Thanks! There was a night where I fucked up one of the cuffs three times. I didn't have a seam ripper, so I used an exacto knife. By then I was tipsy and swearing and didnt' give a shit if I sliced the fabric. Apparently the whiskey helped - I got it on the fourth try.

I should make a new Youtube series: My Drunk Costume.

(November 1, 2015 at 9:13 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote:

(November 1, 2015 at 9:00 pm)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote: Your freckles are way too cute to cover with makeup TSQ! Seriously, you're lovely. Too bad you scare the shit out of me!

Great photos. Great costumes. Love me some RenFest!

Scare the shit out of you? I think that calls for an "LOL, wut?"

Sorry... just a reference to some BDSM posts. Never been my bag, and frankly it frightens me a little bit that/when people are into that. I am not hating on those who do; I'm sure my particular fetishes are no odder than anyone else's... but the idea not sharing control and/or dealing with pain just defies my entire notion of what it means to be sexual. Again, it was not meant to be anything but a playful and flirtatious remark, and does not indicate a judgment of any sort. I also know that people in those circles do not expect anyone but themselves to enjoy it, nor look down on anyone of my ilk other than to sneer at the idea of "the vanilla folk", a little bit. It was sort of my attempt to play on the "Dark Mistress" archetype... scary as hell but just that much more appealing for it. Sorry if I caused offense; these are just my own personal peccadillos!

I doubt you caused her any offence, although I could be wrong.

(November 1, 2015 at 9:32 pm)Easy Guns Wrote:

This is my "I swear I'm appealing" look.

What was the conviction?

(November 1, 2015 at 11:27 pm)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote:

(November 1, 2015 at 9:13 pm)thesummerqueen Wrote: Scare the shit out of you? I think that calls for an "LOL, wut?"

Sorry... just a reference to some BDSM posts. Never been my bag, and frankly it frightens me a little bit that/when people are into that. I am not hating on those who do; I'm sure my particular fetishes are no odder than anyone else's... but the idea not sharing control and/or dealing with pain just defies my entire notion of what it means to be sexual. Again, it was not meant to be anything but a playful and flirtatious remark, and does not indicate a judgment of any sort. I also know that people in those circles do not expect anyone but themselves to enjoy it, nor look down on anyone of my ilk other than to sneer at the idea of "the vanilla folk", a little bit. It was sort of my attempt to play on the "Dark Mistress" archetype... scary as hell but just that much more appealing for it. Sorry if I caused offense; these are just my own personal peccadillos!

Half the forum must terrify you lmao

Nah, I'm not offended. And I'm hardly the Dark Mistress - I'm a sub through and through, and while I enjoy pain I also spent a good portion of the weekend cuddled and having my hair and skin stroked. It's not all pain - there's a lot of deference and love involved.

There are a lot of misconceptions about what goes on in BDSM - and books like 50 Shades and or shows like CSI don't do much to dispel it. Yes, a lot of it is very darkly erotic, sharp as bitter chocolate, but a lot of it is also incredibly intimate and soothing.

The thrill comes from being with someone who instinctively knows how to get into your head and do things to you that manipulate you to greater sexual heights. It's like when people seek spicy foods - they like the kiss of pain that comes with it. Or people who enjoy horror movies or haunted houses - they love the adrenal response to fear. BDSM uses both. Pain makes nerves sing - they become super sensitive and a following pleasurable touch becomes all that much more because of it, or they cause your body to release the hormones that help you deal with pain, and you can end up in a euphoria, like a long-distances runner.

There is a lot of mental work you have to do to engage in it in a healthy and positive way. There have been a couple studies suggesting that those who engage in those sorts of things have much better organized emotional faculties - I suspect because they practice variations of mindfulness, over-communication, and compartmentalization.

It's fun to scare "vanilla" people with the shock and spectacle aspects of it, but only because they *like* it - the same way you might enjoy something dangerous, but brief. They get their taste and move on. Most of us are terribly normal, though, for the most part. I'd much rather make people laugh than frighten them.

(November 2, 2015 at 12:19 am)thesummerqueen Wrote:

---

Nah, I'm not offended. And I'm hardly the Dark Mistress - I'm a sub through and through, and while I enjoy pain I also spent a good portion of the weekend cuddled and having my hair and skin stroked. It's not all pain - there's a lot of deference and love involved.

There are a lot of misconceptions about what goes on in BDSM - and books like 50 Shades and or shows like CSI don't do much to dispel it. Yes, a lot of it is very darkly erotic, sharp as bitter chocolate, but a lot of it is also incredibly intimate and soothing.

