Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: August 12, 2022, 10:35 pm

Poll: Another poll for absolutely no reason.
This poll is closed.
I love this game. Cinjin you're brilliant.
83.33%
5 83.33%
I love these awesome polls even more. Please never stop making them.
16.67%
1 16.67%
Total 6 vote(s) 100%
* You voted for this item. [Show Results]

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Wishmaster 2018
#1
Wishmaster 2018
Take Two of a game we used to play around here.

The first poster makes a wish.
The following poster grants the wish in some screwed up 'Wishmaster' way. For instance.

1st Poster: I wish I could go to Peru some day.
2nd Poster: Granted. I just sent you back in time to Machu Picchu where they sacrificed you to their gods.

Alright? 
Don't forget to quote the wish and then post your wish after you grant one. I'll start us up.


I wish I had a nickle for every time I heard someone say "I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ."
[Image: Evolution.png]

Reply
#2
RE: Wishmaster 2018
"I wish I had a nickle for every time I heard someone say "I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ."

Granted. Jesus gave you the biggest treasure that exists - his love. Now your his humble servant, who begs people on the street to accept Jesus in their heart, while crying tears of joy.

I wish I had a time machine and I could go back in time and tell myself an encouraging speech.
[Image: keep-calm-and-praise-the-sun.jpg]
Reply
#3
RE: Wishmaster 2018
Granted, but having heard the impressive rhetoric of an alternate you..you fall into complete despair of who you actually became.

I wish my wife had beer flavored nipples.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
#4
RE: Wishmaster 2018
(January 28, 2018 at 1:51 pm)Khemikal Wrote: Granted, but having heard the impressive rhetoric of an alternate you..you fall into complete despair of who you actually became.

I wish my wife had beer flavored nipples.

Granted, Your wifes nipples taste like anchovies. (they make every flavor of beer now)

I wish I had a my own resort.
[Image: Evolution.png]

Reply
#5
RE: Wishmaster 2018
You now have your own "resort". Well, you call it your resort... but what you actually mean is you've chosen to deal with life by resorting to random acts of shocking chilling violence on strangers for no good reason. You get away with all the murders but during the process of resorting to bashing one of the random dudes over the head with your fist you break a nail and it like.... really really hurts and was totally not worth the sadistic joy of the random murdering. You regret resorting to murderyness. In fact it turned out to be the worst "resort" you ever resorted to.

EDIT: Oh fuck I completely forgot the next part. I always do that shit. Okay here goes:

I wish I understood what the fuck happiness even was.
Reply
#6
RE: Wishmaster 2018
"I wish I understood what the fuck happiness even was".

Granted. You realized that it's a myth and you just lived an average and boring life.

I wish I wasn't so sad.
[Image: keep-calm-and-praise-the-sun.jpg]
Reply
#7
RE: Wishmaster 2018
(January 28, 2018 at 2:24 pm)purplepurpose Wrote: "I wish I understood what the fuck happiness even was".

Granted. You realized that it's a myth and you just lived an average and boring life.

I wish I wasn't so sad.

Granted, you never get to watch anime again. (that shit would make anyone depressed)

I wish my hair would stop falling out of my head.
[Image: Evolution.png]

Reply
#8
RE: Wishmaster 2018
(January 28, 2018 at 2:31 pm)Cinjin Wrote: Granted, you never get to watch anime again.  (that shit would make anyone depressed)

I wish my hair would stop falling out of my head.

Granted. In a twist of fate, hair instead begins to fall onto your head.  Some stray hairs from others who were balding as you once were, but mostly pubes.  Wet shower drain piles of pubes take a bee line towards your head, the hair mass slowly but surely grows in size until you are no longer able to stand.  You just lie on the ground held in place by a mountain of pubes until eventually the weight crushes your skull ending the misery that was the last bit of your life.

---

I wish ibuprofen wasn't bad for your stomach.
Reply
#9
RE: Wishmaster 2018
(January 28, 2018 at 2:46 pm)wallym Wrote: Granted.  In a twist of fate, hair instead begins to fall onto your head.  Some stray hairs from others who were balding as you once were, but mostly pubes.  Wet shower drain piles of pubes take a bee line towards your head, the hair mass slowly but surely grows in size until you are no longer able to stand.  You just lie on the ground held in place by a mountain of pubes until eventually the weight crushes your skull ending the misery that was the last bit of your life.

---

I wish ibuprofen wasn't bad for your stomach.

Granted. You become impotent but almost immune to side effects of ibuprofen.

I wish Trump send me a personal letter for liking meme videos on Youtube about him that got his so popular in the first place.
[Image: keep-calm-and-praise-the-sun.jpg]
Reply
#10
RE: Wishmaster 2018
(January 28, 2018 at 3:15 pm)purplepurpose Wrote: I wish Trump send me a personal letter for liking meme videos on Youtube about him that got his so popular in the first place.

You go insane from trying to make sense of the mulricoloured crayon scribbles.

I wish I was a famous, in-demand porn star.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Borowitz 3-2-2018 Minimalist 2 201 March 2, 2018 at 9:59 pm
Last Post: Minimalist



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)