It’s that time of the year again. A major percentage of the world is celebrating the conclusion of a weekend in which they believe a man descended into the “heart of the earth” -- “just as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the sea monster” (Matt. 12:40) -- wherein “also He went and made proclamation to the spirits now in prison” (1 Pet. 3:19), before “He ascended on high” and “led captive a host of captives” (Eph. 4:8). Of course, descents into the netherworld were not a new innovation in mythology when these narratives were recorded towards the end of the first century. At least fifteen hundred years before Christ the Sumarian Ianna and the Akkadian Isthar were said to have visited the land of the dead before returning to life. In the former case, Ianna “was hung from a stake” and “after three days and three nights had passed” her messenger filled “the heaven with complaints for her.” Eventually, she is brought to surface accompanied by a band of demons. (In Matthew’s Gospel the situation is even more ludicrous. Its credulous author attests that in Jesus’s case “tombs were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; and coming out of the tombs after His resurrection they entered the holy city and appeared to many” (Matt. 27:52-53). Needless to say, there is no contemporary record of this event -- as it is the case with most claims made in the Gospels -- which no writer in the ancient world would have been able to ignore had it in fact occurred as later reported.)

Of course, anyone who views Jesus’s so-called biographies in light of the mythological and historical narratives available in the first and second centuries can recognize that the Gospels more properly belong in the first category. Unfortunately, too many in the modern world -- where an alarming number of supposedly educated people disbelieve in man's power to affect the climate but believe in an iron age god who will intervene in mundane private affairs if only one can muster enough faith -- appear unable to distinguish fact from fiction when reading their holy texts, not realizing that the stories and doctrines they have been taught to cherish since childhood are not original to the author(s) whom they believe responsible: “Adam and Eve in the Garden,” “the murder of Abel by Cain,” “Noah’s Deluge,” “Jonah and the giant ‘sea monster,’” and “the ‘dragon’ who is repelled from heaven” are some of the more important stories in Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, and all of these are discovered in pagan culture long before their adoption by Abrahamic story-tellers. To cite my favorite example, and the most blatant metamorphosis of a legend that I have yet uncovered in my study of religion, I give you “The Evolution of a Myth.”

First Stage: An excerpt from “The Story of Two Brothers”
Source and Date: Egyptian, 1225 BCE  (roughly)
Synopsis: Two brothers, the elder named Anubis and the younger Bata (the names of two Egyptian gods) are working in the fields, when the younger goes to fetch some supplies and is seduced by the elder’s wife. He refuses her advances but faces the wrath of his elder brother when the wife accuses Bata of sexual assault. Bata eventually cuts off his penis to show his devotion to the sun-god and prove his innocence before imposing self-exile, while Anubis kills his wife and throws her out to the dogs. By the end of the story the elder brother comes to Egypt where the younger now reigns as Pharaoh and is made “crown prince in his entire land...”

“Now [AFTER] MANY [DAYS] AFTER THIS, they were in the fields and ran short of seed. THEN HE sent his younger brother, saying: ‘Go and fetch us seed from the village.’ And his younger brother found the wife of his elder brother sitting and doing her hair. THEN HE said to her: ‘Get up and give me (some) seed, for my younger brother is waiting for me. Don't delay!’ THEN SHE said to him: ‘Go and open the bin and take what you want! Don't make me leave my combing unfinished!’ THEN the lad went into his stable, and he took a big jar, for he wanted to carry off a lot of seed. So he loaded himself with barley and emmer and came out carrying them.

“THEN SHE said to him: ‘How much (is it) that is on your shoulder?’ [And he] said to her: ‘THREE sacks of emmer, two sacks of barley, FIVE IN ALL, is what is on my shoulder.’ So he spoke to her. THEN SHE [talked with] him, saying ‘There is [great] strength in you! Now I see your energies every day!" And she wanted to know him as one knows a man.

“THEN SHE stood up and took hold of him and said to him: ‘Come, let's spend an [hour] sleeping (together)! This will do you good, because I shall make fine clothes for you!’ THEN the lad [became] like a leopard with [great] rage at the wicked suggestion which she had made to him, and she was very, very much frightened. THEN HE argued with her, saying: ‘See here—you are like a mother to me, and your husband is like a father to me! Because—being older than I—he was the one who brought me up. What is this great crime which you have said to me? Don't say it to me again! And I won't tell it to a single person, nor will I let it out of my mouth to any man!’ And he lifted up his load, and he went to the fields. THEN HE reached his elder brother, and they were busy with activity (at) their work.

