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RE: Moses
January 15, 2013 at 8:01 pm
(January 15, 2013 at 6:59 pm)pocaracas Wrote: To me, it'll always be this guy
![[Image: charlton-heston-as-moses-in-the-ten-commandments.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=media.theiapolis.com%2Fb000000%2Fd8%2FhLC%2FiMHF%2Fk8%2Fl15N%2Fs6%2Ft3%2FwSG%2Fy04%2Fcharlton-heston-as-moses-in-the-ten-commandments.jpg)
Bonus points for whoever can translate the tablets!
Dear fuckin "chosen people"...
Pay no attention to the dumbass twit in the maroon dress.
He was on peyote and he totally misunderstood what I said.
He's going to tell you to cut your dicks, don't listen to him, it WILL hurt.
He's also going to tell you to continue the pagan practice of sacrifice even though I never commanded him to.
He's a moronic horn-dog who just wants to fuck everything in sight so he'll also allow you numbnuts to divorce your wives for any reason you like.
Don't worry though, after I fuck up your lives for being dumbasses with blood on your hands, I'll send a prophet to tell you all of this shit again...
Have fun,
Your Creator. 
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RE: Moses
January 15, 2013 at 8:17 pm
(This post was last modified: January 15, 2013 at 8:18 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Dear fuckin chosen people, there was a mixup with the whole prophet business - for some reason, some lesser angel in marketing sent a fuckup instead. The guy clearly couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground, this much I thought would be obvious to you, but clearly I was wrong.
We're working on a solution, but as you may have realized by now, we're very new at this and we don't quite know what we're doing most of the time. Your business is very important to us, we thank you for your patience as we continue to investigate this issue.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Moses
January 15, 2013 at 8:40 pm
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RE: Moses
January 16, 2013 at 3:03 am
The Bible is the only source of the unbiased information about Moses.
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RE: Moses
January 16, 2013 at 3:06 am
(January 16, 2013 at 3:03 am)Christian Wrote: The Bible is the only source of the unbiased information about Moses.
DC Comics is the only source of unbiased information about Superman.
My ignore list
"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
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RE: Moses
January 16, 2013 at 3:10 am
(January 16, 2013 at 3:06 am)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: (January 16, 2013 at 3:03 am)Christian Wrote: The Bible is the only source of the unbiased information about Moses.
DC Comics is the only source of unbiased information about Superman.
Only difference is that God is real and superman ain't. 
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RE: Moses
January 16, 2013 at 3:22 am
(January 16, 2013 at 3:10 am)Christian Wrote: (January 16, 2013 at 3:06 am)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: DC Comics is the only source of unbiased information about Superman.
Only difference is that God is real and superman ain't.
You deny that Superman exists?
My ignore list
"The lord doesn't work in mysterious ways, but in ways that are indistinguishable from his nonexistence."
-- George Yorgo Veenhuyzen quoted by John W. Loftus in The End of Christianity (p. 103).
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RE: Moses
January 16, 2013 at 5:29 am
(January 16, 2013 at 3:10 am)Christian Wrote: (January 16, 2013 at 3:06 am)teaearlgreyhot Wrote: DC Comics is the only source of unbiased information about Superman.
Only difference is that God is real and superman ain't.
Good-o, prove it then.
![[Image: mybannerglitter06eee094.gif]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i118.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fo112%2Fpussinboots_photos%2FBikes%2Fmybannerglitter06eee094.gif)
If you're not supposed to ride faster than your guardian angel can fly then mine had better get a bloody SR-71.
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RE: Moses
January 16, 2013 at 5:32 am
(This post was last modified: January 16, 2013 at 5:32 am by KichigaiNeko.)
In all seriousness rexbex. I don't think you will get any clarity on Moses (the character of the bible stories) Was wading through "The Bible Unearthed" and following up on the Sumerians only to find that this 'Moses' character to be a part of far older stories. I think the Epic of Gilgamesh http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_of_Gilgamesh @ around 13th - 10th century BCE
"The Universe is run by the complex interweaving of three elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest." G'Kar-B5
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RE: Moses
January 16, 2013 at 5:47 am
(January 16, 2013 at 5:32 am)KichigaiNeko Wrote: In all seriousness rexbex. I don't think you will get any clarity on Moses (the character of the bible stories) Was wading through "The Bible Unearthed" and following up on the Sumerians only to find that this 'Moses' character to be a part of far older stories. I think the Epic of Gilgamesh http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epic_of_Gilgamesh @ around 13th - 10th century BCE
I've been doing a lot of research about Moses lately, and the more I read, the more deeply I delve into it, the more I picture him as this spoiled brat, trustafarian type, who hops to when he's told he has to, but spends his life whining about it.
Heehee
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