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If I Was God

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If I Was God
Cinjin Offline Donators
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#1
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If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 4:03 pm
Alright, pointless thread ... but perhaps amusing. Even Sae can answer this one because even she claims to be A god but not THEE God. Tongue

If you're gonna play ... You must follow three qualifiers for assuming the role of God (cause apparently the Christian god has rules for some unknown fucking reason which he has to adhere to. **massive eye-roll**

#1 You must create at least one intelligent species (ie. humans).
#2 You must offer reward and punishment of some kind for "sins" committed by those intelligent beings.
#3 You have to create an afterlife of some kind.

Oh and lastly, you must sadistically test those beings at random throughout time. (JUST KIDDING on this last one ... excuse smart-ass remark) Tongue

Alright, without further ado. If I was God:

#1 I would create a universe that had only human beings and animals on multiple planets... possibly hundreds of planet. This universe would allow for easy inter-planetary travel with the adequate technology. I would do away with racism by making every human the exact same shade of blue skin.

#2 Since I have to follow the rules. I would make only one thing be a sin. Cold-blooded pre-calculated unwarranted murder of another human being. That's It! Human beings can make their own laws regarding the rest (.... mostly cause they would anyway.)

#3 Since I have no choice but to punish people for the sin of murder ... I would make them spend time in their own customized "hell". Whatever they hated the most in this life, that's what they would be doing for the amount of years they stole from another human being. Kill three children ... you could easily be spending 240 years cleaning sewage backup off your basement floor. (or whatever it is you hate) The duration of the punishment would fit the crime. I'm not punishing people for-fucking-ever!
The reward for living a good life would be a choice between your own personal "heaven" or simply another shot at another life.


Additional item (and the whole point of this thread): I would tell EVERYONE about me. I wouldn't make a one time appearance for a few years and expect the entire universe to love someone they didn't even know existed. Also NO ONE would be REQUIRED to love me. I'd regularly show up on these planets and make sure that everyone knew exactly what sin was, what the consequence was, and than tell them to enjoy life and don't bug me. No guess work. No religious wars. No stupid bull shit.

What would you do if you were God? My guess is, most of you would do a hell-of-a-lot better job than the one we've all come to know.


[Image: Iamgod.jpg]

[Image: Evolution.png]

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searchingforanswers Offline
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#2
RE: If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 5:30 pm
Id make orgasms last ten minutes. Cake would give you abs and people could have wings.
If I die and god is real, im so screwed.
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frankiej Offline
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#3
RE: If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 5:39 pm
I would make it that humans can't die from injury, only from aging bodies... Just so we could beat the fuck out of each other for fun... And so you don't have a tragic sex accident... of course you could still have a traffic sex accident... But, you wouldn't die.

As a reward for "behaving" I think I would make it so that you would no longer have to masturbate yourself, you would be assigned a "pal" to do it for you. Oh, and you would recieve a super power of your choice... within reason of course. You can't have such powers like having the power to take other peoples powers for good...

And the afterlife would be made of Mr Kiplings Angel cakes...mmm.
Cunt
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Oldandeasilyconfused Offline
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#4
RE: If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 8:35 pm
ME? I'd fumigate the planets of humans and leave it that way. Perhaps try again on a distant planet.Women only,reproducing by parthenogenesis.Cool Shades
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C Rod Offline
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#5
RE: If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 9:21 pm
Excuse the so called arbitrary rules and tell me what it would be like if you were God?
"Its not what your looking at that matters, its what you see." -Henry David Thoreau
♪Oh, I get lost in my mind Lost, I get lost I get Lost in my mind Lost in my Mind Yes, I get lost in my mind Lost, I get lost I get lost I get lost Oh, I get♪ -The Head and the Heart
"You are wise, witty and wonderful, but you spend too much time reading this sort of stuff.”- Frank Crane
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thesummerqueen Offline
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#6
RE: If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 9:23 pm
[stretching luxuriously] who says I'm not a goddess already?
[Image: Untitled2_zpswaosccbr.png]
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frankiej Offline
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#7
RE: If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 9:26 pm
(August 11, 2011 at 9:23 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: [stretching luxuriously] who says I'm not a goddess already?

that creepy guy crouched in the corner told me you weren't
Cunt
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thesummerqueen Offline
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#8
RE: If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 9:49 pm
He's just sulking
[Image: Untitled2_zpswaosccbr.png]
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Rokcet Scientist Offline
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#9
RE: If I Was God
August 11, 2011 at 11:34 pm (This post was last modified: August 11, 2011 at 11:47 pm by Rokcet Scientist.)
(August 11, 2011 at 5:30 pm)searchingforanswers Wrote: Id make orgasms last ten minutes.

That's a matter of practice and experience, search. Comes with time. Got 'm to last up to two hours now! It's Zen, you know! And hardcore porn IRL of course. I promise you it's not God that gives me a hardon...

Devil
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searchingforanswers Offline
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#10
RE: If I Was God
August 12, 2011 at 12:12 am
(August 11, 2011 at 11:34 pm)Rokcet Scientist Wrote:
(August 11, 2011 at 5:30 pm)searchingforanswers Wrote: Id make orgasms last ten minutes.

That's a matter of practice and experience, search. Comes with time. Got 'm to last up to two hours now! It's Zen, you know! And hardcore porn IRL of course. I promise you it's not God that gives me a hardon...

Devil

Well if you ever want to impart this knowledge to me id gladly listen.
If I die and god is real, im so screwed.
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If I Was God

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