Why I no longer believe.
July 7, 2011 at 12:50 am
(This post was last modified: July 7, 2011 at 12:53 am by dmrob2009.)
I was raised a Methodist. I only attended church periodically with my grandparents when I would visit. My family on my father's side are all VERY devout and show little tolerance for those who have different viewpoints on the subject of religion. My mother's family, on the other hand, sometimes attend church and consider themselves to be Christians... but have a much more relaxed attitude toward religion. They don't judge others the way that my father's family does.
Fast forward to my adult life. I never actually asked jesus to come into my heart until September of 2009. At that point, according to Christian belief, I was saved. I was having serious issues at the time, including a serious binge eating disorder, alcoholism and chronic clinical depression. I was told "Just hand all of your problems over to god and he will fix them". I was also told that I should pray regularly and I even started doing a bible study with my aunt (Dad's side) so that I could build my new relationship with christ. I have to say, that from September of 2009 until Febrary of this year, the only thing that got fixed was my alcoholism, which, at the time, I attributed to god. Everything else got MUCH worse.
Last summer, I fell into a depression that was so profound that I nearly offed myself. I ran out of my antidepressants over the holiday and thus decided that it was time to go cold turkey with all pharmaceuticals. I did this, and something unbelievable happened to me. For the first time in my adult life (I'm 37), I started to use my brain. I began questioning everything, and my BS meter shot through the roof. The fact that 9 11 was a false flag attack was my first realization. Then onto the corrupt Federal Reserve, the Marrionette puppet show involving the right and left paradigm... And then the queen mother of all topics... religion. I watched a YouTube video called "Why I am no longer a Christian" by Evid3nce, which referred me to a book called "Some Mistakes of Moses" by Robert Ingersoll. That book changed my perception of religion altogether. Not only did I question the existence of any god... I flatout denied it.
As this transformation occurred, I began to reflect on my life... and the Christians in it. Of all of the people that I know, it is the hard core Christians that seem to make me feel the worst. My father's side would disown me if they knew that I was an atheist. My mother's side, however, I have told about my beliefs. While they may disagree, they don't condemn me for my views nor do they try to change my mind. My monster-in-law is ate up with jesus love. She is naive as all getout, unaccepting of her gay son, closed minded and extremely dogmatic about everything, but particularly religion. She had my kids over for the night last year and felt the need to have a talk with them about "the enemy" at bed time. My poor children, ages 4 and 6 were completely traumatized at the notion of an enemy living underground. That, to me, is pure evil. I've found, in recent times, that the more religious the individual, the greater their propensity for hate, thoughtlessness and hypocrisy. For that reason and knowing that Christianity defies science, logic, reason, intellect, etc... I choose not to believe.
Fast forward to my adult life. I never actually asked jesus to come into my heart until September of 2009. At that point, according to Christian belief, I was saved. I was having serious issues at the time, including a serious binge eating disorder, alcoholism and chronic clinical depression. I was told "Just hand all of your problems over to god and he will fix them". I was also told that I should pray regularly and I even started doing a bible study with my aunt (Dad's side) so that I could build my new relationship with christ. I have to say, that from September of 2009 until Febrary of this year, the only thing that got fixed was my alcoholism, which, at the time, I attributed to god. Everything else got MUCH worse.
Last summer, I fell into a depression that was so profound that I nearly offed myself. I ran out of my antidepressants over the holiday and thus decided that it was time to go cold turkey with all pharmaceuticals. I did this, and something unbelievable happened to me. For the first time in my adult life (I'm 37), I started to use my brain. I began questioning everything, and my BS meter shot through the roof. The fact that 9 11 was a false flag attack was my first realization. Then onto the corrupt Federal Reserve, the Marrionette puppet show involving the right and left paradigm... And then the queen mother of all topics... religion. I watched a YouTube video called "Why I am no longer a Christian" by Evid3nce, which referred me to a book called "Some Mistakes of Moses" by Robert Ingersoll. That book changed my perception of religion altogether. Not only did I question the existence of any god... I flatout denied it.
As this transformation occurred, I began to reflect on my life... and the Christians in it. Of all of the people that I know, it is the hard core Christians that seem to make me feel the worst. My father's side would disown me if they knew that I was an atheist. My mother's side, however, I have told about my beliefs. While they may disagree, they don't condemn me for my views nor do they try to change my mind. My monster-in-law is ate up with jesus love. She is naive as all getout, unaccepting of her gay son, closed minded and extremely dogmatic about everything, but particularly religion. She had my kids over for the night last year and felt the need to have a talk with them about "the enemy" at bed time. My poor children, ages 4 and 6 were completely traumatized at the notion of an enemy living underground. That, to me, is pure evil. I've found, in recent times, that the more religious the individual, the greater their propensity for hate, thoughtlessness and hypocrisy. For that reason and knowing that Christianity defies science, logic, reason, intellect, etc... I choose not to believe.
Normally I'd read it. But In my current state: I'd be reading two of it. Because I'm seeing double. Because I did double the work I'd planned.
