christian looking to understand athiests

[Redbeard The Pink]

I was raised Christian and believed pretty devoutly for much of my life. As a young child I was actually more skeptical, but then I eventually let it sink in and started using the full force of my intellect to do enough mental gymnastics to make the Bible agree with science (at least in my head). After enough learning and life experience, my critical thinking skills eventually trained themselves on this problem, and I started to experiment with judging God's existence and historicity the same why I judge the existence and historicity of everything else. When I realized not just that there is no evidence for any gods, but also that there is evidence to suggest that they're all fictional constructs, I realized my beliefs were completely irrational and indefensible. That's when the last brick of my faith finally crumbled.