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Current time: March 29, 2024, 2:58 am

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Jesus for President
#1
Jesus for President
Seeing as elections are coming up in America, I am wondering if Jesus ran for President of the USA, would he actually win?

There are a lot of people who claim Jesus is the most important person, but is he good enough to be LORD yet not worthy of being President?

"Love your enemies"
"Render unto Caesar"

That will go over well...
"People need heroes. They don't need to know how he died clawing his eyes out, screaming for mercy. The real story would just hurt sales, and dampen the spirits of our customers." - Mythology for Profit
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#2
RE: Jesus for President
That jesus couldn't get elected dog catcher.

This is the jesus they want....


[Image: jesus_action.jpg]



Armaments sold separately*
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#3
RE: Jesus for President
Is Jesus a Libertarian or a Republican? Cause I'm guessin he's not running as a Democratic nominee.


Doesn't matter - you need money to run for president, and even the christians admit that dude don't ever have any money.
[Image: Evolution.png]

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#4
RE: Jesus for President
(May 20, 2011 at 1:58 am)FadingW Wrote: Seeing as elections are coming up in America, I am wondering if Jesus ran for President of the USA, would he actually win?

There are a lot of people who claim Jesus is the most important person, but is he good enough to be LORD yet not worthy of being President?

"Love your enemies"
"Render unto Caesar"

That will go over well...

He'd be metaphorically crucified by Karl Rove's attack ads branding him as a socialist, pacifist, "far left" extremist.
Atheist Forums Hall of Shame:
"The trinity can be equated to having your cake and eating it too."
...      -Lucent, trying to defend the Trinity concept
"(Yahweh's) actions are good because (Yahweh) is the ultimate standard of goodness. That’s not begging the question"
...       -Statler Waldorf, Christian apologist
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#5
RE: Jesus for President
[Image: loaves1.gif]

[Image: repjesus7.gif]

[Image: 09.png]

[Image: Republican_Jesus.jpg]
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#6
RE: Jesus for President
Unfortunately, Jesus wouldn't be able to produce a long-form birth certificate to prove that he's eligible. But somehow I doubt the birthers would care. See how much of an about-face they'd do if Jesus really did try to run for president.

But they wouldn't want the real anti-rich, pro-poor socialist Jesus, anyway, they'd want Republican Jesus:

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Republican_Jesus
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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#7
RE: Jesus for President
(May 20, 2011 at 2:54 am)Cinjin Cain Wrote: Is Jesus a Libertarian or a Republican? Cause I'm guessin he's not running as a Democratic nominee.


Doesn't matter - you need money to run for president, and even the christians admit that dude don't ever have any money.

Well going by the bible I'd put him in the social anarchist camp....

...Is Noam Chomsky Jesus?
.
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#8
RE: Jesus for President
Nope...wrong again, Void.

The republicolibertarianazis say otherwise.


http://www.raptureready.com/republican.html


Quote:until the Lord Jesus comes for His Church in the rapture -- presuming both major political parties in America continue to hold to their present party lines -- it is the view of Rapture Ready that Republican values are America's best political option.

Fuck the poor and bless the rich. Apparently these dickwads knew what 'jesus' wanted better than he did himself!
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#9
RE: Jesus for President
Quote:Jesus would never endorse or be a member of any party whose platform supports abortion, gay rights, and a general hostility to Bible-believing Christians.

With a majority of Democrats being Christians, why would they adopt a platform which is hostile to Christians? Oh, right. "Bible-believing" in this instance means, "only us real, true Christians who hate gays, abortion, and are sitting around waiting for the rapture."

Quote:The Democrat Party would never have Jesus as a member.

I don't know of any political party anywhere which would turn away members.

Quote:This party champions taking ever-increasing tax money from the pockets of those who work to give to those who won't work

And this goes against what Jesus said how exactly?

Quote:The Democratic Party continues to be led by those who believe pacifism is the easiest pathway to world peace.

Because Jesus was all for kicking the shit out of people.

Quote:The Grand Old Party may share many values that can be traced back to the Bible, but it is still the GOP, not the GOD party.

You apparently haven't taken a very close look at the GOP lately. They seem to think that GOP stands for "God's Own Party."

Quote:That said, humanism remains at the core of the GOP's, or any party's, attempts to rule. This means that it, like its Democratic counterpart, is fatally flawed.

Because being a humanitarian, or even humane, is evil and not at all what God or Jesus ever wanted.
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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#10
RE: Jesus for President
He would be assassinated right after he's elected.
Live every day as if already dead, that way you're not disappointed when you are. Big Grin
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