(October 2, 2016 at 12:54 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote: Yeah, I am a part time Dungeon master. My suggestion is to not be too strict about the rules. Start out by playing with a simple set of rules and ignore the more minute details until you are more into the game.  Just play loosely and and have fun, and the more that you get into it, the more you can incorporate more complexity of the game. Also they make pre written adventures, you can find tons online. It's a good idea to have your husband read one to get an idea of how to write an adventure.

He says he used to DM before I met him.  He likes rules, but we aren't getting too detailed, considering we have a 9 year old playing.  I have no problem with his rules, actually.

Also, he already has an adventure he picked, and we are using.  Having an adventure to follow isn't a problem we are having at all, our adventure is actually pretty cool and going well, though we aren't too far into it yet.  I'm having fun with that part.  It's just my character that I am not fond of (now).

(October 2, 2016 at 2:26 pm)Aroura Wrote:

(October 2, 2016 at 12:54 pm)CapnAwesome Wrote: Yeah, I am a part time Dungeon master. My suggestion is to not be too strict about the rules. Start out by playing with a simple set of rules and ignore the more minute details until you are more into the game.  Just play loosely and and have fun, and the more that you get into it, the more you can incorporate more complexity of the game. Also they make pre written adventures, you can find tons online. It's a good idea to have your husband read one to get an idea of how to write an adventure.

He says he used to DM before I met him.  He likes rules, but we aren't getting too detailed, considering we have a 9 year old playing.  I have no problem with his rules, actually.

Also, he already has an adventure he picked, and we are using.  Having an adventure to follow isn't a problem we are having at all, our adventure is actually pretty cool and going well, though we aren't too far into it yet.  I'm having fun with that part.  It's just my character that I am not fond of (now).

The thing with characters that I've found is that the details aren't really that important, race, class, skills etc.  That's not the important part of a character. The important part is adopting another personality. Whether or not your an elf or human or whatever should come secondary to background and personality traits that you encorporate into the character. Trying to get too exotic is also limiting rather then expanding. With new players, I normally just suggest they all be humans and either a mage, fighter or thief. That way streamlines the complicated process of making a character. I've also just had pre-made character sheets ready for people, i.e. "You can be Thedor the Paladin if you want" and often times those people end up having the most fun, because they have to adapt to the personality of a character rather then just making their character like a magical version of themselves.

One reason it takes people ages to make a character is the reluctance to just play a human fighter on their first go. A human fighter is just as interesting as anything else if you incorporate an interesting personality into them and it takes all the hassle out of creating a character.

Unlike your husband though, I would never tell a player that they can't play a certain character. That's not the job of the DM. The DM controls the setting and NPCs and the player controls the character. A good campaign doesn't have any crossover. A good DM should be able to incorporate whatever character the person chooses into their world, although sometimes players make that extremely difficult for the DM. I think you need to cut your husband a little slack though. Being a DM is hard, by far the more difficult part of D&D and players rarely consider the world the DM has created when making a character and yet expect the DM to accommodate whatever background story they've made even if it sometime directly contradicts with parts of the world. Rather then saying 'your character doesn't fit my world' your husband should take that as an opportunity to make interesting role playing. For example I run what would be called a 'low magic campaign' and sometimes players want to make hyper-magical characters. Rather then say no, I use it as an opportunity for interesting role playing and those players might find themselves surrounded by a mob of peasants yelling 'burn the witch' and have to hide their magical abilities. So your husband should be aware that contradictions to his world (which he's probably spent many many many hours creating) are an opportunity rather then a burden. Most player don't consider the setting at all, and in fact design the character for some imaginary setting that they've made in their head. The same way that a DM is not in control of the players, the player is not in control of the setting and if you expect your husband to conform his setting to your player, you should at least have the same courtesey of thinking about the setting when making a character.

Of course I'm an excellent DM, I've never had a complaint from a player about anything really. Also everybody needs to relax about the rules and mechanics of the games. Really a player doesn't have any say over game mechanics, but a DM should also be fairly relaxed about it otherwise it's just too much like homework and less like a game.

Also I know you are playing with a child, but have you considered Alcohol? For me, D&D is almost a drinking game. Your husband might loosen up about the rules and characters a little with a couple of drinks in him.

