Orgasms and Pain Control

[Eudaimonia]

Wiccan magic??? *sigh* "men"

On the other hand, reading back I can understand how many of you draw the conclusion that my point was one of encouraging distraction during love making.. That was not my point at all.. That would be frustrating for all involved..

I'm not sure I can adequately express it.. other than a continuous process where the lovemaking is a culmination of previous efforts.. rather than an effort in itself..

Since I can not explain further .. my apologies..

My commentary was second hand to wanting to know what others thought about the article.. btw

[Violet]

Inb4starwars-sex

Depends... is this 'lovemaking' as part of a relationship between friends or a with a random person that one does not intend to see again? The former is necessarily a culmination of former "efforts" (just call it a relationship (and it can expand beyond there))... the other is an isolated act usually intended for either fun or money (or both).

An orgasm is not necessarily the end point of a sexual encounter (but a fine place to stop), but it is necessarily the result of previous activities required to result in it

[Eudaimonia]

Inb4starwars-sex

Depends... is this 'lovemaking' as part of a relationship between friends or a with a random person that one does not intend to see again? The former is necessarily a culmination of former "efforts" (just call it a relationship (and it can expand beyond there))... the other is an isolated act usually intended for either fun or money (or both).

Actually both.. with the presumption that the former is the goal.. and the latter are steps towards the goal.. Tantra was part of a religious doctrine.. While I dismissed the dogma during my readings.. I embraced what I felt were pretty good principles.. at least in theory..

There was a heirarchy of relating.. the height of which was a union that utilized sex as a way to seal/forge the bond psychologically... in the best way possible.. Sex was a tool of energy you might say.. Like how some people go through trials together.. the experience is so intense it is bonding.. In my understanding sex was a positive tool to bond as well as to buttress focus on continuous goals...

An orgasm is not necessarily the end point of a sexual encounter (but a fine place to stop), but it is necessarily the result of previous activities required to result in it

You.. uh.. get no argument from me there.. :-)

[Violet]

I don't have sex with strangers, so I can't tell you if that feels at all like 'bonding'. However, I sincerely doubt it does anything of the sort, as it's just sex.

I have had plenty of relationships, several of them sexual, and currently only one lasts. Sex does not infact seal a psychological bond... that depends on how your personalities and activities mesh. Infact, I'm told it can complicate relationships too much Can one's attachment for another increase after sex? Yes... that isn't to say it always does, and it can also decrease one's attachment for another.

Other intense experiences can be found in dangerous lines of work (ie: commercial setnet fishery)... and these are also not necessarily bonding

[Eudaimonia]

I don't have sex with strangers, so I can't tell you if that feels at all like 'bonding'. However, I sincerely doubt it does anything of the sort, as it's just sex.

I have had plenty of relationships, several of them sexual, and currently only one lasts. Sex does not infact seal a psychological bond... that depends on how your personalities and activities mesh. Infact, I'm told it can complicate relationships too much Can one's attachment for another increase after sex? Yes... that isn't to say it always does, and it can also decrease one's attachment for another.

Other intense experiences can be found in dangerous lines of work (ie: commercial setnet fishery)... and these are also not necessarily bonding

The psychological bond I refer to is an empathetic one. Since you do not believe that sex seals a psychological bond to some degree.. then I will concede that my viewpoint is specific to being stereotypically female.. wherein I assume that others are capable of empathy and outside of this those who are able to experience intimacy without empathy are unnerving as it too closely resembles the criminal mind's inability to experience it...

Such is my bias...

.

[Ace Otana]

How the hell did I miss this thread? A thread about sex!

I've noticed when having a sexual moment with girls that, sex is far more enjoyable long after having a few orgasms. Like for me, lots of oral sex, lots of facesitting/face ridding, and some very naughty wrestling really helps stimulate your hormones, and so increases the amount of sexual pleasure you experience when the final part of it all....the eruption. It's like the whole planet shook, you're so overwhelmed with pleasure that you can't possibly think straight.
For some reason, I get very little pleasure if I skip everything and just went for the last. Because there is no build up. Nothing to stimulate my hormones further. So less interest, less pleasure.
For me, sex has to last ages, it has to be at least a little dirty or there will be little to no pleasure.
Sometimes I can be really horny, but like this past week, I'm finding it very hard to become aroused.

What I must ask, is do any of you actually have a goal in sex or do you just jump in and see where it goes?
Don't know about the whole connection thing. Never really thought about it.

[Cinjin]

What I must ask, is do any of you actually have a goal in sex or do you just jump in and see where it goes?

but of course ... my goal is to always end up looking like this when I'm finished!












jk

[Violet]

The psychological bond I refer to is an empathetic one. Since you do not believe that sex seals a psychological bond to some degree.. then I will concede that my viewpoint is specific to being stereotypically female.. wherein I assume that others are capable of empathy and outside of this those who are able to experience intimacy without empathy are unnerving as it too closely resembles the criminal mind's inability to experience it...

Such is my bias...

Haha... because my sisters are empathetically bonded with those they have had sex with? Funny, that's what you are.

I'm plenty empathetic... I'm also plenty as criminal as they come. I'm also plenty insane as that happens. I don't have sex with strangers because they are strangers... I don't have sex with enemies for that they are... I have less sex than I would like with those I do like. I also can completely detatch myself from my emotions, which is something I don't do during sex.

So rest assured that with those I do have sex with: I am bonded with empathetically

[Eudaimonia]

I am not concerned with whom you have sex.. To hold the view that some level of bonding occurs during sex no matter the relationship or non relationship does not mean one also encourages the act in all the varying ways it comes about..... or is interested in another's sexual standards..

My previous statements reveal my admittedly biased assumptions.. as I do not know many people, mainly women, who are able to walk away from such an intimate act without it affecting them emotionally in some way even if they dislike the person..

We are sensory beings.. and as such are emotional beings.. even if our bonding emotions are not expressed or felt the same way... The only type of humans I am aware of who are able to experience invasive intimacy and feel nothing are criminally minded... That is all...

[Zen Badger]

but of course ... my goal is to always end up looking like this when I'm finished!











jk

Long time between wanks CC?