Jokes

[Rahul]

One day three men were applying to join the FBI.

The agents walk up to the first applicant and say, "Behind that first door to the left is a room. Your wife is waiting for you there. Take this gun and go kill her." The man looks at them in shock, "I can't kill my wife!" The agents say, "Very well, you aren't our man. Go get your wife and leave."

The agents walk up to the second applicant and say the same thing to him, this time for the second door. The man takes the gun, goes into the room, and everything is quiet for a few minutes. Finally the man comes out in tears. "I tried but I can't kill my wife. I love her too much." "Very well," the agents tell him. "Take your wife and go."

The agents walk up to the third applicant and tell him to go into the third door with the gun. The man walks in, closes the door, and rapid gunshots ring out. A few seconds later there is a lot of crashing around and screaming.

The man comes stumbling out of the room in dissaray and blurts, "That gun had nothing but blanks in it! I had to beat the bitch to death with the chair!"

[FlyingNarwhal]

There was a bus full of ugly people that got in a fatal crash, killing all of the ugly people on board. They all went up to the gates of heaven where they were greeted by God. He said that before they entered heaven, he would grant them one wish each.

The first ugly person stepped up, and asked God to make him beautiful, and it was done. The second person stepped up and also asked to be made beautiful, and it was done. And so each ugly person stepped up to the gates and asked to become beautiful.

About a quarter of the way through the line, a guy in the back starts chuckling. Halfway through the line he starts to laugh even harder. And by the time the line is almost up to him he is laughing so hard tears are coming from his eyes.

Finally he reaches the gates, and God asks him what his wish is. He grins and says, "I wish they were all ugly again."