The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[Foxaèr]

Indeed.

[Cod]

Indeed.

I like you man... But you can be a real dick sometimes.

[Foxaèr]

And the compliments just keep coming.

[Cod]

And the compliments just keep coming.  

I know your heart's in the right place.. All the world is a stage and all that.

[Joods]

We're such a shitty species sometimes.

Yes, yes we are. Some more than others. 

I've seen most of you write things that are smart, well thought-out, kind, often outrageously funny, etc. And yet here is this same group of people, at loggerheads over something that has already caused someone immense grief. Do you guys honestly feel like anything anyone says at this point is going to significantly change anyone's behavior or thoughts? 

No. But the majority of us do value empathy and at least some sort of compassion towards our fellow humans. To expect less is to remain ignorant to someone else's plight. 

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Also, I agree with Vulcan. Those comments were uncalled for and ill timed, but not with particular malicious intent. Whether or not you agree with Wyzas's (in my opinion convoluted and... no just no) way of 'helping her move on', the simple fact is that he was trying to do something positive. (I think? Never mind I'm out of this.) 

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bold mine. 

In what way, is a guy who jokingly says " Um.... I'm pregnant", after a woman just painfully expressed her grief, positive? Also - his follow up post of "Too soon?" is also inappropriate and clearly shows zero respect towards someone who was supposed to be his friend. 

I'll wait while you come up with anything remotely justifiable about that. There is, and I repeat because it seems to be a huge missed point here, Nothing remotely funny or positive or nice or good or decent or kind or respectful or helpful about what he said. It was just flat out fucking rude and uncalled for. 

The fact that he's only now just offering any sort of apology, nearly three months after the insult was made, is pathetic in itself and the only reason he did so is because he's being called out in this thread. His lack of sincerity only shows that he couldn't be man enough to apologize in the CIJS thread when it actually happened. And yes - I am being rather harsh about it because sometimes people need to be hit on the head with common sense. You just don't go around saying hurtful things to people in their time of grief. And if the person saying those things can't see how hurtful they are, then they just need to keep their damn mouth shut for a change.  

The fact that CL has accepted his apology says way more about her character than it does about his. CL is the sort of person we should all strive to become (regardless of religious beliefs). She's kind and she has had to have more courage where this place is concerned, than any other theist who posts here. Even during debates or heated topics when she's received a ton of flack for her views, she has kept her dignity and her wits about her. She has a poise and a personality that shows how humans ought to behave towards one another. She is such an incredibly sweet person and I cannot imagine why anyone would ever think that saying the things that were said to her, is okay. She certainly didn't deserve any of that shit. She is by no means perfect, but she's a hell of a lot better than most people. And though I disagree with her on religious subjects and a few other controversial topics, I feel honored that she considers me her friend.

[LadyForCamus]

Indeed.

I’ll remember that when you are looking for some.

[Foxaèr]

Indeed.

I’ll remember that when you are looking for some.

Thank you. 

[DodosAreDead]

I've seen most of you write things that are smart, well thought-out, kind, often outrageously funny, etc. And yet here is this same group of people, at loggerheads over something that has already caused someone immense grief. Do you guys honestly feel like anything anyone says at this point is going to significantly change anyone's behavior or thoughts? 

No. But the majority of us do value empathy and at least some sort of compassion towards our fellow humans. To expect less is to remain ignorant to someone else's plight. 

I know, and those are all good things. The point is that you've been going back and forth for at least 4 pages here, and a few more in the CIJS thread a few months ago. Wyzas still maintains that he doesn't regret saying what he said. Everyone's made their point and showed whatever they believe in and think. Anything more you say would just be childish, at this point. 

---

Also, I agree with Vulcan. Those comments were uncalled for and ill timed, but not with particular malicious intent. Whether or not you agree with Wyzas's (in my opinion convoluted and... no just no) way of 'helping her move on', the simple fact is that he was trying to do something positive. (I think? Never mind I'm out of this.) 

---

bold mine. 

In what way, is a guy who jokingly says " Um.... I'm pregnant", after a woman just painfully expressed her grief, positive? Also - his follow up post of "Too soon?" is also inappropriate and clearly shows zero respect towards someone who was supposed to be his friend. 

I'll wait while you come up with anything remotely justifiable about that. There is, and I repeat because it seems to be a huge missed point here, Nothing remotely funny or positive or nice or good or decent or kind or respectful or helpful about what he said. It was just flat out fucking rude and uncalled for. 

I should have been more clear in my previous post. I meant to say 'he was trying to do something he thought was positive.' Added the italic part. Whether you think what he was trying to do (the way I see it, helping her 'move on'?) was positive or not, whether it had the intended effect or not, etc etc is a completely different point. Also, the 'too soon' is in line with his original intention. 
Again, this is all based off of his claims in this thread. If he's just saying it was to help her move on when in reality he actually was doing it out of malice, then yeah, that's pretty damn low. I just don't think that's what happened. 
PS: I'm not trying to justify anything he's said. I agree with you, it was completely inappropriate. Why he thought it was appropriate is beyond me.

[Joods]

I know, and those are all good things. The point is that you've been going back and forth for at least 4 pages here, and a few more in the CIJS thread a few months ago. Wyzas still maintains that he doesn't regret saying what he said. Everyone's made their point and showed whatever they believe in and think. Anything more you say would just be childish, at this point.

Four pages is worth it if causes people to stop and think before they post. I think dialogue should be kept open if only to bring awareness of the assholishness of others to light. You know, to serve as a warning. Besides - I know he doesn't care. Kit certainly doesn't care, as evidenced by his posts here. But if one person can see where what was done was wrong, then my posts were worth it. I'm okay with that. 

I should have been more clearer in my previous post. I meant to say 'he was trying to do something he thought was positive.' Added the italic part. Whether you think what he was trying to do (the way I see it, helping her 'move on'?) was positive or not, whether it had the intended effect or not, etc etc is a completely different point. Also, the 'too soon' is in line with his original intention. 
Again, this is all based off of his claims in this thread. If he's just saying it was to help her move on when in reality he actually was doing it out of malice, then yeah, that's pretty damn low. I just don't think that's what happened. 
PS: I'm not trying to justify anything he's said. I agree with you, it was completely inappropriate. Why he thought it was appropriate is beyond me.

Thank you for the clarification. I think he can spin it any way he wants to at this point. And I honestly don't see how anyone, even him, can see where what was said was even remotely helpful. It just boggles my mind that someone considers those words "helpful". It won't change the fact that it was still a shitty thing to say and it's out there for all the interwebz to see.

[DodosAreDead]

I should have been more clearer in my previous post. 

I'm cringing so hard at 'more clearer'. Now that's 'there for all the interwebz to see'. Yikes

Four pages is worth it if causes people to stop and think before they post. I think dialogue should be kept open if only to bring awareness of the assholishness of others to light. You know, to serve as a warning. Besides - I know he doesn't care. Kit certainly doesn't care, as evidenced by his posts here. But if one person can see where what was done was wrong, then my posts were worth it. I'm okay with that. 

I guess I just don't have faith in people... and that they can change and become better. But you seem to, and that's great. Keep at it.