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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 9:08 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 5:02 pm)Esquilax Wrote: (August 5, 2015 at 4:29 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: Does your penis have treads? That's interesting.
How else is it supposed to traverse uneven terrain?
Regarding the point you've been making these last few posts, for a second there I was about to disagree with you on certain aspects of it, before I realized the issue was with me, not with what you're saying. When it comes to sex things my mind is so open it's basically a flat plain upon which almost anything can happen, so at first I was just like "wait, why not just do the BDSM anyway, even if they're not into it, if it makes their partner happy?" because even if it's not a kink I personally have (not that BDSM isn't my kink because it totally is  ) I can still appreciate it on an anthropological level just by seeing what, specifically, about it turns on my partner. Even if I can find no arousing part of the act, it still has appeal as a curio, like fine art.
But not everyone is like me, in that respect, and I got that way through a pretty weird sexually formative period in my life. I can pretty much learn kinks, while other people can be stuck in theirs. With that in mind, I still can't imagine going into a sexual relationship with someone completely blind; even with my variable tastes I need to know what I'm getting into. Luckie and I had sex within like half an hour of being in the same physical space as one another, and that was great, but if it hadn't been then that would have been extremely useful information to have, and in either case it came on the back of countless long distance sexy times and extremely thorough accounts of where we were at, sexually. I can't imagine our first time in that hotel room going anywhere near as smoothly if I hadn't come in equipped with the knowledge of what turns her on and what doesn't.
Here's a hint: it's choking. 
Cl I want to build something on what Esq is saying here. Sexual gratification is one of the major reasons that people cheat on their partners. It's because they haven't explore these aspects of themselves and they themselves may not know what they really want, sometimes not till eyars later. So you have to explore these things inn yourself and with your partner before you get married, else you have a sexually unsatisfactory marriage that will make most people cheat. So premarital sex is a good thing because it helps you grow as a individual and well, it feels fucking awesome.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 9:11 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 9:05 pm)Yeauxleaux Wrote: "not a socially approved opportunity to have sex"?
What part of "sex is only for married couples" is NOT socially approved opportunity to have sex? It's the ONLY sex the Bible does approve.
In his defense I think he means that you shouldn't marry someone because you wonna fuck them. On that point I totally agree, it why Conservative Christian states have high divorce rates.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 9:13 pm
(This post was last modified: August 5, 2015 at 9:15 pm by Regina.)
Are people really virgins until marriage in conservative Christian states though? I think not, defeats the point of getting married for sex
![[Image: 20.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=nlc.p3k.hu%2Fdata%2Fcikk%2F14%2F139311%2F20.jpg)
Have no idea why the divorce rates are so high though
"Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the road, and then getting hit by an airplane" - sarcasm_only
"Ironically like the nativist far-Right, which despises multiculturalism, but benefits from its ideas of difference to scapegoat the other and to promote its own white identity politics; these postmodernists, leftists, feminists and liberals also use multiculturalism, to side with the oppressor, by demanding respect and tolerance for oppression characterised as 'difference', no matter how intolerable." - Maryam Namazie
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 9:32 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 9:08 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: (August 5, 2015 at 5:02 pm)Esquilax Wrote: How else is it supposed to traverse uneven terrain?
Regarding the point you've been making these last few posts, for a second there I was about to disagree with you on certain aspects of it, before I realized the issue was with me, not with what you're saying. When it comes to sex things my mind is so open it's basically a flat plain upon which almost anything can happen, so at first I was just like "wait, why not just do the BDSM anyway, even if they're not into it, if it makes their partner happy?" because even if it's not a kink I personally have (not that BDSM isn't my kink because it totally is ) I can still appreciate it on an anthropological level just by seeing what, specifically, about it turns on my partner. Even if I can find no arousing part of the act, it still has appeal as a curio, like fine art.
But not everyone is like me, in that respect, and I got that way through a pretty weird sexually formative period in my life. I can pretty much learn kinks, while other people can be stuck in theirs. With that in mind, I still can't imagine going into a sexual relationship with someone completely blind; even with my variable tastes I need to know what I'm getting into. Luckie and I had sex within like half an hour of being in the same physical space as one another, and that was great, but if it hadn't been then that would have been extremely useful information to have, and in either case it came on the back of countless long distance sexy times and extremely thorough accounts of where we were at, sexually. I can't imagine our first time in that hotel room going anywhere near as smoothly if I hadn't come in equipped with the knowledge of what turns her on and what doesn't.
