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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 5:57 am
The occupational argument - "I make a damn good living out of selling this shit to the desperate, the desolate and the ignorant. I would be screwed if God doesn't exist, therefore I'm going to fight tooth and nail to make sure nobody can prove it."
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 6:06 am
(This post was last modified: December 24, 2015 at 6:07 am by ignoramus.)
No God, No fear.
Know God, Know fear.
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 6:08 am
The argument from woeful dribblyness:
1. God would arm his followers with the most convincing evidence and arguments to reward them for their faith, in order to convince unbelieving scum like me.
2. The faithful rely on special pleading, arguments from ignorance and have no evidence at all except waving their arms about and pointing at everything.
3. Therefor, God didn't give them what he would give them if he exists.
4. So no God, or else a God who doesn't want people to believe in him.
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 11:27 am
(This post was last modified: December 24, 2015 at 11:28 am by Alex K.)
(December 24, 2015 at 5:57 am)Stimbo Wrote: The occupational argument - "I make a damn good living out of selling this shit to the desperate, the desolate and the ignorant. I would be screwed if God doesn't exist, therefore I'm going to fight tooth and nail to make sure nobody can prove it."
That may actually be one of the most persuasive ones... to the person making it at least...
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 4:38 pm
"I'm tired of facts, so I will subvert facts."
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 4:41 pm
(December 24, 2015 at 4:38 pm)Delicate Wrote: "I'm tired of facts, so I will subvert facts."
I have a better quote:
Betrand Russell Wrote:When you are studying any matter, or considering any philosophy, ask yourself only: What are the facts, and what is the truth that the facts bear out. Never let yourself be diverted, either by what you wish to believe, or by what you think would have beneficent social effects if it were believed; but look only and solely at what are the facts.
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 4:51 pm
(December 24, 2015 at 4:41 pm)Evie Wrote: (December 24, 2015 at 4:38 pm)Delicate Wrote: "I'm tired of facts, so I will subvert facts."
I have a better quote:
Betrand Russell Wrote:When you are studying any matter, or considering any philosophy, ask yourself only: What are the facts, and what is the truth that the facts bear out. Never let yourself be diverted, either by what you wish to believe, or by what you think would have beneficent social effects if it were believed; but look only and solely at what are the facts.
That quote is why Bertrand Russell would be ashamed of 21st century atheism.
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 4:56 pm
(December 24, 2015 at 4:51 pm)Delicate Wrote: That quote is why Bertrand Russell would be ashamed of 21st century atheism.
Yeah I know what you mean! (!) He'd be, like, so pissed off that 21st century atheism is non-belief in god in the 21st century... oh wait that's what it's supposed to be! Atheism is atheism is atheism is atheism.
Bill Hicks Wrote:Shut the fuck up. You're wrong. K? K.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10sxcRPhp-k
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 5:08 pm
The Benny Hinn argument
1. There are miracles because he performs them.
2. He need money for a new private jet.
3. He is anointed, so everything he says is true and he says he can perform miracles, therefore God.
4. Send me money, I'll send you holy oil or some shit.
5. money, money, money.
"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself — and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard P. Feynman
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RE: The Oncological Argument against the existence of God
December 24, 2015 at 10:17 pm
(This post was last modified: December 24, 2015 at 10:19 pm by Cyberman.)
The Benny Hill argument
I gave hope to little men wearing berets and glasses that if they slapped a pensioner's bald head repeatedly, they too could be chased around single file on undercranked camera by outraged scantily-clad page 3 'angels' to the tune of Yaketty Sax, before being unaccountably banned from British television. Therefore God.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
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