(July 8, 2016 at 9:13 am)robvalue Wrote: I really don't agree you can choose to be content.

Why would anyone choose not to be? I wish I could feel content. It's pretty rare that I do.

It is very naive but it can feel compelling if your life experience hasn't convinced you otherwise.  Good argument on your part though.

(July 8, 2016 at 10:25 am)Whateverist the White Wrote:

(July 8, 2016 at 9:13 am)robvalue Wrote: I really don't agree you can choose to be content.

Why would anyone choose not to be? I wish I could feel content. It's pretty rare that I do.

It is very naive but it can feel compelling if your life experience hasn't convinced you otherwise.  Good argument on your part though.

What type of life experiences would prevent you from choosing to be content? I'm not being argumentative, just wondering what you mean.

I'm talking about the naive perception that being happy is a choice. When you've experienced an inability to be happy in life in spite of your great to desire to be and have exhausted every means you can think of to no avail, only then will you realize it isn't a choice. When everything is going fine it is easy to be fooled.

(July 8, 2016 at 12:27 pm)Whateverist the White Wrote: I'm talking about the naive perception that being happy is a choice.  When you've experienced an inability to be happy in life in spite of your great to desire to be and have exhausted every means you can think of to no avail, only then will you realize it isn't a choice.  When everything is going fine it is easy to be fooled.

Then your problem seems to be with the pursuit of happiness. My point is you should pursue being content and happiness will follow. Of course you probably can't be content if basic needs are not getting met, but after that, it is a choice. Villagers in Aftrica in a hut can be content and therefore happy.

Significant loss (death of family or something like that) could be an impediment to being content but I think long term you could be content.

(July 8, 2016 at 10:24 am)SteveII Wrote:

(July 8, 2016 at 9:30 am)robvalue Wrote: I'm suicidally depressed. If you're going to tell me I should just choose not to be, then I think you need to do some more research.

You can work towards the states of mind you mention, but you can't flip them like a switch. Sometimes you can't flip them at all.

I would not say such a thing. Depression is an entirely different matter and a therapist should help you work through those issues. All my comments were geared toward people without special circumstances like that (so my opinion hasn't changed).

Everyone's circumstances are different. Every person is different. I think you're making meaningless blanket statements. Everyone can work towards happiness. But you seem to be suggesting there's a subsection of the population that can just choose to be happy as easy as not, because you feel there's nothing stopping them.

(July 8, 2016 at 1:01 pm)robvalue Wrote:

(July 8, 2016 at 10:24 am)SteveII Wrote: I would not say such a thing. Depression is an entirely different matter and a therapist should help you work through those issues. All my comments were geared toward people without special circumstances like that (so my opinion hasn't changed).

Everyone's circumstances are different. Every person is different. I think you're making meaningless blanket statements. Everyone can work towards happiness. But you seem to be suggesting there's a subsection of the population that can just choose to be happy as easy as not, because you feel there's nothing stopping them.

You keep referring to "pursuing happiness". Define happiness.

Quote:Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. Happy mental states may also reflect judgements by a person about their overall well-being.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happiness

Maybe you personally can simply choose to be content. But I think you're making a seriously naive/oversimplified statement about people in general to project it any further.

Being content is a reaction to circumstances. Now, you can work on your own parameters for contentment, sure. But you seem to be suggesting some sort of Control Panel where you just slide things around.

(July 8, 2016 at 12:27 pm)Whateverist the White Wrote: I'm talking about the naive perception that being happy is a choice.  When you've experienced an inability to be happy in life in spite of your great to desire to be and have exhausted every means you can think of to no avail, only then will you realize it isn't a choice.  When everything is going fine it is easy to be fooled

There's certainly some truth to this.  However, much of the unhappiness people feel is self-inflicted.  I don't know if you can choose to be happy, other than making a choice to take drugs.  But it's certainly possible for most people to remove many of the self-imposed impediments to their happiness: unreasonable expectations, poor health due to drinking or other unhealthy lifestyle choices, the refusal to feel happy until I've achieved arbitrary goal "X."

Now, if someone is in severe emotional, mental or physical pain, happiness is probably going to be very difficult to achieve.  That's a completely different story.

Sure, I agree you can consciously make yourself less happy. (As far as such a notion makes sense.) And make it harder for yourself to be happy. Although again, not instantly. Unless you do something really dumb to yourself I guess.

I mean you don't suddenly decide you need X or else you'll be miserable, any more than you can suddenly not need X and be happy.