So my older brother is being buried today.

[Joods]

My biological father died 2 years ago. He didn't raise me. I only talked to him on the phone once a few months before he died just so he could say is piece. But I also wouldn't have gone to his funeral anyway. I don't think you owe family any explanation. Sometimes family members don't get along and it isn't healthy to force it especially if you feel like they are emotionally draining you.

Bold mine. 

So much this. I really wish courts would see and understand this. Honestly, my mother and sister are huge reasons why my ex cut me out of my oldest daughter's life. 

I remain hopeful that I can have her home again someday. Even so, when my mother dies, I think I'll throw a party to finally be relieved that we no longer share the same air space.

[Whateverist]

On one hand sorry for your loss

On the other I totally get were your coming from. I have 7 siblings and I know one who's funeral I won't be attending. After all he did attend my fathers ungrateful bastard .

So you were from a large litter too, one bigger than mine.  I'm second of seven, what is your Borg designation?

This older brother of mine was content to wait in the designated area holding his book of Mormon while his wife droned on about what a happy time death is for mormons.  You know, because they're going home to be with their loved ones who've already passed .. or back to Kalob is it?  Mormonism always seemed like such a mashup of DC comics and the bible.  It is a testament to people's basic lack of education and gullibility that their ranks continue  to swell. Oh and neither showed up when my father died.

[Amarok]

On one hand sorry for your loss

On the other I totally get were your coming from. I have 7 siblings and I know one who's funeral I won't be attending. After all he did attend my fathers ungrateful bastard .

So you were from a large litter too, one bigger than mine.  I'm second of seven, what is your Borg designation?

This older brother of mine was content to wait in the designated area holding his book of Mormon while his wife droned on about what a happy time death is for mormons.  You know, because they're going home to be with their loved ones who've already passed .. or back to Kalob is it?  Mormonism always seemed like such a mashup of DC comics and the bible.  It is a testament to people's basic lack of education and gullibility that their ranks continue  to swell.  Oh and neither showed up when my father died.

I'm 7 of 8

I here you my one of my younger sisters got mixed up in some new age cult. Moved to brazil and keeps sending me links to sites proving the crap the spew about humans being aliens and such .As for not showing up to your dads funeral that's just vile.

[Brian37]

My biological father died 2 years ago. He didn't raise me. I only talked to him on the phone once a few months before he died just so he could say is piece. But I also wouldn't have gone to his funeral anyway. I don't think you owe family any explanation. Sometimes family members don't get along and it isn't healthy to force it especially if you feel like they are emotionally draining you.

Bold mine. 

So much this. I really wish courts would see and understand this. Honestly, my mother and sister are huge reasons why my ex cut me out of my oldest daughter's life. 

I remain hopeful that I can have her home again someday. Even so, when my mother dies, I think I'll throw a party to finally be relieved that we no longer share the same air space.

It is natural for those who don't get along, family or even entire nations, for a family  member or head figure, when gone, for the other to feel "revenge". But I never feel that way myself, I'd only say I feel a sense of relief that an individual or a leader, who I see as causing me problems no longer being around to do it. But I sill am no fan of revenge. 

I cannot stand my biological brother, I don't want him in my life, but I also don't wish him ill either. Even with an asshole like Trump, I know even if he gets caught the likelihood of him spending a day in prison is slim. At best he'd get impeached then pardoned. But even if he did get prison time, I would still not want anyone harming him while in prison it wouldn't solve shit anyway. 

I do understand the frustration though. When I did spend time with my brother, I constantly had to hear the doomsday crap, and when he wasn't spewing that nonsense he displayed jealousy when I got along better with our family than he did. I don't need other's emotional baggage in my life. It is one thing to compromise in healthy relationship, but quite another for someone to suck the emotional life out of you.

[Mister Agenda]

1 of 10, counting halves and steps. I have a half-brother who mooched off me a lot. I can sympathize with not being able to muster a lot of emotional investment. I'll be sorry when he's gone though (I'm older, but he's been putting on more miles).

[Whateverist]

1 of 10, counting halves and steps. I have a half-brother who mooched off me a lot. I can sympathize with not being able to muster a lot of emotional investment. I'll be sorry when he's gone though (I'm older, but he's been putting on more miles).

#1, hey?  A position that brings out responsibility they say.  Seems to fit with my perceptions of you here.  But 10? Wow and I thought Orochi and I were outliers.

As a #2 I'm supposed to have some people skills, and relative to the rest of my family I definitely do.  Growing up, if any of my young siblings really, really wanted something from the parents they'd ask me to pitch it for them.  Probably should have become a lawyer.

[Alex K]

My condolences anyways...

[Brian37]

1 of 10, counting halves and steps. I have a half-brother who mooched off me a lot. I can sympathize with not being able to muster a lot of emotional investment. I'll be sorry when he's gone though (I'm older, but he's been putting on more miles).

It is only mooching when you financially drain someone. It isn't mooching when you agree to do it and can afford it. Husbands and wives are not always equal in pay and sometimes one of them does not have a job. Nothing wrong with supporting family, but not if they are draining you. 

I consider myself extremely lucky because my mom had enough for both of us and she was never at risk of being homeless. In return she got lots of help from me shopping going to appointments and even just spending time with her was a joy. 

I will say this, while if you decide to support someone, and they are the ones asking, it is still your choice to say no. 

I had a friend who really was not my friend, who kept asking me for money. The only thing I wanted from him was honesty. If he said he could pay me back, do it. If he said he couldn't pay me back, I'd still have considered it, but he always said he would but never did. I got tired of that.

I just paid to have my other long time friend to fly out to visit me in June. I DONT expect him to pay me back and right now I can afford it.

[Shell B]

No sense in attending a funeral if you don't want to. You'll grieve or not naturally with or without an audience.

I'm sorry you lost your brother, even if you think he was a shit. There is something to having fewer familial connections in this world. Short of catastrophically evil events, most of us feel some connection to people who share our DNA. There's a "loss" no matter how slight. Sorry for yours.

I've only ever skipped the funeral of one family member by design. Most of us did. There was no reason to pretend.

[Whateverist]

No seYnse in attending a funeral if you don't want to. You'll grieve or not naturally with or without an audience.

I'm sorry you lost your brother, even if you think he was a shit. There is something to having fewer familial connections in this world. Short of catastrophically evil events, most of us feel some connection to people who share our DNA. There's a "loss" no matter how slight. Sorry for yours.

I've only ever skipped the funeral of one family member by design. Most of us did. There was no reason to pretend.

Yep, his is the only one I've skipped or am likely to skip. He's the third brother I've had die. I spoke at both my parents and my last brother's funeral. I did grieve him in my own way and this thread was helpful. My only real regret was that I was never able to connect with him. I would have helped him if he'd let me but he couldn't listen and was hopelessly defensive. Communication is only possible if the way is open from both sides.