“Now AT THE [TIME] OF EVENING, THEN his elder brother left off (to go) to his house. And his younger brother tended his cattle, and [he] loaded himself with everything of the fields, and he took his cattle in front of him, to let them sleep (in) their stable which was in the village. But the wife of his elder brother was afraid (because of) the suggestion which she had made. THEN SHE took fat and grease, and she became like one who has been criminally beaten, wanting to tell her husband: ‘It was your younger brother who did the beating!’ And her husband left off in the evening, after his custom of every day, and he reached his house, and he found his wife lying down, terribly sick. She did not put water on his hands, after his custom, nor had she lit a light before him, and his house was in darkness, and she lay (there) vomiting. So her husband said to her: ‘Who has been talking with you?’ Then she said to him: ‘Not one person has been talking with me except your younger brother. But when he came [to] take the seed to you he found me sitting alone, and he said to me: “Come, let's spend an hour sleeping (together)! Put on your curls!” So he spoke to me. But I wouldn't listen to him: “Aren't I your mother?—for your elder brother is like a father to you!” So I spoke to him. But he was afraid, and he beat (me), so as not to let me tell you. Now, if you let him live, I'll kill myself! Look, when he comes, don't [let him speak], for, if I accuse (him of) this wicked suggestion, he will be ready to do it tomorrow (again)!’”

Second Stage: An excerpt from Genesis 39, “Joseph and Potiphar’s Wife”
Source and Date: Hebrew, 6th/5th century BCE
Synopsis: The biblical story of Joseph and his brothers’ betrayal is one the more popular tales in the book of Genesis; Jacob’s second to youngest son is sold into slavery in Egypt, and Joseph, a Hebrew, goes to live with a man named Potiphar and his wife. In this narrative Joseph plays the role of Bata but instead of the wife’s actions resulting in his self-exile, Joseph is placed into prison. With the addition of some innovative plot twists which involve an ability to foretell the future through dreams, Joseph ends up serving under the Pharaoh and welcomes his family, including his detestable brothers, into Egypt’s dominion, similar to Bata’s welcoming of Anubis.

“Now Joseph had been taken down to Egypt; and Potiphar, an Egyptian officer of Pharaoh, the captain of the bodyguard, bought him from the Ishmaelites, who had taken him down there. The Lord was with Joseph, so he became a successful man. And he was in the house of his master, the Egyptian. Now his master saw that the Lord was with him and how the Lord caused all that he did to prosper in his hand. So Joseph found favor in his sight and became his personal servant; and he made him overseer over his house, and all that he owned he put in his charge. It came about that from the time he made him overseer in his house and over all that he owned, the Lord blessed the Egyptian’s house on account of Joseph; thus the Lord’s blessing was upon all that he owned, in the house and in the field. So he left everything he owned in Joseph’s charge; and with him there he did not concern himself with anything except the food which he ate.

“Now Joseph was handsome in form and appearance. It came about after these events that his master’s wife looked with desire at Joseph, and she said, ‘Lie with me.’ But he refused and said to his master’s wife, ‘Behold, with me here, my master does not concern himself with anything in the house, and he has put all that he owns in my charge. There  is no one greater in this house than I, and he has withheld nothing  from me except you, because you are his wife. How then could I do this  great evil and sin against God?’ As she spoke to Joseph day after day, he did not listen to her to lie beside her or be with her. Now it happened one day that he went into the house to do his work, and none of the men of the household was there inside. She caught him by his garment, saying, ‘Lie with me!’ And he left his garment in her hand and fled, and went outside. When she saw that he had left his garment in her hand and had fled outside, she called to the men of her household and said to them, ‘See, he has brought in a Hebrew to us to make sport of us; he came in to me to lie with me, and I screamed. When he heard that I raised my voice and screamed, he left his garment beside me and fled and went outside.’ So she left his garment beside her until his master came home. Then she spoke to him with these words, ‘The Hebrew slave, whom you brought to us, came in to me to make sport of me; and as I raised my voice and screamed, he left his garment beside me and fled outside.’”

