My battle with Mental Illness

[T.J.]

I can't remember if I mentioned this on here before, but since it's a new year coming to an end I thought I'd share some things I've been going through for the last five years.

Five years ago I developed a severe mental illness that was diagnosed as "Unspecified Schizophrenia" which meant I heard voices, I saw things that weren't there, I carried delusions, and have serious gaps in my memory. The funny thing (and not funny at the same time) is that the voices just had to take on certain personalities. What were they? God, Satan, and Death. Though interestingly enough these voices were female personas at first before they shifted over to their default male personas.

It started with delusions and I tried to get help, but nobody thought it was serious enough to get me help. So, sadly for me, I end up committing a crime and getting thrown in jail. They figure out I'm not in my right mind and I get sent to Larned State Hospital. I go back and forth between that place and jail three times before I get to a step down which sent me to Osawatomie, Kansas. Then after a year or two in there I get sent to a nursing home facility called Countryside which is where I'm at currently. And lucky me I get to make YouTube videos, have a laptop, and even have my game consoles and video games brought over so I can play them. Progress.

It was hard the first couple of years, but I eventually got to the point where I'm much more stable. I haven't heard any of the voices since January of 2017 and I haven't had an incident since then. This is actually the first time I admitted online that I've been in jail, but it feels good to let it out. I take my meds everyday and will make damn sure that this never overtakes me again. Fuck you, Schizophrenia! You're pain in the ass!

So... questions? Comments? In case you're wondering what it was I actually did I literally just walked into a house that wasn't my own, sat on the sofa and watched TV while talking shit. Literally it.

[The Grand Nudger]

That's fuckin rough, man. I did some lit shit while I was suffering from DID but I never had to spend a single night in so much as a county jail on account of it.

[T.J.]

Whatever you do never get arrested in Wyandotte County. We have the worst jail in the fucking state. You get 5 hours out of your cell at most, and that's if the guards are feeling generous.

[The Grand Nudger]

Wyandotte? Those are beautiful chickens, man. I doubt that my stay in a facility would end up being anything other than solitary. That's why I'm glad to have never had to deal with that particular hardship.

[brewer]

Opening up about your experiences is admirable. Most of us have our demons in one form or another.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

I can't remember if I mentioned this on here before, but since it's a new year coming to an end I thought I'd share some things I've been going through for the last five years.

Five years ago I developed a severe mental illness that was diagnosed as "Unspecified Schizophrenia" which meant I heard voices, I saw things that weren't there, I carried delusions, and have serious gaps in my memory. The funny thing (and not funny at the same time) is that the voices just had to take on certain personalities. What were they? God, Satan, and Death. Though interestingly enough these voices were female personas at first before they shifted over to their default male personas.

It started with delusions and I tried to get help, but nobody thought it was serious enough to get me help. So, sadly for me, I end up committing a crime and getting thrown in jail. They figure out I'm not in my right mind and I get sent to Larned State Hospital. I go back and forth between that place and jail three times before I get to a step down which sent me to Osawatomie, Kansas. Then after a year or two in there I get sent to a nursing home facility called Countryside which is where I'm at currently. And lucky me I get to make YouTube videos, have a laptop, and even have my game consoles and video games brought over so I can play them. Progress.

It was hard the first couple of years, but I eventually got to the point where I'm much more stable. I haven't heard any of the voices since January of 2017 and I haven't had an incident since then. This is actually the first time I admitted online that I've been in jail, but it feels good to let it out. I take my meds everyday and will make damn sure that this never overtakes me again. Fuck you, Schizophrenia! You're pain in the ass!

So... questions? Comments? In case you're wondering what it was I actually did I literally just walked into a house that wasn't my own, sat on the sofa and watched TV while talking shit. Literally it.

 
TJ, I'm so very sorry to hear of your suffering, but pleased that you are stable. Stay on your meds!

I say that from experience; I shared a flat with a bloke whose schizophrenia was stable enough that he was able to function and to work. Felt fine ,so stopped taking his meds. I had to get his parents to come and get him and back to hospital he went.. 

I haven't been hospitalised, but I've been close. The clinical diagnosis is severe depression and social anxiety. My shrink came up with a little cocktail of psychotropics. Hate taking them, but will probably need to for the rest of my life.  Oh yeah, at age 65 I was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum. (what used to be called Asperger's Syndrome)

So I empathise a bit, and wish you well and hope you maintain your stability .

[T.J.]

Oh yeah I won't ever stop taking my meds. It's the only thing keeping those pesky voices away. Imagine a voice in your head yelling at you for being atheist. At least it was dedicated to the part.

[Fireball]

Damn. Glad that medication that doesn't turn you into a zombie is available.

[vulcanlogician]

I feel for you. I've studied many accounts of schizophrenia, and it sounds horrifying. People with this disease need our empathy. And you have mine, T.J..

[T.J.]

Thanks. I appreciate that. I already lost friends due to social stigma around mental illness so that means a lot to me.