My Christian Uncle

[Losty]

Clarifying question: Does your uncle not know you're an atheist?

No he doesn't. Most people in my personal life don't.

[Esquilax]

Losteroonie, you know the guy, you must have some inkling as to what his reaction would be, right? If he's as supportive and cool as you say, he may surprise you and, if he actually does look down on your for your atheism... well, that's not exactly the kind of person I'd personally want in my corner. Conditional love, over differing opinions, isn't really love at all, it's just a reward for allowing that person ownership over certain parts of you.

That's just me, though. You obviously know the situation better than us.

[Losty]

Charge your phone girl.

Hehe thanks for making me smile. That little lightning strike next to the battery signifies that my phone is connected to the charger :p

---

Losteroonie, you know the guy, you must have some inkling as to what his reaction would be, right? If he's as supportive and cool as you say, he may surprise you and, if he actually does look down on your for your atheism... well, that's not exactly the kind of person I'd personally want in my corner. Conditional love, over differing opinions, isn't really love at all, it's just a reward for allowing that person ownership over certain parts of you.

That's just me, though. You obviously know the situation better than us.

Well, I don't really know what kind of advice I was looking for. I know the truth is that he will most likely be seriously disappointed. Whether it's in me or just in that I don't believe. I will feel like it's in me.
You know, I know that conditional love isn't really love at all. And I honestly think there's a decent chance that he will still love me anyways. It's just, I'm so tired of being a disappointment to everyone in my life.
That's all. Just me having a pity party. I'll get over it.

[Minimalist]

How can you ask something for "help" if you don't believe in it in the first place?


He may be a great guy but he seems a little too wrapped up in jesus shit for his own good.

[Amalynne0]

I'm just afraid to tell him that. I mean, I just don't want to lose that one last piece of family that I can look up to, even if it's just an illusion.

I'm not sure about you but I embraced atheism because I didn't want to live an illusion. But really, unless it's ripping you up inside, just move on with your day and reflect on it at a later time. You'll find the right words, you're a smart cookie

[Esquilax]

It's just, I'm so tired of being a disappointment to everyone in my life.
That's all. Just me having a pity party. I'll get over it.

If these people aren't supporting you, if your uncle would be disappointed in you for having a difference in opinion on a single issue, then the failure isn't yours. They are letting you down, not the reverse, and the fact that you care enough to not want to disappoint them, when they can't even let go of their petty beliefs even in the face of how hurt you are by that, just demonstrates that the one here who actually gives a shit is you. But you aren't their fucking monkey, and you don't have to dance to whatever organ grinder bullshit they want you to in order to be "blessed" with their care and affection.

You are your own person, not a reflection on your family. If they can't take you being a grown ass adult and making your own choices, then fuck 'em.

[Thumpalumpacus]

You are going to disappoint folks from time to time. I know where you're at on this; I let my grandmother die thinking I was still a believer because I couldn't bear to break her heart ... but now I wonder if I wasn't just selling her short? Additionally, I felt very bad for lying to her.

I know what I'd do in your shoes -- I'd speak the truth and let the chips fall where they may -- but that's only because of my experience, and the distaste I felt being a liar.

To thine own self be true, young lady. Good luck.

[Losty]

Thanks guys

ShaMan, I didn't meditate(I don't even know how to) but the deep breaths were nice

[Thumpalumpacus]

Meditation takes many different forms. Ideally, I'm meditating when I'm playing my guitar -- I am inside the moment and not thinking at all, just playing.

[Dystopia]

My uncle is a great guy. He has always been there for me and never judged me or shut me out like the rest of my family. He is the dad to me that my dad should have been. I have lost most of my family due to my divorce and my being a "bad Christian", but he's always been by my side.

Your family started not caring about you because you're not a Christian? Damn... What's the problem with the divorce? Is it because it violates religious rules?

He encourages me and he loves me and I love him. I can't lie to him. I just can't. It would feel like a violation of a trusting relationship we have and I don't have many people I really trust. Trust is something I just can't do usually. I've been avoiding the subject until today I just felt like I couldn't avoid it.

You're similar to me, trust is something I have a hard time putting on people. I tend to distrust everyone I meet until proven otherwise. If a stranger randomly talks to me, I immediately assume nothing good will come from it. If you love your uncle and he loves you, plus considering he accepts you as who you are, there is no problem in saying 'I do not have faith uncle, just try to give me a practical piece of advise please. I love you'.

Can I ask why you have PSTD? If you want to answer, of course. No pressure.