Here's a hint: it's choking.
Cl I want to build something on what Esq is saying here. Sexual gratification is one of the major reasons that people cheat on their partners. It's because they haven't explore these aspects of themselves and they themselves may not know what they really want, sometimes not till eyars later. So you have to explore these things inn yourself and with your partner before you get married, else you have a sexually unsatisfactory marriage that will make most people cheat. So premarital sex is a good thing because it helps you grow as a individual and well, it feels fucking awesome.
Are there statistics saying that people who save sex for marriage cheat more? I may be wrong, but I'd imagine it to be the other way around.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 9:43 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 9:13 pm)Yeauxleaux Wrote: Are people really virgins until marriage in conservative Christian states though? I think not, defeats the point of getting married for sex
Have no idea why the divorce rates are so high though
I think it might be because there's more poverty there. Lower incomes have higher divorce rates.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly."
-walsh
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 9:58 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 5:39 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (August 5, 2015 at 4:33 pm)Parkers Tan Wrote: It's not a matter of not caring about the quality of the sex. It's about not making it a relationship-killer. Working on it can and does work, and there's no reason to not go that route first if you truly love her, right?
It's a subtle point, but it's valid, I think. When I love a woman, we talk about what does and doesn't work in the bedroom so that both of us may enjoy it. If after time she shows no desire to accommodate my desires as I try to accommodate hers, then sure, there will be problems. But in that case the problem is not only sexual, for me; it's about being in an unequal partnership, where one partner's wishes get more attention than the other's.
This. If I'm willing to leave and not marry the man I love because sex hadn't been amazing initially, then how can I promise him to be by his side in sickness and in health if he gets paralyzed and unable to have sex after we are married?
Well, I would not have married my wife if she were not intelligent and nice. But if she gets Alzheimer's or otherwise becomes unintelligent, I am not going to divorce her due to that.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 10:28 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 9:32 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: (August 5, 2015 at 9:08 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: Cl I want to build something on what Esq is saying here. Sexual gratification is one of the major reasons that people cheat on their partners. It's because they haven't explore these aspects of themselves and they themselves may not know what they really want, sometimes not till eyars later. So you have to explore these things inn yourself and with your partner before you get married, else you have a sexually unsatisfactory marriage that will make most people cheat. So premarital sex is a good thing because it helps you grow as a individual and well, it feels fucking awesome.
Are there statistics saying that people who save sex for marriage cheat more? I may be wrong, but I'd imagine it to be the other way around.
Not directly, but there is an abundance of evidence demonstrating that the Conservative values that lead to saving yourself for marriage lead more infedility and higher divorce.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_dira.htm
That link aptly shows that Christians of the sort that practice virginity pledges widely have the highest divorce rate. Much higher then that of atheists.
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 10:34 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 9:32 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Are there statistics saying that people who save sex for marriage cheat more? I may be wrong, but I'd imagine it to be the other way around. Right. Because how would you know your spouse is a bad lay if you had no one else with whom to compare him or her?
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 10:36 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 10:28 pm)Lemonvariable72 Wrote: That link aptly shows that Christians of the sort that practice virginity pledges widely have the highest divorce rate. Much higher then that of atheists. What about atheists that choose to remain virgins before getting married? Aren't you assuming that atheists are always sexual before marriage?
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RE: Do you care about your significant other's sexual past?
August 5, 2015 at 10:49 pm
(August 5, 2015 at 10:34 pm)ChadWooters Wrote: (August 5, 2015 at 9:32 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: Are there statistics saying that people who save sex for marriage cheat more? I may be wrong, but I'd imagine it to be the other way around. Right. Because how would you know your spouse is a bad lay if you had no one else with whom to compare him or her?
A woman who does not experience an orgasm can have a pretty good idea that her lover is not that great. Of course, it could be something wrong with her, but from what I have experienced and read and heard from others, it often is that the guy is just a bad lover.
Indeed, anyone who does not find sex to be very, very, very enjoyable, has some reason to question their lovers' abilities if they have only had one lover.
"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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