What type of drunk are you?

[Haipule]

I'm mostly a happy drunk and often post under the influence, like now, but sometimes angrily--sorry!

People often ask me how I lost so much weight so fast? A) I quite drinking beer and started drinking whiskey!

However, whiskey(the brown stuff) will turn any man into a complete asshole! So, I started drinking gin(the clear stuff) so now I'm just an asshole!

However, I have to be careful because of my extremely high, and expensive, tolerance! I have to be careful not to layer so many drinks as I can easy go from sober to black-out! When I black-out I turn into a subconscious jackwagon, so I've been told.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I used to be an angry, viscous drunk.  No longer. 

If any of you want to quit drinking, here's how I did it (this advice may not be for everyone.  Consult a licensed medical professional):

1.  Get drunk.  Seriously, world-class, Brendan Behan level drunk.

2.  Start a riot.  A small one will do.

3.  When the cops show up, find the biggest, meanest-looking one of the bunch.

4.  Vomit on him.

5.  The first time he hits you with his truncheon, slur, 'Yer mam's tits hit me harder than that.'

6.  Wake up in hospital, handcuffed to the bed, and listen to the nurse explain how long it'll be till the 19 stitches can be removed from your scalp.

If you drink after that, you deserve the worst than can happen.

Boru

[Rev. Rye]

Or you could just do what Christopher Titus and Richard Pryor did and light yourselves on goddam fire.





I guess it’s like a combination of negative reinforcement and that old “tie a string around your finger to remember” trick, except it’s with goddam Fire.

[Haipule]

My advice to people whom drink, especially the young and ignorant.

1). Brown stuff, including beer, abused in excess, will turn you into a jerk. Whisky/Scotch should be enjoyed with friends.
2). The clear stuff rum, vodka, gin, tequila is much safer.
3). If you want to avoid a hangover, do not use mixers except ice, water or club soda--no sugars or juice!
4). When drinking, ALWAYS have a water chaser.
5.) Mixing any alcohol with rum is a guaranteed black-out. Therefore, Long Island Ice Teas are psychotic. If you start with rum, stick with rum.

[Thumpalumpacus]

No "former drunk" option.

I was a mix when I drank, sometimes happy, sometimes bitter and angry, sometimes quiet and philosophical ... too many weird feelings, I like being me without the amplitude.

[Cyberman]

I didn't bother with the poll, but I vary from happy drunk to morose drunk, averaging out at placid drunk. Right now I'm the worst kind of drunk.

Sober.

[Fireball]

So, I was sitting in a bar in the Chicago Tower, and a tourist commented about how windy it is in Chicago. I explained that it is so windy, that, coupled with the updraft alongside skyscrapers, one can step out a window and not fall to the ground. The tourist shook his head in disbelief. I went over to the window, climbed out, and let go of the casing; I stood there with my arms across my chest with pride. After I had climbed back in, the tourist climbed out, immediately performing the falling part out of "Dog Eat Dog" (Kamikaze from the hundredth floor, Swan dive to the street) by Ted Nugent. The bartender said, "You are one mean drunk, Superman". So there you have it- mean as hell and a huge imagination.

[polymath257]

I put philosophical drunk because I get very philosophical when I drink--much more than when sober. Half the shit I post here is drunk posts by the way. (Couldn't tell, couldja?)

But after a point, I just get loud. Very, very loud. Not obnoxious, just loud.

I'm philosophical and loud when I am sober.

if anything I am philosophical and *quiet* when drunk.

[Cyberman]

So there you have it- mean as hell and a huge imagination.

I'm imagining you as a bottle of whisky liqueur...

[Fireball]

So there you have it- mean as hell and a huge imagination.

I'm imagining you as a bottle of whisky liqueur...

Yecch. Common misconception. I bought a shot bottle of that once to try it. Never again. This is my idea of the life of the Fireball-

Women, alcohol and fire. What could go wrong?