Note: I do get the thing with names though from your husbands point of view though. I can't stand nonsensical names. It's the only rule I have for characters, just pick a realistic name, like something you'd hear in Game of Thrones (but not obviously copying a name directly). I mean if the setting is a realm full of demons and your character's name is "Sparkle Toes" it just doesn't mesh at all. I had a player try to name his character 'Bad Dog' once. What parent names their kid 'Bad Dog'? Also it probably seems trivial, but as a DM I have to say the characters names constantly and it is sometimes a constant reminder that someone 'isn't taking the game seriously' It's also annoying when the other characters have all chosen good fantasy names and you have to go "Okay Jezabel, what do you do? Okay and Theodor, what do you do? Okay......Sparkle Toes....your turn." It's pretty much a slap in the face to the DM and the other players. My personal DM pet peeve.

The names were Cora for the witch, and Gwen for the Magus. It's not like they were crazy names.  Or even difficult ones!'
He just didn't want me to pick a new name for the Magus, and to keep using Cora.  I told him, CORA was my human witch, and not the name of a half-elf Magus.

Nothing about being nonsensical.  He just wanted me to keep using the witches name, but to me, the name is part of the roleplay, and that name belonged to a different character.

My human witch was from the part of the world he told me the campaign was in.  She had a background HE APPROVED before we started playing.
He approved her as we went along.  I consulted him constantly.  I read the geography and local history of the area, my witch was from a very local tribe, with a history that worked easily into the story he is using.  He went out on a limb to make a Tiefling.  My character not fitting had nothing to do with it.  He just has control issues.  He wanted me to ROLEPLAY a certain way.  I never even wanted to do this shit with him, he's an utter control freak, and I already know that.  Playing MMo's with him for years, I just avoid playing with him anymore. If we play the same game, we never even group, because he will end up just yelling and throwing shit.

But after he spent $400 on a tabletop game, I kinda had to do my best to try and make it work, because that was our ENTIRE SUMMER VACATION MONEY.  I did EVERYTHING HE AKSED AND MORE, and he still threw it in the garbage.  I CANNOT WIN.

Sorry, this is personal.  I probably shouldn't be posting about it here, and you shouldn't be assuming I made all these newb mistakes.  I've been roleplaying as long as he has.  

I'd really like to just delete this entire thread at this point.

(October 3, 2016 at 6:50 pm)Aroura Wrote: The names were Cora for the witch, and Gwen for the Magus. IT's not like they were crazy names.  Or even difficult ones!
He just didn't want me to pick a new name for the Magus, and to keep using Cora.  I told him, CORA was my human witch, and not the name of a half-elf Magus.

Nothing about being nonsensical.  He just wanted me to keep using the witches name, but to me, the name is part of the roleplay, and that name belonged to a different character.

I don't really understand the importance of that demand, and I've ran several games before. I've had to step in the way of a few ideas, but nothing this trivial.

Random tangent here, but does anyone play online on sites like roll20? I prefer to play in person, but I'm always curious about my other options as well.

(October 3, 2016 at 6:50 pm)Aroura Wrote: The names were Cora for the witch, and Gwen for the Magus. It's not like they were crazy names.  Or even difficult ones!'
He just didn't want me to pick a new name for the Magus, and to keep using Cora.  I told him, CORA was my human witch, and not the name of a half-elf Magus.

Nothing about being nonsensical.  He just wanted me to keep using the witches name, but to me, the name is part of the roleplay, and that name belonged to a different character.

My human witch was from the part of the world he told me the campaign was in.  She had a background HE APPROVED before we started playing.
He approved her as we went along.  I consulted him constantly.  I read the geography and local history of the area, my witch was from a very local tribe, with a history that worked easily into the story he is using.  He went out on a limb to make a Tiefling.  My character not fitting had nothing to do with it.  He just has control issues.  He wanted me to ROLEPLAY a certain way.  I never even wanted to do this shit with him, he's an utter control freak, and I already know that.  Playing MMo's with him for years, I just avoid playing with him anymore. If we play the same game, we never even group, because he will end up just yelling and throwing shit.

But after he spent $400 on a tabletop game, I kinda had to do my best to try and make it work, because that was our ENTIRE SUMMER VACATION MONEY.  I did EVERYTHING HE AKSED AND MORE, and he still threw it in the garbage.  I CANNOT WIN.

Sorry, this is personal.  I probably shouldn't be posting about it here, and you shouldn't be assuming I made all these newb mistakes.  I've been roleplaying as long as he has.  

I'd really like to just delete this entire thread at this point.

I wasn't assuming anything. Just talking about past experiences about being a DM. If you want to keep playing D&D (or Pathfinder) and not waste that money, you can always do it with other people.