Third Stage: An excerpt from the 12th Sura of the Qur’an, “Yusuf (Joseph)”
Source and Date: Arabic, first half of the 7th century, CE
Synopsis: The Islamic version of this tale follows closely on the heels of its Jewish predecessor, with a few noticeable differences. While neither “Potiphar” nor his wife are named (“Potiphar” is simply called “the Aziz,” which in Arabic means “powerful, cherished, beloved” and is one of the 99 names used of Allah), the latter takes a much more prominent role in the narrative. Yusuf, who in the original story attracted attention due to his “great strength” at carrying five sacks on his shoulder, is portrayed in the Qur’an as a “noble angel” whose beauty causes all of the women in Egypt to lose their senses in his presence. In fact, in this account he is found vindicated of the accusations hurled at him by the Aziz’s wife, but the Aziz’s hand is forced and he imprisons Yusuf anyway because the Hebrew is just too damn handsome.

“The man in Egypt who bought him, said to his wife: ‘Make his stay  (among us) honourable: may be he will bring us much good, or we shall  adopt him as a son.’  Thus did We establish Joseph in the land, that We  might teach him the interpretation of stories (and events). And Allah hath full power and control over His affairs; but most among mankind know it not.
When Joseph attained His full manhood, We gave him power and knowledge: thus do We reward those who do right.
“But she in whose house he was, sought to  seduce him from his (true) self: she fastened the doors, and said: ‘Now  come, thou (dear one)!’ He said: ‘(Allah) forbid! truly (thy husband)  is my lord! he made my sojourn agreeable! truly to no good come those who do wrong!’
“And (with passion) did she desire him, and he would have desired her, but that he saw the evidence of his Lord:  thus (did We order) that We might turn away from him (all) evil and  shameful deeds: for he was one of Our servants, sincere and purified.
“So they both raced each other to the door, and she tore his shirt from the back: they both found her lord near the  door. She said: ‘What is the (fitting) punishment for one who formed an  evil design against thy wife, but prison or a grievous chastisement?’
“He said: ‘It was she that sought to seduce  me - from my (true) self.’ And one of her household saw (this) and bore  witness, (thus):- ‘If it be that his shirt is rent from the front, then is her tale true, and he is a liar!
“‘But if it be that his shirt is torn from the back, then is she the liar, and he is telling the truth!’
“So when he saw his shirt,- that it was torn  at the back,- (her husband) said: ‘Behold! It is a snare of you women!  truly, mighty is your snare!
“‘O Joseph, pass this over! (O wife), ask forgiveness for thy sin, for truly thou hast been at fault!’”

Final Stage: An excerpt from Jami’s eight thousand line poem, “Yusuf and Zulaikha”
Source and Date: Persian, 1483 CE
Synopsis: By the time the Persian poet Jami wrote his classic romance, the wife in the Qur’anic story -- now known as “Zulaikha” -- had acquired a dynamic backstory of her own. In fact, Zulaikha is the central character in this tale of love. It begins with a dream in which she sees a man of unparalleled beauty. She immediately falls head over heels and spends the rest of her life trying to locate and attain the figure of her divine vision. This leads her to Egypt, where she mistakenly weds the “the Grand Vizier,” a eunuch whom is most certainly not the man she had believed him to be. When Yusuf arrives in the land as a slave, she convinces her husband to purchase him, outbidding all of the other competitors. She spends the ensuing years doing everything in her power to seduce Yusuf but repeatedly fails. Similar to the narrative in the Qur’an, Yusuf is found innocent of Zulaikha’s designs, but she has him imprisoned anyway due to the love-sickness that only he can alleviate yet continually refuses. Finally, at the end of the story, the Grand Vizier dies, Yusuf is appointed an official in the Pharaoh’s kingdom, and Zulaikha - the wife whom Anubis had thrown to the dogs in the original story -- is betrothed to her lover. The following scene, developed from the previous excerpts, occurs in Zulaikha’s elaborate palace which she has had specially constructed for the sole purpose of wooing Yusuf.

“‘Master this passion, Zulaikha,’ [Yusuf] cried;
‘Turn from thy folly, oh, turn aside.
Wilt thou not strive for the wished-for goal?
Wilt thou abandon the aim of thy soul?’
She fancied his heart was relenting; she thought
His love would give her the bliss she sought.
The gleaming steel on the ground she threw,
And hope sprang up in her breast anew.
She sugared his lip with a touch of her own:
One arm was his collar and one his zone.
With a long sweet kiss on his lips she hung,
And an eager arm round his neck was flung.

