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I am Jesus
#91
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 3:52 pm)Faith No More Wrote: Why is Jesus wasting time trolling Internet forums instead of going out and using his superpowers to cure some kid's cancer or something?

Or at least turning water into a yummy West Coast IPA.
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
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#92
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 12:26 pm)Alex K Wrote: Forget Jesus!

LISTEN TO ME, RAMTHASHAKRA KRISHNA, THE QUANTUM WAVE OF BEINGNESS, THE ASCENDED LIGHT!

Oh Blessed Quantum, come to save us from the wiles of the evil Negatron.

Higgs be his name. Enter his holy particle collider and be transformed, oh ye photons
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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#93
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 12:52 pm)robvalue Wrote: Wait, is this thread funny? I'm confused. But then I'm always confused.
If you're laughing, giggling, chuckling or otherwise emitting forceful staccato sounds usually associated with humor, that will be your first clue.
The god who allows children to be raped out of respect for the free will choice of the rapist, but punishes gay men for engaging in mutually consensual sex couldn't possibly be responsible for an intelligently designed universe.

I may defend your right to free speech, but i won't help you pass out flyers.

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities.
--Voltaire

Nietzsche isn't dead. How do I know he lives? He lives in my mind.
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#94
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 3:18 pm)Jenny A Wrote: So. . . when I was pre-teen there were a couple guys in my home town who claimed to be Jesus.  It was the sixties then, and they didn't live in town at the same time, but they both wore their hair long, were shod in sandals, and proclaimed themselves the second coming. They were a little odd, as Jesus dressed in clothes contemporary to his time period not David's.  And I never read Jesus was against baths.  But they had disciples.   Do you have disciples?   Because until you can show you have some disciples,  I think the 1960s hippies have got you beat.

I do have a miracle request though, can you translate your previous posts into German, French, Portuguese,  Spanish, Arabic,  Greek, Ancient Greek, Gaelic,  and Cantonese,  well enough to convince native speakers you are one of them?  How about Navaho, do you speak Navaho?  Finnish?  Perhaps Persian.   Because god would speak them all.
The original Jesus said that he only cared about the Jews.  He's going to have to modify the golden cube if he now wants to include Gentiles.
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#95
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 8:41 am)Hmmm? Wrote: Jesus, 

What are your thoughts on David? (Mat 22:42Mar 12:35Luk 20:41)

...and why did you want us to read what he did? (Mar 2:25, Mat 12:3, Luk 6:3


"David" built his house out of stone.  The mist descended, the showers poured, the wind whistled, the lightening crashed, and attacked his home. His home did not collapse, it was founded on stone.

 

 
A kind heart does not let their pet starve to death nor should they let a fellow human suffer and die in this manner. How can these same priests rant about long repetitive prayers? They babble with their many words and sit in their high seats. They are worshiped as Gods. Their day will come.

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#96
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 8:41 am)Hmmm? Wrote: Jesus, 

What are your thoughts on David? (Mat 22:42Mar 12:35Luk 20:41)

...and why did you want us to read what he did? (Mar 2:25, Mat 12:3, Luk 6:3


"David" built his house out of stone.  The mist descended, the showers poured, the wind whistled, the lightening crashed, and attacked his home. His home did not collapse, it was founded on stone.

 
A kind heart does not let their pet starve to death nor should they let a fellow human suffer and die in this manner. How can these same priests rant about long repetitive prayers? They babble with their many words and sit in their high seats. They are worshiped as Gods. Their day will come.
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#97
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 6:24 pm)Love333 Wrote: "Jesus,
What are your thoughts on David? (Mat 22:42, Mar 12:35, Luk 20:41)
...and why did you want us to read what he did? (Mar 2:25, Mat 12:3, Luk 6:3) "



"David" built his house out of stone.  The mist descended, the showers poured, the wind whistled, the lightening crashed, and attacked his home. His home did not collapse, it was founded on stone.

A kind heart does not let their pet starve to death nor should they let a fellow human suffer and die in this manner. How can these same priests rant about long repetitive prayers? They babble with their many words and sit in their high seats. They are worshiped as Gods. Their day will come. This is why I am also your equal. I do not sit on a throne.

Oh, you're back! Albeit, talking to yourself...

Could you please answer my questions now?

(May 11, 2016 at 3:08 am)The_Empress Wrote: I've always wondered: would you call yourself a "Christian"?

Do you have scars where you got nailed in?

How does it feel to be a third of a being? Or something...

Since you're back, does that mean the Christians are finally being raptured? If so, thanks for that.

Is there any way you could add a beer trick to your hat? Weed? You could call it "Insta-juana".

Anyway, just some stuff.
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
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#98
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 5:28 pm)Wyrd of Gawd Wrote:
(May 11, 2016 at 3:18 pm)Jenny A Wrote: So. . . when I was pre-teen there were a couple guys in my home town who claimed to be Jesus.  It was the sixties then, and they didn't live in town at the same time, but they both wore their hair long, were shod in sandals, and proclaimed themselves the second coming. They were a little odd, as Jesus dressed in clothes contemporary to his time period not David's.  And I never read Jesus was against baths.  But they had disciples.   Do you have disciples?   Because until you can show you have some disciples,  I think the 1960s hippies have got you beat.

I do have a miracle request though, can you translate your previous posts into German, French, Portuguese,  Spanish, Arabic,  Greek, Ancient Greek, Gaelic,  and Cantonese,  well enough to convince native speakers you are one of them?  How about Navaho, do you speak Navaho?  Finnish?  Perhaps Persian.   Because god would speak them all.
The original Jesus said that he only cared about the Jews.  He's going to have to modify the golden cube if he now wants to include Gentiles.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLCSVjHKQjk


The last Jesus also knew that the father of the Jews was Satan. Yet he also loved them as I also do.
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#99
RE: I am Jesus
(May 11, 2016 at 3:45 am)Love333 Wrote:
(May 11, 2016 at 3:21 am)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote: Actually, no, Joshua was the real name, in English, or Yeshua in Hebrew. Jesus is a Greek name, and since most of the New Testament was written in Greek, he got called that.

You are quick to disagree. Yet so slow to agree with others. Would it make any difference if the last Christ was known as Joshua, John, Jesus, or Job?

They are all collections of the same story yet they are incomplete.

I don't much care about Jesus' real name, but I happen to know that God's real name is Harold Wisart. Even a prayer about it:

'Our Father, Wisart in Heaven / Harold be thy name...'

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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RE: I am Jesus
So how many Jesus's have there been?
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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