Card Carrying Member

[Cinjin]

Been away for a bit. I see some new faces.

My fundy Baptist father was in town. We talked about God for hours out on my back deck. For the first time ever he listened. We continually disagreed and several times he was appalled at my views, but still – he listened.

I was initially very pleased and enjoying this new dynamic, however, the points he gained by listening to another side of the argument he quickly lost at the end of the conversation. As we were wrapping up our conversation, I asked him if he was going to be ok. I didn’t want him to feel sadness for me – as that was not my intent.
He simply said (rather coldly), “I don’t really feel sadness … because I know my sadness will be taken away. I feel regret that you will not join me in the arms of Jesus in Heaven when you die.”

My response: So you haven’t heard a word I’ve said and you’re now claiming that you know that I’m going to hell?

“The Bible is clear. There is a price to be paid for sin, and I cannot support any of the choices you make in your life ... no matter how reasonable you believe them to be.” “God, is my only concern.”


Until now he’s never said the actual words. Clearly, he believes me to be a card carrying member of the lost.
Openly admitting that God, is his only concern. (not his son or his family ... God)

My dad just wrote me off and walked away.

[Autumnlicious]

You cannot control the actions of another person, only yourself.

For a parent who claimed to love their child, yours never truly did.

Be not sad at the loss, for there never was love -- you were only his means to an end. And that would be a far more unholy thing, hiding behind the cloth as hypocrites often do, than striking out for yourself.

Most fathers would be proud to have a son who would 'be his own man', have character.

Yours is only father by blood and not by heart.

Sorry to hear things went down the shitter, but sooner or later you were going to have to state who you clearly are.

[Cinjin]

Yours is only father by blood and not by heart.

How does a parent write off a child for any reason? religious or otherwise ... I do not understand.

You can be damn sure my son will never feel the sorrow that I have felt with my own father. What kind of god demands so much attention?

[Autumnlicious]

It's not about God.

It's about love.

He never loved you as a parent. Ergo, you can be discarded, written off.

Personally, I think he is a proverbial tool for discarding you like one the minute you failed to meet his desires. As if another human being is supposed to serve as a monument to his glorified delusions of granduer.

[Epimethean]

Cinjin, you are an evolved being. Some never get far from their root, let alone walk on their own feet.

I'm glad you are here. I don't mean that in a foolish way, either. Your humanity makes this place and, no doubt, the world, better.

[Minimalist]

His last comments were an attempt at emotional blackmail because your positions are so much more advanced than his that he cannot hope to refute them.

Odds are he didn't really mean it but pride ( and his fucking god delusions ) will never allow him to admit it.

[The Grand Nudger]

My father in law has the habit of twisting around anything I say so much so, that in his mind, I'm the most devout and faithful follower of Jesus Christ he's ever met. I understand the impulse, I'm railing his little girl six ways to sunday and he would simply be more comfortable if it were a christian debauching his baby. I'd give anything for a complete disconnect with this guy on the grounds of religion. Point is, eventually, his love for you (like my father in laws love for his daughter) will probably force him to take a position that allows you into heaven, and allows him to retract or correct the statement he made. Not that the damage wont have already been done. What can I say, I'm an optimist.

[Cinjin]

eventually, his love for you (like my father in laws love for his daughter) will probably force him to take a position that allows you into heaven, and allows him to retract or correct the statement he made. Not that the damage wont have already been done. What can I say, I'm an optimist.

He's running outta time .... buy hey, here's hoping.

Meanwhile, he and all those parents like him are missing out on a beautiful life.

[Shell B]

When my exish husband was getting ready to deploy to Iraq for the first time, his fundy brother called from half way across the country. His only concern was that my husband had found god before he left in case he died overseas. I believe his words were, "There is a chance you can die over there. I want to know that you have found god so I can see you when I die" or something to that effect. Two years ago, when he almost died in a motorcycle accident, the same brother showed up in the hospital room and creepily prayed over his bed for like half an hour while I averted my eyes and felt uncomfortable. When he walked out the door, I said, "He's gone now" and my newly conscious husband -- he had regained consciousness about half an hour before the brother showed up after being out for a day -- said, "Thank fuck. That was awkward." That guy has told me I am going to hell so many times I can't count. My husband even joked around and called me the heathen and similar things in my brother-in-law's presence. It really was a running joke. However, (I'm getting to the point.) I always felt uncomfortable about the torment he pretty much personally damned me to in his mind. Even if he believed it, I always found it rude that he say it and he was only my brother-in-law. I can't imagine what having a parent like that would be like. They always insist that love drives them to say these things. I wonder if they think that is true or if they know they are being dicks.

[The Grand Nudger]

Meh, if that sort of narrative has become one of the cornerstones of a persons reality, it's probably fair to say that they absolutely believe what they are saying to be true (that love compels them to address the issue). If you absolutely believe in the reality of hell, it's easy to make the case that allowing someone to condemn themselves to its halls for all eternity, when there may have been something you could have done to save them, is inhuman.