I must say my faith in god gradually dwindled until I finally admitted to myself I had been indoctrinated through:
fear, shame, and guilt into being christian from a tender age.

However...your "true colors" sort of just lay dormant until the match goes off.
I finally had to be honest with myself:
I don't care about the bible, I don't care about god, I don't believe in Jesus.
I've skimmed the other religions but the problem is "faith".

I had no faith in myself so I placed it in some vague entity that does not exist in order to avoid responsibility for the way my life was, my emotions, and allowing people to control my life...to further avoid responsibility. 
Spirituality was an escape route for a while but it didn't solve the problem. 
Yeah, keep leaving it up to god and see how that works out for you.

Plus...90% of the things I am ashamed of in myself were/are due to religious upbringing.

If I had never read the bible I would be a much happier person but it's not too late to cultivate true inner peace and self acceptance without resorting to superstition, karma, and other silly notions of "otherworldly beings" out to help or hurt me.
I can't continue lying to myself about the real reason I "prayed" to god.

Welcome Laura.

Which one (sect) did you open your eyes to?

Welcome. What part of the world are you in?

Hello Laura, welcome

My congratulations on fighting out of your indoctrination. It sounds like a great many shackles have been shaken off.

Welcome aboard, dear.  This is the place to get well.

We even have a few theists to serve as bad examples.

I would say religion often provokes peoples by calling them "sefish pigs" who dont wish to do much good. So, people cling to religion believing that they are "fighting the good fight" and eagerly seek to spread the "good news" to other because they are "wasting their life on greed and lust".

Believers from what I have seen try see life trough utopian or idealistic prism of Gods perfect will or misery and death if they abondon faith. Very few can bare such extreme ideals.

p.s. I recived enough faith that after leaving my religion few years ago, I still strongly believe that there is a God and I will be most possibly tortured for abandoning religion and enjoy life, I cant change that.

Thank you brewer,
I was raised catholic.

(October 8, 2016 at 1:26 pm)Laura_opened_her_eyes Wrote: Thank you brewer,
I was raised catholic.

Please, not so formal, mh is fine. Or bark (dog with hair lip).

That was going to be my first guess. That had to come with an extra dose of guilt. Vacation bible school here in the heartland is always disturbing to me. I have vague memories of the brain washing (insert shudders here).

Congratulations Laura .. It seems that you had a lot on your mind and finally you could shake it all off .. It feels so amazing doesnt it? Not thinking about what you're doing is in accordance to what GOD wants it not.. ughhh you must feel so liberated..

(October 8, 2016 at 1:11 pm)Laura_opened_her_eyes Wrote: I must say my faith in god gradually dwindled until I finally admitted to myself I had been indoctrinated through:
fear, shame, and guilt into being christian from a tender age.

However...your "true colors" sort of just lay dormant until the match goes off.
I finally had to be honest with myself:
I don't care about the bible, I don't care about god, I don't believe in Jesus.
I've skimmed the other religions but the problem is "faith".

I had no faith in myself so I placed it in some vague entity that does not exist in order to avoid responsibility for the way my life was, my emotions, and allowing people to control my life...to further avoid responsibility. 
Spirituality was an escape route for a while but it didn't solve the problem. 
Yeah, keep leaving it up to god and see how that works out for you.

Plus...90% of the things I am ashamed of in myself were/are due to religious upbringing.

If I had never read the bible I would be a much happier person but it's not too late to cultivate true inner peace and self acceptance without resorting to superstition, karma, and other silly notions of "otherworldly beings" out to help or hurt me.
I can't continue lying to myself about the real reason I "prayed" to god.

If you pray to a jar of milk everyday, you will get 3 answers: The jar of milk says yes, the jar of milk says no because you are wicked and need to pray more to it and the jar of milk says maybe, because the jar of milk works in mysterious ways.

works 100% lol,