Empathic, Energy Vampirism, or What?

[Erinome]

So as some of you may know, I am a terrible insomniac. I barely ever sleep for the first 48 hours after 3-4 hours sleep, then I take 20minute-1hour naps for three or four days. I was on day 3 last night when my ex boyfriend called me. We talked for an hour, which is really unusual for us. It's never more than a few minutes before one of us hangs up on the other in mid sentence.

Anyway, he pulled his typical shit on me, but here's the thing. After we hung up I just laid there. I fell asleep and woke up at 3:30am. That is amazing. I haven't had 6 hours of sleep since I was with him. My roommate is a mystic and is trying to convince me that my ex is an "energy vampire".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychic_vampire

I don't know about that, but something that gets the skeptic in me knocked off her feet is the psychic condition of empathy.

http://www.empathic.net/empathic.html

I didn't think I believed in psychic abilities at all, but this is strange. I have never openly admitted this before, but I have always felt like this. For the last 24 hours before he called I could sense that he was going to call. I just felt it. When he wakes up, I know he is up somehow, even though he is 600 miles away. I can go look at his facebook sometimes and it's confirmed by a status update that he has just woken up. It's freaky, and there are countless examples of this occurrence throughout my life with various people.

When we lived in the same house I often felt sluggish. I slept 8-10 hours a night, and found it hard to stay awake during the day. Before I met him, I was plagued with insomnia as I am now.

I studied psychology for these reasons:

1. I am an excellent listener. I have always been an excellent listener.
2. I am a gush and I always feel the need to help people and only in recent years have I found the practicality of taking my own needs seriously.
3. To figure out what the fuck was wrong with me.

When I read that "empathic" summation, it nearly took my breath away. That's me! Not like the Virgo summation of astrology bullshit, but like holy fuck, that's me.

Of course I am not completely sold on it. I need more evidence.

Is my ex boyfriend an energy vampire? Does he consciously or unconsciously suck the life out of me, or is it possible that I feel his misery and that drains the life out of me? OR Can it be explained scientifically or psychologically?



Hmmm.. What does AF think?

[Darth]

You studied psychology? Do your own study then.

Get the maths done, log every time that you think he is going to call, every time he does call, over a long enough time frame. How often does he call, is it roughly every (x time period)? Is the time between calls to you affected by who last hung up on whom? I'd say you can probably also include family members and very close friends as well, if a person were actually an empath surely they would also have connections to those people as well. Proving someone is awake when you feel they are might be more difficult. Keep in mind though that you wouldn't just be after correct 'hits', but patterns of behaviour. If they have a pattern to their habits, whether it be phoning people or posting on their wall, then predicting when they will isn't exactly a mircale. Log your precognitive feelings (Before the event actually happens), hits and misses, look for patterns, and work out the probability.

Testing some for 'psychic vampirism' might be more difficult without their co-operation however =P.

Reading it but... imo it reads exactly like a horoscope, designed to apply to a very wide group of people, especially the type of person who is inclined to believe in it in the first place.

Don't we remember all 'psychic' hits, but forget all the misses?

[KichigaiNeko]

Have you been diagnosed with Autism?? Because Autistic people are basically empathic. Emotional turmoil is a very unsavoury environment for them and being confronted (even in jest) is mentally and physically "Draining" for them

On the topic of "Draining" yes there are people who, after you spend some time with them, seem to leave you "Drained". Bullies, the insecure and (for me) the religious are the main culprits. I am thinking that it is the amount of thought and energy we use in trying to mentally "protect ourselves" is why we "feel drained" I have this issue with my father..( Let's NOT go there)

There is nothing wrong with you. Wouldn't mind wagering that perhaps you will score on the "Autistic Continuum" somewhere in the Asperger's range. While I am NOT clued up fully on your situation or clinical history I understand what you are saying as both myself and my son register on the Autistic Continuum and my daughter has Epilepsy. These conditions require medical attention and monitoring. How is yours??

I have mentioned before how when you have a close emotional link to someone you will "sense" what they are feeling no matter where on the planet they are. Just what this is I have to leave to others who are more learned in this field than I am.

[Erinome]

It's so inconsistent. He calls sometimes twice a week (I rarely answer), or a month will pass and he doesn't bother. It happened a lot with my best friend, but he's dead. It happens with my youngest daughter often, but she is only 3, so it's hard to test on her. The thing is, it's so difficult to know that it is even happening most of the time, so I don't realize it until after something freaky has happened.

Most of the time, beforehand, I spend it trying to convince myself I am silly. Maybe I should stop that and look at it a different way. Delving deeply into myself for analysis scares the shit out of me... Perhaps it's time I stop being such a chicken shit.

