Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Longhorn]

I keep having dreams about you. I wish you didn't surround yourself with assholes so maybe we could be friends.

[Shai Hulud]

CIJS - Dude, it's an honor to be Best Man in your wedding in July, but if I weren't feeling compelled by a need to not be an asshole, I'd bail on you. Let's do a little review, okay? You made me give an opinion on the 800+ items on your wedding registries, individually, and that was enough to make me start pondering the decision. Then you had me fly across the country to suit shop, which I honestly couldn't afford either at the time. When you and bride-to-be made me help you choose which of your hundreds of engagement photos were going to be used for the Save the Date cards, that was annoying too. Then when you texted the other day saying that your mom essentially called me a liar, because none of the shirts she saw while doing the shirt shopping are the size I gave you, that pissed me off too, but since you asked me to get re-measured, I went to the nearest men's store this morning, having to wait until it opened rather than go into work on my day off as planned, and I got re-measured for you, only for you to essentially claim I had to be lying, because my arm measurements weren't the same as when we got suit fitted. I feel incredibly guilty for being angry at you right now, but you know what, if you bother texting again tonight, I may not answer.

Edit: CJIS - Dude, calling me and sounding petulant doesn't help. Nor does giving me options like "buy a collar extender and the shirt my mom is holding for us" vs. "We can send you a photo of the shirt and the composition for the texture and what it's made out of and then YOU can find one".

[brewer]

CIJS - Dude, it's an honor to be Best Man in your wedding in July, but if I weren't feeling compelled by a need to not be an asshole, I'd bail on you.  Let's do a little review, okay?  You made me give an opinion on the 800+ items on your wedding registries, individually, and that was enough to make me start pondering the decision.  Then you had me fly across the country to suit shop, which I honestly couldn't afford either at the time.   When you and bride-to-be made me help you choose which of your hundreds of engagement photos were going to be used for the Save the Date cards, that was annoying too.  Then when you texted the other day saying that your mom essentially called me a liar, because none of the shirts she saw while doing the shirt shopping are the size I gave you, that pissed me off too, but since you asked me to get re-measured, I went to the nearest men's store this morning, having to wait until it opened rather than go into work on my day off as planned, and I got re-measured for you, only for you to essentially claim I had to be lying, because my arm measurements weren't the same as when we got suit fitted.  I feel incredibly guilty for being angry at you right now, but you know what, if you bother texting again tonight, I may not answer.

Edit:  CJIS - Dude, calling me and sounding petulant doesn't help.  Nor does giving me options like "buy a collar extender and the shirt my mom is holding for us" vs. "We can send you a photo of the shirt and the composition for the texture and what it's made out of and then YOU can find one".

I mean no offense, but are you sure this is a dude???

[Shai Hulud]

I mean no offense, but are you sure this is a dude???

Relatively.  He claims his bride is the real hardcore one of the two.  Also he just texted again to ask if I have any leather dress shoes already or if I need to go buy a pair for the wedding.

[brewer]

I mean no offense, but are you sure this is a dude???

Relatively.  He claims his bride is the real hardcore one of the two.  Also he just texted again to ask if I have any leather dress shoes already or if I need to go buy a pair for the wedding.

Maybe she just owns his testicles now. That's not a good sign. 

There is still time to back out. Think about it.

[Fireball]

Relatively.  He claims his bride is the real hardcore one of the two.  Also he just texted again to ask if I have any leather dress shoes already or if I need to go buy a pair for the wedding.

Maybe she just owns his testicles now. That's not a good sign. 

There is still time to back out. Think about it.

It is for Shai, but the marrying dude is like a moth to a flame, at this point. And yeah, she prolly has a special little purse inside her regular purse where he checks his manhood in before he leaves her. As far as dress shoes go, I have a real chuckle. I have a pair of black Red Wing work shoes that I wear for "dress up", whatever occasion- weddings, funerals or visiting the custodians of my money. They aren't shiny (they have a nice, clean blackness), but I'm a crusty, curmudgeonly old man, and I don't give a pinch of feces what people think about my shoes. If I'm dead, they're going to be looking at an urn, and if they're dead, they don't care. The remaining people are related to people getting married, most of whom I don't even know, so they can whisper behind their hands, if they care to. I'll be at the bar looking to see if there is a Scotch or bourbon that I haven't tasted, yet. Especially if it's a hosted bar! Rare, though.

[Shai Hulud]

Relatively.  He claims his bride is the real hardcore one of the two.  Also he just texted again to ask if I have any leather dress shoes already or if I need to go buy a pair for the wedding.

Maybe she just owns his testicles now. That's not a good sign. 

There is still time to back out. Think about it.

She probably does, and nah, I feel too committed at this point. Though, was just informed that as Best Man, I have to be up on the altar with them. That will be...weird.

Maybe she just owns his testicles now. That's not a good sign. 

There is still time to back out. Think about it.

It is for Shai, but the marrying dude is like a moth to a flame, at this point. And yeah, she prolly has a special little purse inside her regular purse where he checks his manhood in before he leaves her. As far as dress shoes go, I have a real chuckle. I have a pair of black Red Wing work shoes that I wear for "dress up", whatever occasion- weddings, funerals or visiting the custodians of my money. They aren't shiny (they have a nice, clean blackness), but I'm a crusty, curmudgeonly old man, and I don't give a pinch of feces what people think about my shoes. If I'm dead, they're going to be looking at an urn, and if they're dead, they don't care. The remaining people are related to people getting married, most of whom I don't even know, so they can whisper behind their hands, if they care to. I'll be at the bar looking to see if there is a Scotch or bourbon that I haven't tasted, yet. Especially if it's a hosted bar! Rare, though.

It's a Catholic wedding, I'm sure the booze shall flow freely like the Spice Melange from my sandwormy bowels. So if you care to drop by and crash, I do have a plus one that will never get used. Love the way you're thinking though Fireball!

[J a c k]

ewwwww! Weddings! Hate em.

[The Valkyrie]

ewwwww! Weddings! Hate em.

I like going TO them.

I'll never be one of the two primary participants.

[The Valkyrie]

CIJS...

Radio person. You interview Justin Hayward, who is coming to New Zealand for a couple of concerts. You mention Nights in white satin and Forever Autumn, two of my all time favourite songs, and say they will be part of the concert - confirmed with Justin himself...

...then you play a jazz/blues remake of Nights in White Satin, which is one of the worst remakes I've ever heard!

Why interview the man and then not play the song as he sang them??