(November 26, 2017 at 10:53 pm)Catholic_Lady Wrote:(November 26, 2017 at 10:59 am)Hammy Wrote: I feel the same way about my experience of emotions. I can really relate to having so-called "normality" programmed into you and convincing yourself you experience things that most people do, the way most people do, even though you don't.
Ever since living alone I 'feel like' I've been de-programmed, and whenever someone asks me how I feel now I'm like "Wait a minute, what does that even mean? What are people actually talking about? I thought I knew what you folks meant but I'm starting to 'feel like' you experience something a little extra . . . Do you merely mean am I distracting myself and passing time? Do you merely mean am I in physical pain? Do you merely mean am I enjoying the sensual taste of food or warmth? I doubt you merely mean those things."
Of course, I am not suggesting you are remotely unemotional in ways I am (I think one of the bizarre things is I often come across as highly emotional . . . but I now think that's down to intense impulses and desires rather than moods or emotions). I am merely saying that I can really relate to confusing one thing with another (in my case the way most people seem to experience emotions with the way I do, and in your case confusing intimacy, friendship and companionship with sex drive. In fact I may have even had the opposite confusion! It's almost like this whole time I've been confusing my strong primal desires and urges with emotions.), and not knowing the difference because you didn't experience something in the same way as others in the first place. I think I get that.
So, we have certainly experienced confusion about different things, and perhaps in different (or even opposite?) ways, but whereas perhaps some people may respond to your statement that you never knew the difference about X perhaps because you never really experienced X in the first place by thinking something akin to "Huh? What is she talking about? How does that work? How would never having something in the first place mean you didn't know you didn't have it?" . . . I think I actually know exactly what you mean by that.
Now that I think about it, I do remember watching a True Life episode years ago where they were featuring a couple of asexual folks. From what I remember, they all still craved human relationship and partnership. Though one of them did want a romantic relationship, while the other just wanted a close friend.
It's all rather interesting. And because one of my best friends is assexual and a member of an asexual forum called AVEN, I am somewhat familar with the different terms. Like as well as it being possible to be a romatic asexual and an aromantic asexual, there's also stuff like "quoiromantic" which means that they struggle to define or tell whether they feel romantic feels or not so they aren't sure whether they are romantic or not. And if they do feel romance they may get it mixed up with a strong platonic friendship and vice-versa.
There's also "Lithromantic":
Quote: Lithromantic (also known as akoiromantic or apromantic) is a romantic orientation on the aromantic spectrum. Somebody who is lithromantic can feel romantic attraction towards others and also enjoy being in romantic relationships but only in theory.
Which is when you very much like the idea of being in love but you would never actually like it to happen in reality. It's enjoying the fantasy of romance without desiring a romantic relationship.
Then, amongst the asexual community, there's also the term 'squish'. And a 'squish' is a platonic non-romantic crush. In which the person's friend feels more than just a friend but there is no romantic or sexual feelings involved. It's all very interesting, I think.
