Joking vs mockery, respect or disrespect?

[thesummerqueen]

[Nine]

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Somewhat off topic, but I think you'll agree:

David and I were talking about an article a friend posted (she's a youth psychologist) and my imminent 10 year high school reunion. I'm not keen to go to the reunion. The plan right now is to drive up anyway because friends who live across the country are likely to be in town, so it's the perfect time to grab lunch, but I have no plan to go to whatever "ceremony" they have going on. Anyone I still want to see or be in touch with, I am in contact with via some route through the internet. I have witnessed their changes and growth, and I know where they're at in life at this moment. No need to be voyeuristic on all the other numbnuts I went to school with.

Which brings me about to the point we were discussing. The article's premise was that (basically) we never truly leave high school. For some reason, whatever roles we took on there supposedly define us and we very easily slip back into those roles. And then there are these reunions where we can go back and see how everyone turned out after so much time. I've heard from older friends that the same old cliques are there.

Who are you people? I dislike who I was in high school. I disliked many of the people in my high school. I wasn't part of any group or clique, but wandered aimlessly with a shifting group of other wanderers who didn't fit in either. I was nerdy enough to talk to smart kids, but not socially inept. I was in the art classes, and friends with people in the drama club, and friends with musicians, and friends with popular people. High school was a way-point, not a defining portion of my life. I couldn't wait to get out and get a job. Then I got one and started making some money. My early 20's were incredibly formative - I learned more about history through my own reading choices, I suddenly became steeped in skepticism, I moved out so I didn't have to play at being religious anymore. I was thrust into a world of being on my own, being single, treading the waters of criticism and flattery alike. I became me. Note - I wasn't at college either. David agrees with this - he said the years after he quit college and got into the workforce also honed everything he is.

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[Rayaan]

Sometimes - I just don't feel like showing respect - although my lack of respect for someone doesn't always mean that it turns into a strong form of hatred or anger.

But, I tend to show respect to people most of the time whether I meet them the first time or see them regularly. That is just a part of who I am.

I don't expect people to show respect to me either. If they do, then that's good. And if they don't, no problem.

[Kayenneh]

Sometimes - I just don't feel like showing respect - although my lack of respect for someone doesn't always mean that it turns into a strong form of hatred or anger.

I agree. It takes truly a lot for me to feel more than a slight dislike of someone I don't respect, usually I just ignore people I can't find common ground with (IRL, that is ). I've come to the conclusion that the opinions of a person I can't respect, should be of no consequence to me, so why bother?

I don't expect people to show respect to me either. If they do, then that's good. And if they don't, no problem.

Which makes me wonder, what kind of person demands respect and out of what reasons? As I earlier stated, I give all fellow humans the respect they deserve, since I won't put myself higher as a person, and I hope that other people can treat me with the same respect. But to be respected because of anything else and demand it.. Now that I don't understand.

[Rayaan]

Which makes me wonder, what kind of person demands respect and out of what reasons?

I think that people who demand the most respect for themselves are just not self-sufficient enough. They care too much about what other people think about them.

Well, I think we all care about getting respect from others - to a certain degree - but it shouldn't come to a point where we feel too concerned about it.

[Nine]

I'm polite to strangers or people I don't know that well and will be nice to them. I'll even go out of my way to help them. I don't think that's the same as respect.

[Kayenneh]

I'm polite to strangers or people I don't know that well and will be nice to them. I'll even go out of my way to help them. I don't think that's the same as respect.

Good manners?

[Nine]

Good manners?

Sure, but they get respect if they show me they are worth respecting.

[fr0d0]

Door mat??

Nah niceness rocks. I came to thinking that mean people get way too many breaks, and so tried to be that way. As much as a doormat ever could. All you get is a burden to carry. Now it doesn't seem so easy to shake. The guilt is killing me! Niceness kills too. Call Violet!!!!

[thesummerqueen]

Initial politeness is what I consider falls under Kay's basic human respect laws. They get that much, and no further. I mean, even someone I argue with, I'm not going to let a door slam in their face or something. Beyond that...