My current gf is a dominatrix by trade.

I ate the last of the cheddar.

This confession could go out to any number of people I've known: I lied when I told you how cute your baby is. Please stop breeding.

I lied. It's not the dress that makes your butt look fat.

I wore a Star of David upside-down into a Jewish soup kitchen and asked for pork and beans. This guy asked me to leave, so I broke his arm and farted in his yarmulke. Then I posted about it on FB and some guy in Tibet called the cops on me. But I busted them up too.

(July 15, 2014 at 12:57 pm)alpha male Wrote: I wore a Star of David upside-down into a Jewish soup kitchen and asked for pork and beans. This guy asked me to leave, so I broke his arm and farted in his yarmulke. Then I posted about it on FB and some guy in Tibet called the cops on me. But I busted them up too.

Nuh uh.

(July 14, 2014 at 6:55 pm)Beccs Wrote: I have annoyingly straight hair.

I also have an old song that I haven't heard for years stuck in my noggin. "Down in the boondocks"

I hated my curls when I was young, wanted straight hair so bad.

And now the boondocks is stuck in my head!!

(July 15, 2014 at 1:50 am)Rhythm Wrote: That would be entirely too mild for you deviants in a69.

Hey! I resemble that remark!

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(July 15, 2014 at 11:24 am)Clueless Morgan Wrote: I'm 29, but I still crank music on my headphones and dance around my house lip syncing into a hairbrush.

I'm 45 and still do that. Growing old may be required but growing up is entirely optional!

(July 15, 2014 at 12:30 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: I ate the last of the cheddar.

I thought that was you. Greedy prick.

Boru

(July 14, 2014 at 8:40 am)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:

(July 14, 2014 at 6:53 am)Losty Wrote: I hate AC/DC

Mine: I was a criminal as a youth until I got popped at 14 for grand theft -- breaking into cars for stereos etc.

So you are implying that you are a straight up G and you are going to beat me up because I hate AC/DC? Am I reading this right?