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Have you been diagnosed with Autism?? Because Autistic people are basically empathic. Emotional turmoil is a very unsavoury environment for them and being confronted (even in jest) is mentally and physically "Draining" for them

On the topic of "Draining" yeas there are people who, after you spend some time with them, seem to leave you "Drained". Bullies, the insecure and (for me) the religious are the main culprits.

There is nothing wrong with you. Wouldn't mind wagering that perhaps you will score on the "Autistic Continuum" somewhere in the Asperger's range. While I am NOT clued up fully on your situation or clinical history I understand what you are saying as both myself and my son register on the Autistic Continuum and my daughter has Epilepsy. These conditions require medical attention and monitoring.

I have mentioned before how when you have a close emotional link to someone you will "sense" what they are feeling no matter where on the planet they are. Just what this is I have to leave to others who are more learned in this field than I am.

He is a bully. lol

I've never considered Autism. I must research this!

[KichigaiNeko]

An empath may be feeling great and in an amicable mood but if they visit a place such as a large mall and all of a sudden feel depressed or angry, that is due to the fact that a person or people around them are feeling those same emotions and so, the empath will internalize those emotions and make them their own. An empath can eventually learn to block out the energy so they are not afflicted by it every day wherever they go but it is a learned skill and one an empath must strive to achieve so that they too may lead a good and happy life.

Empaths may also feel physically ill when someone else is sick. This is usually when the person who is actually sick is a loved one or someone very close to them but that doesn’t always have to be the case. Empaths don’t even have to know about the other person’s sickness, they will simply feel the exact same symptoms even though there is no physical explanation for their symptoms.

I found these words interesting. Classic Autistic behaviour and has been observed in my son over about 16 years. I have recently met some of his friends and "Guess what" they all clustered around me and talked and talked and talked... not that I was concerned about that but I did feel "drained" afterwards. Sans a clinical diagnosis for myself (I am just connecting the dots atm) I would consider myself to be in the mild to slight range of the Autistic continuum. My Son on the other hand DOES have a clinical diagnosis and is in the mild range that includes Asperger's Syndrome. My Daughter gets VERY manic then depressed but the only diagnosis is Juvenile Epilepsy... I am certain something else is going on there but she is a woman grown and up to her when she seeks medical attention and for what.

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I've never considered Autism. I must research this!

And get yourself SEEN to by the appropriate Medical personnel. Sleep deprivation is a killer and for all your youthful energy I would be concerned about "Hitting the wall" at a time when your children need you.

[frankiej]

Energy vampire? That is marvellous...

[Erinome]

Energy vampire? That is marvellous...

This comes from a guy that thinks crystals in his underwear give him magical powers.

[frankiej]

Don't they?

Shit, well I just wasted a lot of money...

[Erinome]

Considering he can't seem to even rinse his own damn plate off, I'd say you both wasted your/my money.

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An empath may be feeling great and in an amicable mood but if they visit a place such as a large mall and all of a sudden feel depressed or angry, that is due to the fact that a person or people around them are feeling those same emotions and so, the empath will internalize those emotions and make them their own. An empath can eventually learn to block out the energy so they are not afflicted by it every day wherever they go but it is a learned skill and one an empath must strive to achieve so that they too may lead a good and happy life.

Empaths may also feel physically ill when someone else is sick. This is usually when the person who is actually sick is a loved one or someone very close to them but that doesn’t always have to be the case. Empaths don’t even have to know about the other person’s sickness, they will simply feel the exact same symptoms even though there is no physical explanation for their symptoms.

I found these words interesting. Classic Autistic behaviour and has been observed in my son over about 16 years. I have recently met some of his friends and "Guess what" they all clustered around me and talked and talked and talked... not that I was concerned about that but I did feel "drained" afterwards. Sans a clinical diagnosis for myself (I am just connecting the dots atm) I would consider myself to be in the mild to slight range of the Autistic continuum. My Son on the other hand DOES have a clinical diagnosis and is in the mild range that includes Asperger's Syndrome. My Daughter gets VERY manic then depressed but the only diagnosis is Juvenile Epilepsy... I am certain something else is going on there but she is a woman grown and up to her when she seeks medical attention and for what.

---

I've never considered Autism. I must research this!

And get yourself SEEN to by the appropriate Medical personnel. Sleep deprivation is a killer and for all your youthful energy I would be concerned about "Hitting the wall" at a time when your children need you.

Thanks to another forum member, I have a doctor appointment next week so that I can inquire about a medication that I haven't tried yet.

I think I will also ask about the autism thing. I learned how to read and write at a very early age, and I was a very emotional child. I didn't really get on well with other children my age, and I often felt like a square peg. It's a possibility that autism could be an answer of some sort.

[Rayaan]

When we lived in the same house I often felt sluggish. I slept 8-10 hours a night, and found it hard to stay awake during the day.

In my opinion, I think this is something psychological.

This happens maybe because you are unconsciously wanting to sleep on his shoulders when he's around you (or even talks to you). Hence you become sleepy.