“One nook of the chamber was dark with the shade
Of a curtain that glittered with gold brocade.
And Yusuf questioned her: ‘What or who
Is behind the curtain concealed from view?’
‘It is he,’ she answered, ‘to whom, while I live,
My faithful service I still must give:
A golden idol with jewelled eyes
A salver of musk in his bosom lies.
I bend before him each hour of the day,
And my head at his feet in due worship lay.
Before his presence this screen I drew
To be out of the reach of his darkened view.
If I swerve from religion I would not be
Where the angry eyes of my god may see.’
And Yiisuf cried with a bitter cry:
‘Not a mite of the gold of thy faith have I.
Thine eye is abashed before those that are dead,
And shrinks from the sight of the lifeless in dread.
And God Almighty shall I not fear,
Who liveth and seeth and ever is near?’

“He ceased: from the fond dream of rapture he woke;
From the arms of Zulaikha he struggled and broke.
With hasty feet from her side he sped,
And burst open each door on his way as he fled.
Bolt and bar from the stanchions he drew
All opened before him as onward he flew.
Of his lifted finger a key was made,
Which every lock at a sign obeyed.
But Zulaikha caught him, with steps more fast,
Or ever the farthest chamber he passed.
She clutched his skirt as he fled amain,
And the coat from his shoulder was rent in twain.
Reft of his garment he slipped from her hand
Like a bud from its sheath when the leaves expand.
She rent her robe in her anguish; low
On the earth, like a shadow, she lay in her woe.
A bitter cry from her heart she sent,
And uttered these words in her wild lament:
‘Ah, woe is me for my luckless fate!
He has left my heart empty and desolate.
Ah, that the game from my net should slip!
Ah, that the honey should mock my lip!
A spider once, I have heard them say,
Went forth in its hunger to hunt for prey.
On a bough a falcon had taken her stand,
Who had fled from her rest on a royal hand.
The spider would weave round her wings a snare
To hinder her flight through the fields of air.
It laboured long on this toil intent
Till all the fine threads of its store were spent.
At length the falcon her pinions spread,
And the spider had naught but the broken thread.
I am that spider: I weep and moan,
The single hope of my heart o'erthrown.
The vein of my heart is the broken thread,
And the bird whom I hoped to ensnare is fled.
Each tie to my life is now broken in twain,
And the severed ends in my hand remain.’"

“THE pen that has written this tale relates,
That when Yusuf fled through the palace gates,
Soon as his foot in the court was set,
The Grand Vizier and his lords he met.
The master looked on his troubled face
And questioned him wherefore he fled apace.
Yusuf was ready with apt reply,
And with courteous words put the question by.
The Grand Vizier took his hand in his own,
And they came where Zulaikha sate brooding alone,
She saw them together, and cried, dismayed,
To her own sad spirit, ‘Betrayed! betrayed!’
Moved by the fancy, in loud lament,
The veil of the secret she raised and rent:
‘Balance of Justice, what sentence is due
To him who to folly thy wife would woo ?
And, false to his duty, has plotted within
The folds of his treason a deed of sin?’
‘Speak, fairest one, speak: let thy tale be clear,
‘Who has thus dared?’ said the Grand Vizier.
‘The Hebrew servant,’ she cried, ‘has done
This thing, whom thy favour has made a son.
Freed from the trouble and toil of the day,
Here in my chamber asleep I lay,
He came to the bed where alone I repose,
And would pluck the flower of the spotless rose;
But the hand of the robber my slumber broke,
With a start and a cry from my rest I woke.
He started in fear when I raised my head,
And swift to the door of the chamber fled.
He fled amain, but I followed fast
And caught him ere yet from the palace he passed.
I caught his garment, my strength outspent,
And it split as the leaf of a rose is rent.
The garment he wears on his shoulders view,
And see that the words which I speak are true.
Now were it best for a little time
To send him to prison to mourn his crime;
Or let the sharp lash on his tender skin
Cure the wild boy of his wish to sin.
Let the scourge be heavy, the pain severe,
That others in time may be warned and fear.’
The Grand Vizier in amazement heard:
His visage changed and his heart was stirred,
From the path of justice he turned aside,
And his tongue was a sword of rebuke as he cried:
‘Treasures of pearl and of gold I gave,
When J weighed out my jewels to purchase my slave.
I made thee my son of mine own free grace,
And gave thee beside me an honoured place.
I gave thee Zukaikha for guardian to tend
Thy youth with her maidens and be thy friend.
The slaves of my household obeyed thy will;
They were gentle in speech and ne'er wished thee ill.
I made thee lord over all that I had,
And never would suffer thy heart to be sad.
A folly and sin was this thought of thine:
May God forgive thee the base design.
In this evil world, full of grief and woe,
Kindness responsive to kindness we owe.
But thou, all my love and my trust betrayed,
My tender affection with ill hast repaid.
Thou hast broken the bond which the meal had tied,
And the pledge which the salt had sanctified.’