The thrill comes from being with someone who instinctively knows how to get into your head and do things to you that manipulate you to greater sexual heights. It's like when people seek spicy foods - they like the kiss of pain that comes with it. Or people who enjoy horror movies or haunted houses - they love the adrenal response to fear. BDSM uses both. Pain makes nerves sing - they become super sensitive and a following pleasurable touch becomes all that much more because of it, or they cause your body to release the hormones that help you deal with pain, and you can end up in a euphoria, like a long-distances runner.

There is a lot of mental work you have to do to engage in it in a healthy and positive way. There have been a couple studies suggesting that those who engage in those sorts of things have much better organized emotional faculties - I suspect because they practice variations of mindfulness, over-communication, and compartmentalization.

It's fun to scare "vanilla" people with the shock and spectacle aspects of it, but only because they *like* it - the same way you might enjoy something dangerous, but brief. They get their taste and move on. Most of us are terribly normal, though, for the most part. I'd much rather make people laugh than frighten them.

---

yer lovely. no scare. much cute

Strong-minded independent women leave me more in awe than in shock

(November 2, 2015 at 12:19 am)thesummerqueen Wrote: Nah, I'm not offended. And I'm hardly the Dark Mistress - I'm a sub through and through, and while I enjoy pain I also spent a good portion of the weekend cuddled and having my hair and skin stroked. It's not all pain - there's a lot of deference and love involved.

There are a lot of misconceptions about what goes on in BDSM - and books like 50 Shades and or shows like CSI don't do much to dispel it. Yes, a lot of it is very darkly erotic, sharp as bitter chocolate, but a lot of it is also incredibly intimate and soothing.

The thrill comes from being with someone who instinctively knows how to get into your head and do things to you that manipulate you to greater sexual heights. It's like when people seek spicy foods - they like the kiss of pain that comes with it. Or people who enjoy horror movies or haunted houses - they love the adrenal response to fear. BDSM uses both. Pain makes nerves sing - they become super sensitive and a following pleasurable touch becomes all that much more because of it, or they cause your body to release the hormones that help you deal with pain, and you can end up in a euphoria, like a long-distances runner.

There is a lot of mental work you have to do to engage in it in a healthy and positive way. There have been a couple studies suggesting that those who engage in those sorts of things have much better organized emotional faculties - I suspect because they practice variations of mindfulness, over-communication, and compartmentalization.

It's fun to scare "vanilla" people with the shock and spectacle aspects of it, but only because they *like* it - the same way you might enjoy something dangerous, but brief. They get their taste and move on. Most of us are terribly normal, though, for the most part. I'd much rather make people laugh than frighten them.

I already understood all of that, but thank you for sharing it with me (really!) so candidly. 

Never have I read 50 Shades of Grey nor will I ever believe anything that is on shows like CSI conforms in any way to reality.

Also, I don't enjoy horror movies (I get no thrill out of them, whatsoever) or haunted houses, except out of fascination with the technical and costuming aspects of it. I do enjoy brief danger--I used to fly stunt planes and race motorcycles, for crying out loud!--but as far as I can tell it carries no sexual overtone with me to become otherwise excited or filled with adrenaline. Would that it did!

I get my sense of intimacy from words and personal expressions, and both pain and control (in either direction) will actively turn me off, even mid-stroke, so to speak. There are many things that others find sexually appealing which simply do nothing for me; I have no more judgments of them than I do of anything BDSM. I get where you're coming from about how the activities could build intimacy in people who are suited to that sort of play, psychologically; I am simply not one of those people. If anything, I'd say I'm sexually obsessed with the notion of power-equality between partners, so that the notion of control simply violates that central view of what sexuality is for me. 

And I totally get where you're coming from on the shocking the Vanillas. My favorite part of taking people to see Rocky Horror Picture Show  acted out is to see the facial expressions of people who've never seen Tim Curry dominate the screen and project raw sexuality like that, breaking every "rule" as he does so... but again, I'm unmoved by the show sexually, despite my admiration for its complete awesomeness. Breaking social barriers is the least of the reasons I adore RHPS and all it stands for.

As I said, I was mostly just trying to slide you a sideways compliment because I do think you are astoundingly attractive... even though I know that (were I single and nearby, and you were actually interested, for the sake of argument) it would be psychologically impossible for either of us to provide the other with the type of gratification they would need to be happy. I'm okay with that. Mostly. 

Evie - I agree! I love intelligent, self-confident, powerful women, though I don't place any more importance on power than on money (almost none) for its own sake; I just recognize that in a culture that tells women they cannot be powerful and still be feminine or desirable (the most ridiculous notion, or at least nearly so, of all the crap foisted on us by our Puritanical cultural heritage), I recognize that a woman who has broken those chains and defined her own path is to be admired for doing so.

Nah it's not the power thing, it's more the independence and free thinking thing that I find attractive. I also find intelligence attractive.

And above all, a great attitude.

But I'm also attracted to shy women too. There are many ways a woman can be attractive.