I am the One True Turtle

[Edwardo Piet]

So I The One True Turtle say stuff and that's evidence that I am The One True Turtle! Yay!

See, I'm fallacious like a truly godly being should be.

[robvalue]

It's evidence that someone exists who is claiming to be this ninja hero turtle god or something!

I am the only god who has performed public miracles.

[robvalue]

Miracle! It's a G-Rob miracle!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfJPIEasrc8

[Aoi Magi]

turtle = tasty
turtle-god = divinely tasty

[Edwardo Piet]

See Magi has faith in my supreme deliciousness.

G-rob you are an imposter and the anti-turtle! Everyone knows that the turtle-satan gave you evidence and videos to lead the true believers astray to test their faith in turtleyness. The only true path to divinity is to have faith in my highly irrational faith, just like any other faith (they're all highly irrational of course).

Do we have any takers at all to have faith in my complete total and utter turtleyness? I know it's highly rational and stupid, but this is a religion we're talking about so what do you expect? If G-Rob has evidence then he can't be a true God and his religion must be fake: Evidence defies the very definition of godliness.

So have the brainwashing turtley cookies kicked in yet?

[robvalue]

You win! I surrender. You really are the one true God.

And by God logic, that means you're not, and I am. Psych!

[ignoramus]

Evie, I used to be Spock, look at me now. Rob did this to me. How can I not believe?

[Edwardo Piet]

It was because he used his satantic anti-turtle powers to rob your spockiness from you! Rob them from you I say!

See, the clue is in the name! "Rob"! Trust in TOTT.

[ignoramus]

I don't trust exoskeleton gods or cyborgs! Sorry!

[robvalue]

I'm still winning! Even if one of the votes was mine.

Since I'm the one and only God, my vote should be worth like 10 or something.