“At the wrathful words of the Grand Vizier
He shrank like a hair when the flame is near.
He cried to his master: ‘How long, how long
Wilt thou burthen the guiltless with cruel wrong ?
False is the tale that Zulaikha has told:
Her lie is a lamp when the flame is cold.
From the man's left side came the woman. Who
Will hope that the left will be right and true?
From the day Zulaikha beheld me first,
A frantic passion her heart has nursed.
About me ever she comes and goes,
And with soft allurement her fancy shows.
But ne'er have I lifted mine eye to her face,
Ne'er have I looked for a kiss or embrace.
Who am I, thy servant, that I should be
The tempter of her who is sacred to thee?
From earthly wealth I had turned away,
To the pangs of exile my heart was a prey.
A word from Zuliakha bade doors unclose,
And opened a way to a hundred woes.
She called me hither her spells were sweet
And drew me aside to this lone retreat.
With passionate pleading her love she pressed,
And made my bosom a stranger to rest.
By many a bar for awhile detained,
The gate of the palace at length I gained.
She followed fast as I fled, and tore
Behind from the shoulder the coat I wore.
This is the story I have to tell:
This, only this and no more, befell.
If thou wilt not believe I am free from guilt,
In the name of Allah do what thou wilt.’

“Zulaikha heard, and in self-defence
Called Heaven to witness her innocence.
She swore an oath on each sacred thing,
By the throne, and the crown, and the head of the king,
By the rank and state of the Grand Vizier
Whom the monarch honoured and held so dear.
When trouble and doubt in a suit arise,
An oath the place of a witness supplies.
But ah, how oft, when the truth is known,
Has the shameless lie of that oath been shown!
Then she cried, as her tears in a torrent ran:
‘From Yusuf only the folly began.’
Tears, ever ready to flow, supply
Oil for the lamp of a woman's lie.
Ted with this oil the flame waxes in power
And destroys a whole world in one little hour.
The oath of Zulaikha, the sob, the tear,
Shut the blinded eye of the Grand Vizier.
He gave a sergeant his order, like
The strings of a lute the boy's heart to strike,
That the vein of his soul might be racked with pain,
And no trace of compassion or mercy remain;
That the boy should be lodged in the prison till
They had thoroughly fathomed the secret ill.”

Did you want me to read that?

(March 26, 2016 at 8:41 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Did you want me to read that?

Not in particular, no.

(March 26, 2016 at 9:15 pm)Mudhammam Wrote:

(March 26, 2016 at 8:41 pm)mh.brewer Wrote: Did you want me to read that?

Not in particular, no.

Just as well.

Boru

TL;DR

*scroll, scroll, scroll, scroll*

''Holy fuck."

*Scroll, scroll, scroll*

So, was this straight copypasta from some 3rd party source, or something you wrote in some text editor and then pasted here? Because the atrocious font/formatting is a dead giveaway.

(March 26, 2016 at 10:59 pm)KevinM1 Wrote: So, was this straight copypasta from some 3rd party source, or something you wrote in some text editor and then pasted here? Because the atrocious font/formatting is a dead giveaway.

I wrote it. The excerpts themselves are copied from another source, of course.

Also, for those uninterested in (or rather, whining about) reading the original texts to note how the dramatic scene evolved over the centuries, I included a brief synopsis of each one.

Yeah, sorry, too much for me to read when I have more important things to do.

Oh, by the way, the title of the thread reminds me of Joseph Campbell. Is that your source?