned out for what he knows.' - Mark Twain
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#2
RE: The Book Of Cyril
The original Book of Cyril was mentioned in the Life of Brian.

To be fair it wasn’t so much a “book” as a “grubby scrap of paper with some paw prints”.

But the meaning is clear for the faithful. We see the STrewth.
Sanity adjacent.


Angel





IMGUR 
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#3
RE: The Book Of Cyril
You're going to need about ten pages naming each of his offspring and their offspring.
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#4
RE: The Book Of Cyril
(December 3, 2019 at 9:25 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: It occurs to me that we need a Book - most religions have got a Book.  Ours need not be perfect (a perfect Book would violate the very essence of Wombatism), but it makes sense that we have at the very least a set of guidelines for when the rejecters of Wombatism question our deeply held sincere beliefs.  I'll start off, but all other Cyrilists should feel free to add and amend as they see fit.

The Creation, Chapter One

1 In the beginning was the Pouch, and the Pouch was eternal. After countless ages, the Pouch did bring forth Cyril, and he was fully formed. 

2  And Cyril did look about him and he did see that all was void and there was no place to dig.

3  'This won't answer,' saith Cyril.  And he did emit from out his hindmost parts the Great Gas, which men call hydrogen.

4  And Cyril did return him to the Pouch and he did sleep for an age and an age, while the hydrogen did be getting on with things.

5  And when Cyril did emerge from the Pouch a second time, he saw that there were worlds and stars and grasses that were good to eat and lovely sandy bits in which to dig.

6  And Cyril saw that it was good.

Boru

Makes as much sense as anything else Bow Down
The meek shall inherit the Earth, the rest of us will fly to the stars.

Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups

Arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud ..... after a while you realise that the pig likes it!

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#5
RE: The Book Of Cyril
(December 3, 2019 at 4:28 pm)Shell B Wrote: You're going to need about ten pages naming each of his offspring and their offspring.

Everyone begat Cyrils and Cyrilettes...
Sanity adjacent.


Angel





IMGUR 
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#6
RE: The Book Of Cyril
(December 3, 2019 at 4:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote:
(December 3, 2019 at 4:28 pm)Shell B Wrote: You're going to need about ten pages naming each of his offspring and their offspring.

Everyone begat Cyrils and Cyrilettes...

I propose leaving out the begats.  No one reads those anyway.

Boru
'A man is accepted into a church for what he believes.  He is turned out for what he knows.' - Mark Twain
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#7
RE: The Book Of Cyril
(December 3, 2019 at 5:27 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote:
(December 3, 2019 at 4:57 pm)The Valkyrie Wrote: Everyone begat Cyrils and Cyrilettes...

I propose leaving out the begats.  No one reads those anyway.

Boru

Agreed.

Cyril agrees too.

Apparently he doesn’t want his real son being murdered snd starting any fanatical cults...
Sanity adjacent.


Angel





IMGUR 
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#8
RE: The Book Of Cyril
(December 3, 2019 at 9:25 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: It occurs to me that we need a Book - most religions have got a Book.  Ours need not be perfect (a perfect Book would violate the very essence of Wombatism), but it makes sense that we have at the very least a set of guidelines for when the rejecters of Wombatism question our deeply held sincere beliefs.  I'll start off, but all other Cyrilists should feel free to add and amend as they see fit.

The Creation, Chapter One

1 In the beginning was the Pouch, and the Pouch was eternal. After countless ages, the Pouch did bring forth Cyril, and he was fully formed. 

I see an immediate problem. According to this passage The Pouch precedes Cyril and Cyril is logically dependant on it. A dependant deity is laughable, and while Cyril certainly enjoys a good chuckle we want this religion to be taken every bit as seriously as the next. I recommend the following change to avoid this problem.

"1 In the beginning was Cyril, and Cyril was eternal. And Cyril did possess a Pouch. After countless ages, the Pouch did bring forth Cyril, and he was fully formed."

As you can see, that makes a lot more sense and improves the following line as well:

Quote:4  And Cyril did return him to the Pouch and he did sleep for an age and an age, while the hydrogen did be getting on with things.
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#9
RE: The Book Of Cyril
I need to know about Cyril's connection to the trinity? Is there wallabies and roos involved?
Asking for a theist friend.
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#10
RE: The Book Of Cyril
(December 3, 2019 at 9:25 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: It occurs to me that we need a Book - most religions have got a Book.  Ours need not be perfect (a perfect Book would violate the very essence of Wombatism), but it makes sense that we have at the very least a set of guidelines for when the rejecters of Wombatism question our deeply held sincere beliefs.  I'll start off, but all other Cyrilists should feel free to add and amend as they see fit.

The Creation, Chapter One

1 In the beginning was the Pouch, and the Pouch was eternal. After countless ages, the Pouch did bring forth Cyril, and he was fully formed. 

2  And Cyril did look about him and he did see that all was void and there was no place to dig.

3  'This won't answer,' saith Cyril.  And he did emit from out his hindmost parts the Great Gas, which men call hydrogen.

4  And Cyril did return him to the Pouch and he did sleep for an age and an age, while the hydrogen did be getting on with things.

5  And when Cyril did emerge from the Pouch a second time, he saw that there were worlds and stars and grasses that were good to eat and lovely sandy bits in which to dig.

6  And Cyril saw that it was good.

Boru






You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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