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Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:04 pm
(This post was last modified: February 18, 2015 at 9:05 pm by KUSA.)
Some idiot over at http://www.christianforumsite.com/thread...ice.41677/ posted this garbage. I can't get over the stupidity of it. Notice the part that says that the Manufacturer is not responsible for the defect.
Quote:RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion in the mental component
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E. (Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility. Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father any time by 'Knee mail'!
Because He Lives
Jesus was born of the virgin Mary by the Holy Spirit, was crucified on the cross for our sins, died then rose again to be seated at the right hand of God the Father all mighty to reign for ever and ever.
John3:16 says
" For God so loved the world that HE gave HIS only begotten SON, that whoever believes in HIM should not perish but have everlasting life"
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:06 pm
I bet the idiot thinks he is very clever.
We know better.
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:14 pm
The implication is funny.
We are a manufactured item that has a defect. Hmmm. Who would be responsible for that defect?
(I read their little caveat, but the only way there is a defect is if the original design was flawed, yeah?)
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:18 pm
I actually thought that was rather funny. The last few lines ruined it, but still for an evangelical message it's not bad. At least it's original.
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:24 pm
(February 18, 2015 at 9:04 pm)KUSA Wrote: Quote:RECALL NOTICE:
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-Morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
...
The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect, is providing factory-authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this defect.
I'm surprised the obvious dishonesty of that statement didn't jump out - shows the effect of wearing God goggles.
I think it's kind of cute though.
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:25 pm
I'll believe their commitment to good QC when they fix my goddamned hip.
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:32 pm
If the product needs recalling, it's an indicator that the manufacturer is incompetent and is completely liable.
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:36 pm
Sue the fucker for damages!
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:37 pm
"The Manufacturer, who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect"
Then who is, pray tell? Surely Adam and Eve weren't at fault for using the free will they were given. not that giving the warning "you will die" is a good deterrent to someone who doesn't know what die means.
And apparently this "fix" doesn't actually do anything, because if christians really acted so much better than non christians, and every one of them led exemplar lives, that would be an excellent conversion tool.
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RE: Christian recall notice
February 18, 2015 at 9:42 pm
That's just fucking stupid.
I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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