(November 15, 2016 at 9:36 pm)Mamacita Wrote: I don't care about the laptop. I don't care about the chairs. This time was different. There is no stopping you now.

**************
Thank you for staying by my side for all this time. I have been drowning, and you never gave up. I have no words to describe how thankful I am. Thank you for bringing me back to sanity. I'm ready. No more playing nice or being patient. I'll take your advice. Let's do this.

***************

And you... why didn't you call the cops? Why? Was it thrilling? Were you bored? Should have called. Now this involves you, too.

***************

Peace, love, bacon, Ivy.

CIJS

It's so very great to see you posting, Ivy! And to see you posting on your very own asskicking thread too!

I hope you're doing well, I've been missing you a lot. You're awesome! And you deserve the best that life has to offer... And you've always been an amazing friend to me

(November 16, 2016 at 2:27 am)robvalue Wrote: CIJS: I'm thrilled that my operation should really be happening. I have a fairly secure date of December 6th. I might be eating a proper diet again within a month if all goes well! This has got to have an effect on my energy and depression. I've not been able to munch on fresh fruit and veg for five fucking years. No wonder I'm so run down and despondent.

They got free wifi there so I'll be able to keep you all posted on the disgusting details! They're going to be removing the section which links up my large and small bowel, and joining them together. This has a 97% chance of sticking first time. The affected area which forces me to eat this low fibre/residue diet or else possibly die is in this region, and apparently too close to the join to remove separately.

uh . .

the section that is being removed would make for an interesting souvenir.  You know, in a jar with some formaldehyde, on your coffee table . . .

(November 16, 2016 at 6:55 am)Alasdair Ham Wrote:

(November 15, 2016 at 9:36 pm)Mamacita Wrote: I don't care about the laptop. I don't care about the chairs. This time was different. There is no stopping you now.

**************
Thank you for staying by my side for all this time. I have been drowning, and you never gave up. I have no words to describe how thankful I am. Thank you for bringing me back to sanity. I'm ready. No more playing nice or being patient. I'll take your advice. Let's do this.

***************

And you... why didn't you call the cops? Why? Was it thrilling? Were you bored? Should have called. Now this involves you, too.

***************

Peace, love, bacon, Ivy.

CIJS

It's so very great to see you posting, Ivy! And to see you posting on your very own asskicking thread too!

I hope you're doing well, I've been missing you a lot. You're awesome! And you deserve the best that life has to offer... And you've always been an amazing friend to me

Hey, boo. Miss you, too. I know you don't like fb much, but you can find me there. I don't do much of any other social media anymore. I send you a warm hug, my friend.

Oh! By the way.. For those of you that text me, please send me fb messages instead. Right now all my texts are being read all day every day. Save both of us a lot of headaches by messaging me instead. Thanks!

I might post again this weekend. My poetry night is on Saturday and I'd like to share clips of it with my online buddies. Sorry I have been absent. Life has been... a prison. If I saw someone else go through what I'm going through, I'd probably be judgy and think why the fuck she doesn't press charges? I know. I don't know. I wish I could explain without making me sound stupid. Lucky for me I got help. I have friends locally who have been there through thick and thin and now they're taking over. I'm accepting the help. Anywho... miss you guys and ttyl.

Oh and hugs to ya, Brewer and Thump! Miss you!

(November 16, 2016 at 11:13 am)vorlon13 Wrote:

(November 16, 2016 at 2:27 am)robvalue Wrote: CIJS: I'm thrilled that my operation should really be happening. I have a fairly secure date of December 6th. I might be eating a proper diet again within a month if all goes well! This has got to have an effect on my energy and depression. I've not been able to munch on fresh fruit and veg for five fucking years. No wonder I'm so run down and despondent.

They got free wifi there so I'll be able to keep you all posted on the disgusting details! They're going to be removing the section which links up my large and small bowel, and joining them together. This has a 97% chance of sticking first time. The affected area which forces me to eat this low fibre/residue diet or else possibly die is in this region, and apparently too close to the join to remove separately.

uh . .

the section that is being removed would make for an interesting souvenir.  You know, in a jar with some formaldehyde, on your coffee table . . .

You know, I hadn't thought of that! I'll see what the surgeon says.

God damn though, I'm hoping so much this operation is a turning point. I'm sick to death of being so tired all the time. I barely enjoy anything, I just do things to keep myself from the brink of madness. If no one would miss me, I'd be off to find the least painful way of killing myself. I've promised Emma I'd never do that, and that I'd tell her as soon as I made any actual plans. Somehow it has never got that far in these 10 years. Honestly, I don't know how. I feel like a corpse, dragging myself through life.

I saw a new psychiatrist and he's given me something for anxiety, which is also crippling me at the moment. I will be getting some more CBT fairly soon; I'm already on a massive dose of antidepressants and he doesn't think raising it more will do any good.

Sorry for the grim post. Just getting it out of my system. I love you guys, and you keep me going too

CIJS

After a long walk--I used to enjoy my walks--all I could hear is my negative self-talk.... my walks used to contain happy day dreaming about how loved I felt. Now they seem to only be about how unloved I feel. I came home with the worst depression I've had in ages.

Then I saw Ivy's post and I feel a little more cared about.

Ivy, I didn't know you don't use Skype anymore so thanks for telling me. I certainly will be FBing you, you bet! You're one of my four favorite people here and one of the few people in this world who makes me feel understood. Thank you so much for being my friend and thank you for believing in me.

(November 16, 2016 at 11:47 am)robvalue Wrote: God damn though, I'm hoping so much this operation is a turning point. I'm sick to death of being so tired all the time. I barely enjoy anything, I just do things to keep myself from the brink of madness. If no one would miss me, I'd be off to find the least painful way of killing myself. I've promised Emma I'd never do that, and that I'd tell her as soon as I made any actual plans. Somehow it has never got that far in these 10 years. Honestly, I don't know how. I feel like a corpse, dragging myself through life.

I saw a new psychiatrist and he's given me something for anxiety, which is also crippling me at the moment. I will be getting some more CBT fairly soon; I'm already on a massive dose of antidepressants and he doesn't think raising it more will do any good.

Sorry for the grim post. Just getting it out of my system. I love you guys, and you keep me going too

CBT ?

Cock and ball torture ?


You naughty boy !!

(November 16, 2016 at 12:36 am)Aroura Wrote: Wow CD, that's terrible!
I hope you were able to get your meds replaced.

Not exactly.

I wish!

Cognitive behaviour therapy, it's about analysing and challenging thoughts and attitudes. I've had it twice before and is helped me immensely. I need a refresher and more guidance, my techniques are not working anymore.

I had CBT in the past and it didn't work for me but I went again recently and was told it might not have worked for me because there's a good chance that I have Aspergers Syndrome and standard CBT won't be effective if I have AS... I was told I might need a more specialized therapy.

Standard CBT should work fine for people less weird than myself