I have a huge custody trial coming up on Monday. This is going to be one of the most important days of my life. I've put so much time and energy into this, and while I know I have an extremely, overwhelmingly strong case, I am still a bundle of nerves and anxiety. I've had six anxiety attacks in the last 9 hours, so let's just say I've been having anxiety attacks since I woke up this morning. Everything important to me is riding on my shoulders, and there's not a centimeter of room for failure. If it were my own fate that was in the balance, it would be easier to cope, but since it's my child's fate, the stress is devouring me, threatening to consume the last bit of sanity to which I cling.
To make matters worse, my grandmother is really sick. We found out yesterday that her spleen is enlarged, and she has cirrhosis of the liver, caused by diabetes. She's had dementia for a while, which has been extremely difficult for everyone, and it's all making me seriously depressed.
My friend, Gilbert, who was the long time partner of my best friend who died in 2010 is also succumbing to complications caused by AIDS. I've been taking care of him, as I promised these last 2 years, but he's dwindling pretty fast. He's been in the hospital for 2 months now, fighting off a lung infection, and I was told by his doctor this morning that we're looking at less than a week now.
This month was already kinda rough for me to begin with, as my birthday is on the 24th, Cris's birthday was the 26th, and he died on the 30th.
I think I seriously need to be sedated, but I can't. I have to be the glue, and the glue isn't supposed to let things fall apart, by definition. I'm usually pretty good at dealing with stress, but could it be possible that I'm coming unraveled? I've done a pretty great job so far of putting on a brave face, but I'm growing weary of even trying. It's like everyone around me expects me to be more than human.
I don't want anyone's sympathies, just give me some ways that you deal with stress.
To make matters worse, my grandmother is really sick. We found out yesterday that her spleen is enlarged, and she has cirrhosis of the liver, caused by diabetes. She's had dementia for a while, which has been extremely difficult for everyone, and it's all making me seriously depressed.
My friend, Gilbert, who was the long time partner of my best friend who died in 2010 is also succumbing to complications caused by AIDS. I've been taking care of him, as I promised these last 2 years, but he's dwindling pretty fast. He's been in the hospital for 2 months now, fighting off a lung infection, and I was told by his doctor this morning that we're looking at less than a week now.
This month was already kinda rough for me to begin with, as my birthday is on the 24th, Cris's birthday was the 26th, and he died on the 30th.
I think I seriously need to be sedated, but I can't. I have to be the glue, and the glue isn't supposed to let things fall apart, by definition. I'm usually pretty good at dealing with stress, but could it be possible that I'm coming unraveled? I've done a pretty great job so far of putting on a brave face, but I'm growing weary of even trying. It's like everyone around me expects me to be more than human.
I don't want anyone's sympathies, just give me some ways that you deal with stress.
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