Redbaron

[Shell B]

My advice to him would be, if you're going to pay rent, do it somewhere where you want to live. Do not give it to a couple of assholes who do not want to take care of you unless you bow down to them. Furthermore, is he in high school or college? If he is in high school -- fuck them. Another thing is the law. I am not sure how it is where you live, but in my state, whether you pay rent or not, if it is established that you live somewhere, you have to have 30 days notice. In the meantime, no one is legally allowed to touch your belongings. If I were you, I would remind your sister of that. While he is sorting everything out, he should embarrass her by telling other members of the church how uncharitable she is. Religious folk hate nothing more than being the source of church gossip.

[KichigaiNeko]

Well I talked to my sister today and she says that she's tired of him not respecting them and not following the rules they set up for their house. I can respect that, but kicking your own son out for not going to church is pretty extreme. She said that she put her foot down and didn't want to kick him out, but she has to stand firm. I asked her if there were any rules he wasn't following other than not wanting to go to church, and she said not really. He's never been disrespectful to me or my wife, so I'm thinking the whole issue is the church thing. Perhaps he's only disrespectful to his parents, but as I said, respect is a two-way street. It's hard to have respect for someone who throws your clothes out in the dirt.

Quite frankly they just lost ANY respect.

So that's where things stand for now. My sister did say that he could pay them some rent every month and they wouldn't make him go to church, but I don't know if they'd hang that over his head or not. I think it's probably best for him to stay away for a while. I know he's probably just a stubborn 18-year-old, but if they ever expect him to want to go to church again, they certainly didn't do it the right way.

WTF?? He has to PAY to not go to church??

What sort of people are these??

---

How awful you both must feel. Give RedBaron my best and I hope he passes his exams with high grades.

Atheists proving to be more charitable than xtians??

[Cinjin]

I've said it before, but I'll say it again ...

Christianity destroys families!

I was never kicked out of my house, but I know what this kid is going through. My parents were (are) a couple of crazies too. My dad's got jesus shoved so far up his ass that when he talks - thorns fall out of his mouth.


There's no reasoning or rationalizing with these people. It would be like if Lucent or Waldork was your parent. You Lose!





I live in Michigan RedBaron ... and although its highly unlikely you will ever make it here. You've always got a soft bed in my spare room. Kudos to your uncle.

[thesummerqueen]

Oh, poor Redbaron - somehow I missed this thread earlier, but I'm so glad he's got you, DT. I can't fucking believe they actually went through with it.

I agree about the church gossip thing - that might have been fuel to the fire to the initial problem: they didn't want to be seen as bad parents for having an atheist kid. I hope shaming them works somehow, but I don't think it would be healthy for him to go back to them anytime soon.

Keep hanging in there, Redbaron!

[Heather]

Wow. I'm speechless. To think a parent would kick their own son out for not attending church? That's just disgusting. And then to say he can pay them rent in return for not going to church? Seriously? Man, I would try to find a local news place that would broadcast this all over the TV. Like Shell said, the religious hate gossip about them so I think that would be awesome.

[SleepingDemon]

This is just awful. I can't for the life of me understand parents who at any point decide that their ideology is more important than their family. If he didn't have you, ended up on the street and something happened that would be on them. There are organizations out there that can help him if need be.

Atheist organizations have paid for full tuition for students who were ostracized by their parents, paid for rent, etc. Just let Redbaron know that he is not alone, and although his parents may take him for granted, others will not. Best of luck to you and your nephew. I'm grateful that he has you in his life, and isn't enduring this by himself.

[Jaysyn]

Perhaps he's only disrespectful to his parents, but as I said, respect is a two-way street. It's hard to have respect for someone who throws your clothes out in the dirt.

If he's in the USA & gets mail at that address, they cannot just throw him out. They have to go thru the eviction process, especially if they don't have a lease with him. He needs to walk his ass back inside the house & call the cops if they've destroyed any of his belongings.

My family has several rental properties so I'm not just talking out of my ass.

[Doubting Thomas]

He's offered to pay my wife & I something for rent, but since he's currently going to college and working only a part-time job, he doesn't make all that much. So I'm not too worried about him paying us anything. I don't think he quite makes enough to live in a place of his own yet unless we could find a really cheap apartment somewhere or something. Or he may have to take on another part-time job.

The problem I see with Redbaron paying his parents rent is that his older sister lives in the house, but she doesn't have to pay rent. Of course, she goes to church, but the thing is that my sister & brother-in-law didn't have a problem when she was spending nights at her boyfriend's house, and after her boyfriend broke up with her after finding out that she was sleeping with someone else, well, all is forgiven as long as she goes to church. But there's a huge double standard there when they constantly pick arguments with RB about not going to church, but his older sister can sleep with whoever she wants and nothing is said about it. I think there are a lot of issues going on that are deeper than RB's refusal to attend church, since RB was never the favorite whereas his older sister & younger brother are. It's been that way for a long time, which I think has to account for most of his lack of respect for his parents.

I think they all just need to sit down in a neutral location and work out their issues, perhaps with a moderator to keep the peace, but I think most of it depends on how badly they want him to come back or how badly he wants to return. I would hate to see this happen, but I wouldn't blame him much if he ever just totally cut off all ties with them.

[DeistPaladin]

I agree with others Thomas that you're a good man for helping him.

His parents are being "good Christians", as in they're doing exactly what Jesus told them to.

Jesus promised to divide families:

Luke 12:51-53 Suppose ye that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, Nay; but rather division:
For from henceforth there shall be five in one house divided, three against two, and two against three.
The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.

Jesus likes the maladjusted haters:

Luke 14:26 If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Jesus defines family in terms of who is among the faithful, not who he is related to:

Matthew 12:46-50 While he yet talked to the people, behold, his mother and his brethren stood without, desiring to speak with him.
Then one said unto him, Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren!
For whosoever shall do the will of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.

Jesus doesn't want anyone to show even respect for family members who did not believe:

Matthew 8:21-22 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.
But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.

Like any cult leader, Jesus wants us to put family and friends at a distant second place to our devotion to him:

Matthew 10:37
He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Christianity: The religion of great family values!

[Cinjin]

I think they all just need to sit down in a neutral location and work out their issues, perhaps with a moderator to keep the peace...

I disagree. You cannot reason with the unreasonable. It's like an employer who illegally fires you. You can get the state to force that employer to hire you back, but your work environment from there on out is going to be absolute hell. I think he should wash his hands of the whole damn mess and let his parents come crawling back to him when he's 30 and has his own family that they want to have a part of.


A child will eventually realize that the love it has is not unconditional ... and by the way, how could it be? The love they have from their god is not unconditional. It only makes sense that they practice the kind of love that they believe themselves to receive.

Run KID!! Get as far away from crazy as you can.