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Life Is Short; Have an Affair
RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
Repressed people have a tendency to step out of bounds in fantastic ways....it;s almost as if all those boundaries served interests entirely opposite from that which they are imposed in order to achieve........

@Aurora, perhaps you should read my first responses in this thread, lol, bandwagoner. Rox did it better. You went off base, of course, as you seem to think I'm chiding people for making judgements....when I'm not. Im chiding people for a slip in foresight directly relevant to themselves. Something that we all notice, that we, on this board, harp on constantly, but, because of the subject matter, is blotted out in this specific instance.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
(August 25, 2015 at 3:52 pm)Rhythm Wrote: Repressed people have a tendency to step out of bounds in fantastic ways....it;s almost as if all those boundaries served interests entirely opposite from that which they are imposed in order to achieve........

The illness that announces itself the cure....
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RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
(August 25, 2015 at 3:47 pm)Neimenovic Wrote:
(August 25, 2015 at 3:21 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote: They preach that molesting children is good?

No, they preach extreme sexual repression, and that takes its toll.

Eh, I don't think it's appropriate for us to diagnose his molesting behavior as the outcome of his upbringing... 

My siblings and I were brought up with the same principles regarding sexual morality. I think some people just really struggle with sexual temptation because of who they are, like it's in their genes, not necessarily because of how they were brought up.
"Of course, everyone will claim they respect someone who tries to speak the truth, but in reality, this is a rare quality. Most respect those who speak truths they agree with, and their respect for the speaking only extends as far as their realm of personal agreement. It is less common, almost to the point of becoming a saintly virtue, that someone truly respects and loves the truth seeker, even when their conclusions differ wildly." 

-walsh
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RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
(August 25, 2015 at 3:55 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:
(August 25, 2015 at 3:47 pm)Neimenovic Wrote: No, they preach extreme sexual repression, and that takes its toll.

Eh, I don't think it's appropriate for us to diagnose his molesting behavior as the outcome of his upbringing... 

My siblings and I were brought up with the same principles regarding sexual morality. I think some people just really struggle with sexual temptation because of who they are, like it's in their genes, not necessarily because of how they were brought up.

No, but it is up to professional psychologists, all of whom would more than likely tell you it was a huge factor in what he did. Think what you like, it is widely known and well documented that sexual repression is damaging and causes aggression and abuse.

Regarding the second part.....I doubt it was equally messed up. They're not allowed front hugs with the opposite sex, they can't go to the beach or read romance novels, girls must wear skirts and a family member must be present at all times if they are with the opposite sex. Say what you want, that is very unhealthy and I would be extremely surprised if it didn't negatively affect all of their kids in some way.
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RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
I know and love people who have cheated on their spouses. This is not about judging a whole group of people (this is a strawman that keeps getting tossed at me), but about enjoying (a little bit) the revelation that people who personally claimed they were morally superior, were nothing of the sort.

That is ALL my posts have been about. I don't otherwise give a shit what other people do in private, including cheat, unless it invloves me personally of course.
“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?” 
― Tom StoppardRosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
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RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
That little bit of enjoyment, which both you and I feel, does actually affect us, personally. We're feeling enjoyment about the breach of another persons well justified, legally protected expectations. The joy we feel now is the same joy that bigots feel when gays are outed, or that some fundie nutjob with a rifle might were he provided with a list of atheist names. It's not really an issue of morality except inasmuch as we turn the discussion that way by referencing -their- immorality...just as the bigot and the nutjob do over their lists. The joy is normal, it;s human, it;s nothing to apologize for.......but it's a exceedingly bad idea to be okay with it - even in a tiny way, lol. Mull it over, because that's all I'm hammering at.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Reply
RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
(July 22, 2015 at 8:28 am)Rhythm Wrote: In the OP article, replace "married people cheat" with, "gay people meet".   It takes a special kind of asshole to threaten outing people for their sexlives.

In response, I read this and even read it to my husband and we discussed.

Are any gay people putting themselves up on moral pedestals?  No?  Did I ever EVER say I think it is ok for this to happen to these people?  NO.  It is NOT ok for the hackers to do this, I've said it over and over.  And I've admitted I should not enjoy even just a few people getting caught at it.  So what is your point?  you are TOO chiding us on judging people. That is your entire point....even this post is showing how it is the same as judging gay people, and therefore wrong to judge.

You are straw manning my point to death.  Your argument has nothing to with mine.
“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?” 
― Tom StoppardRosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
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RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
(August 25, 2015 at 11:50 am)Rhythm Wrote: You weren't victimized by a website.  The website monetized what your silly ex would have done in any case, and perhaps may have already done.  ...

Not necessarily.  Sometimes, people do things because they are easy to do, and would not otherwise do them.  Making it easy to have an affair, makes it more likely.

This is analogous to you leaving your car unlocked and the key in the ignition.  Doing that does not force anyone to steal it, obviously, but it does make it easy and someone might steal your car who never before stole a car, and never even seriously planned to steal a car.

Making things easy makes them more likely.

"A wise man ... proportions his belief to the evidence."
— David Hume, An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding, Section X, Part I.
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RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
(August 25, 2015 at 4:04 pm)Rhythm Wrote: That little bit of enjoyment, which both you and I feel, does actually affect us, personally.  We're feeling enjoyment about the breach of another persons well justified, legally protected expectations.

Of course it does.  And it probably isn't healthy either.  And yet...there it is.

At any rate, I would again like to point out that in 21 states INFIDELTITY IS ILLEGAL. In other countries it is as well, and AM operates where it is legal and where it is illegal.  AM is helping at least some of it's clients break the law.  This is just a fact.  


I am not a legal expert, but if I break the law, even online, then I've giving up my right to the privacy of that law breaking action.
“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?” 
― Tom StoppardRosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
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RE: Life Is Short; Have an Affair
(August 25, 2015 at 4:10 pm)Pyrrho Wrote:
(August 25, 2015 at 11:50 am)Rhythm Wrote: You weren't victimized by a website.  The website monetized what your silly ex would have done in any case, and perhaps may have already done.  ...

Not necessarily.  Sometimes, people do things because they are easy to do, and would not otherwise do them.  Making it easy to have an affair, makes it more likely.

Actually, yeah... this. I missed this when I read it earlier, but my ex knew nothing of Ashley Madison and only became a member after he saw an episode dedicated to it on a talk show. That's not to say he wouldn't have cheated otherwise (he might or might not have), but he did the AM thing because it was convenient.
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
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