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To those who believe in Heaven and hell
#1
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To those who believe in Heaven and hell
So this is something I'm curious about. Theists, if you believe in Heaven here's a scenario;

You are 98 years old and have lived your life in full light of the lord, or whatever. You've always devoted yourself to Him.
You married your spouse at a young age and stayed happily married all these years. You procreated, multiple times, as did your offspring.
All told, you have, say 6 kids and 45 grandkids, even 8 grandchildren.
All of you, every single last one of you lived your entire lives by His grace and glory.

And when all of these children and grandchildren and great grandchildren pass, they all pass aged beyond 80, yourselves included.

When you die and go to Heaven with all of these things that were the fruit of your loins, how old are you? And they?
Is everyone you loved up there kickin' it senior citizen's style? Does one 'age' in heaven? If so, how?
I mean eternity,
"Happy 5th Googol!!!!"

5(10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000)
No candles on the cake, I'd say this is definitely a fire hazard.


Or is this some sort of 'spirit' thing? You will take on your true celestial body which takes no shape..... So it's communication by thought?
But you have no brains, with what do you think? Or you don't think, and it's mental (ya) connections to those you loved on earth life?

I'm also curious about being with the one you married forever, or being single forever. What if that's not what you ultimately want?
I guess you just fucked yourself there.

It also makes me wonder about God. It seems really shitty in my opinion that a creator that just wants you to be happy and good and above all
worship him only gives you 100 earth years (at most) to find that person you're going to spend the hereafter with, which is a lot more than
a hundred years, according to what I've learned. Seems like I would be afraid to make a commitment like that. Forever this life, 'til death do us part',
not til our sun burns itself out and longer. Not to sound callous but that is a LONG fucking time. I can't even conceive a fraction,
a tiny piece,
of such a length of time. Nor can any, far as I'm concerned.
No fucking wonder polygamy was advocated back then. Variety is the spice of the afterlife.


God has saved many, yes? Certainly there are many in Heaven. How does He determine the way and duration He spends with His children?

Will you meet God, or will you just catch his tshirt or a drumstick at the concert?

Just wondering about heaven in general. No, I'm not considering any sort of conversion.

*All of the above is a rhetorical scenario and is in no way intended to make the reader believe that the poster believes in any sort of silly afterlife nor any form of deity or higher/supreme being/power.*
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Thanks to Cinjin for making it more 'sig space' friendly.
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#2
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
Jerkoff
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#3
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
There will be no one married to another, this is made clear in scripture. What our new bodies are like would be anyone's guess, other than they will be flesh, we will eat food and drink liquids, Jesus Himself will serve our first meal. There will not be equal rewards, we will all be loved by God equally. There probably will not be equal responsibilities, I take this from a parable. Yes because we are in a sinless state we will see God and worship in His presence. Remember we will live forever, so your 5 google is as nothing.

GC
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
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#4
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
Jesus Christ: the celestial waiter????
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#5
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
I have seen so many crappy posts in the past but this one must take a special prize as the crappiest one.Worship (large)
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#6
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
The people I feel sorry for are the people who remarried after their spouse died. How awkward would that be when you get to heaven and find your first wife, then a few years later here comes your second wife?
Christian apologetics is the art of rolling a dog turd in sugar and selling it as a donut.
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#7
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
(November 7, 2013 at 9:56 am)enrico Wrote: I have seen so many crappy posts in the past but this one must take a special prize as the crappiest one.Worship (large)

Excluding yours, naturally.

(November 7, 2013 at 10:02 am)Doubting Thomas Wrote: The people I feel sorry for are the people who remarried after their spouse died. How awkward would that be when you get to heaven and find your first wife, then a few years later here comes your second wife?

Did someone say 3-some?

Surely if you're in heaven you can get whatever you want though, right? I mean, why settle for one wife when you can have an unlimited orgasm forever with a billion sexy, slutty wives.

Ha. Heaven and hell are so nonsensical.
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#8
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
Thank you for the direct, if not in depth answer Godschild.

No other honest, unsarcastic, truly open answers? This wasn't a joke. I'm honestly curious what the afterlife that is heaven is supposed to be.

Nevermind. I'll stick other useless nonsense, like The Toilet Seat Dilemma. At least intelligent people can respond there.


(November 3, 2013 at 11:55 pm)Owlix Wrote: .

That's right, enrico.

Bow down.
[Image: CheerUp_zps63df8a6b.jpg]
Thanks to Cinjin for making it more 'sig space' friendly.
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#9
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
(November 7, 2013 at 11:13 pm)Owlix Wrote: Thank you for the direct, if not in depth answer Godschild.

No other honest, unsarcastic, truly open answers? This wasn't a joke. I'm honestly curious what the afterlife that is heaven is supposed to be.

Nevermind. I'll stick other useless nonsense, like The Toilet Seat Dilemma. At least intelligent people can respond there.


(November 3, 2013 at 11:55 pm)Owlix Wrote: .

That's right, enrico.

Bow down.

No one can truly know what it will be like, we're talking about something that goes far beyond our capabilities to comprehend, those things I gave you are some of what scripture says, God calls it paradise.

GC
God loves those who believe and those who do not and the same goes for me, you have no choice in this matter. That puts the matter of total free will to rest.
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#10
RE: To those who believe in Heaven and hell
" Yes because we are in a sinless state we will see God and worship in His presence. Remember we will live forever, so your 5 google is as nothing."

But what if we've been good during our lives?

This is heaven? Keep it.

What the fuck is this God that needs to be worshipped all the fucking time? Enough already - get over yourself - we know - all powerful and shit but for fuck's sakes - more praying?

No wonder 1/3rd of the angels left with Lucifer!

Why is the concept of unconditional love so completely unknown to God?
Kuusi palaa, ja on viimeinen kerta kun annan vaimoni laittaa jouluvalot!
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