What will you do? (Ethical dilemma question)

[The Grand Nudger]

Rgr, so do I, but..like my not feeling like I need to be their peen police..I don't feel like they should be mine. I had a buddy tell me, after the fact, that he knew an ex was stepping out. My only response was to laugh and say "ofc she was".

[Shell B]

I think putting it like that minimizes relationships. Of course you're not the peen police and you don't own your significant other. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed to have expectations. When I'm sleeping with someone, I have a spoken expectation that I'm the only person they sleep with unless otherwise noted. I don't need the bullshit of side chick babies, STDs and all that in my life. I'm not the peen police, but I'm the my body, my life, my feelings police. People who are willing to potentially sacrifice my immediate health and well-being in order to cum are not my kind of people. If you need more out of your relationship, be a grown up and talk about it.

[The Grand Nudger]

I get all of that, like I said, I just don't find it in my list of duties to friends or friends duties to me.  That's not to say I haven't ever ratted some fucker out before.  

I'd tell my brother or my sister, but no amount of telling my buddies ever worked anyway.

[Shell B]

Yeah, it's really up to the individual how they want to behave within relationships. Because I would want to be told, I would tell. I would be believed, but I have a very small circle of friends that I've known for decades, so we know each other really well.

[The Grand Nudger]

Anecdotal and only semi relevant.

My two best friends are married...I don;t know if there was ever a time they were faithful to each other..and I;ve know them both and as a couple for..I guess, 20 years?  I field both of their complaints and refuse to confirm any of their suspicions (was it this girl, that guy).  No amount of telling either of them would do a damned thing....so I just ask them how whatever fling they're having is going and tell them to send me hot pics. If they push the issue, I tell them that they need to talk to their wife/hubby.

-they've both been super pissed at me for this over the years, there was a short time where I was persona non grata for one of them and, so..effectively, both of them. However, I credit there having been years to be mad at me and ultimately friends..at least in part, to my insistence on minding my own pecker and the most immediate vag, rather than theirs.... and wherever they put what.

[Shell B]

I wouldn't get involved in that either. My qualms would be that they both know the other is cheating already. I have nothing to offer. If they stay together, then obviously the cheating isn't a deal breaker for them. Armed with that information, I wouldn't talk to either of them about it if it could be avoided. Sounds fucking drama-laden.

[The Grand Nudger]

Surprisingly not, or, at least the way I handle it keeps me out of the drama.  I don't know what those bastards do when I;m not around...though it probably involves boiled bunnies and throwing the stoneware at each other.  

I think they may have been the last ones to realize that they legitimately loved the other, and only after having been married with kids for a grip. Hell, my wife came in halfway through the game and she knew it before either of them did.

-Bringing it back on point.....to me, -any- insertion of myself between or around my friends genitalia sounds like too much drama, for me. I suppose at times it makes me the worst sort of friend, but at other times, just the guy to talk to.

[Shell B]

That's what I mean, I would stay out of that fucking drama at all costs. I like getting into people's shit only as far as it's amusing. Past that, I'm outie.

On a side note, I'm pretty sure one of my best friends had some idea that my ex-husband cheated on me. However, he is said ex's brother, so that slides without question. Me and everyone else knew anyway, so it's not like it was pertinent.

[Edwardo Piet]

I would be believed, but I have a very small circle of friends that I've known for decades, so we know each other really well.

True friends are true friends.

And before anyone says that the tautology I just stated is completely meaningless... consider the phrases "boys will be boys" and "enough is enough".

[Amarok]

No seriously does anyone know how to change a vote . I picked the wrong option .

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The choice does not seem like a choice 

1. If i tell then i'm sparing my friend a potentially unfaithful partner and i clear my discomfort . If he does not believe me then he isn't much of a friend . Ultimately way i believe i'm better off telling.