Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...

[Joods]

You know you can make an anonymous call to Children and Youth services. Those kids should come first and getting them somewhere safe should be a priority. Especially to those who know the situation firsthand.

[Kernel Sohcahtoa]

CIJS,

Recently, one of the managers in my retail store gave her notice: she has another job lined up, and hopefully, she is happy and has a clear vision of where she's going; she's unique, and she certainly has a wonderful personality and temperament for the job, so I hope that she is able to use those talents in her new line of work . 

With that said, I informed the store manager that I'd be interested in taking that job: I'm currently still in the management training program.  However, today the store manager pulled me aside in her office and told me that she wanted to promote from within our store: she wanted to move me into the position.  However, she told me that her corporate superior already had two candidates in mind from other stores of ours who were next in line for this type of management position: via her corporate superior, she also stated that I would first have to be in a floor supervisor position before I could actually hold a manager position.  As a result, she informed me of the person who was selected and asked me if I'd be interested in a floor supervisor position if one opened up in another store; I said yes (I'd also like to note that she seemed upset for me).

Now, I'm happy for the guy who's getting the position (I'll do my best to help him), because apparently, he was an actual manager: his manager position got cut and he ended up taking a floor supervisor position.  However, I can't help but notice that this is the second time that management has promoted a new manager/supervisor despite the fact that I've been in the training program for over a year and have expressed interest in taking on a leadership role within the organization; I've also been working in this particular store location for multiple years.  

With that said, I'm open to the possibility that I'm just not good enough and am not what the organization wants, in which case, I'd have to consider other possibilities (or careers even).   Well, for now, I guess I'll see where things go.

[Joods]

CIJS,

Recently, one of the managers in my retail store gave her notice: she has another job lined up, and hopefully, she is happy and has a clear vision of where she's going; she's unique, and she certainly has a wonderful personality and temperament for the job, so I hope that she is able to use those talents in her new line of work . 

With that said, I informed the store manager that I'd be interested in taking that job: I'm currently still in the management training program.  However, today the store manager pulled me aside in her office and told me that she wanted to promote from within our store: she wanted to move me into the position.  However, she told me that her corporate superior already had two candidates in mind from other stores of ours who were next in line for this type of management position: via her corporate superior, she also stated that I would first have to be in a floor supervisor position before I could actually hold a manager position.  As a result, she informed me of the person who was selected and asked me if I'd be interested in a floor supervisor position if one opened up in another store; I said yes (I'd also like to note that she seemed upset for me).

Now, I'm happy for the guy who's getting the position (I'll do my best to help him), because apparently, he was an actual manager: his manager position got cut and he ended up taking a floor supervisor position.  However, I can't help but notice that this is the second time that management has promoted a new manager/supervisor despite the fact that I've been in the training program for over a year and have expressed interest in taking on a leadership role within the organization; I've also been working in this particular store location for multiple years.  

With that said, I'm open to the possibility that I'm just not good enough and am not what the organization wants, in which case, I'd have to consider other possibilities (or careers even).   Well, for now, I guess I'll see where things go.

You've taken this news much better than I ever could. And, CIJS - their continued, intentional, passing you over for promotions is clearly their loss. If they cannot see what a diamond in the rough they have, then perhaps another organization will see the value that resides within such a fine, outstanding person and put you in a position where you can fully utilize all of your leadership skills. 

[Kernel Sohcahtoa]

CIJS,

Recently, one of the managers in my retail store gave her notice: she has another job lined up, and hopefully, she is happy and has a clear vision of where she's going; she's unique, and she certainly has a wonderful personality and temperament for the job, so I hope that she is able to use those talents in her new line of work . 

With that said, I informed the store manager that I'd be interested in taking that job: I'm currently still in the management training program.  However, today the store manager pulled me aside in her office and told me that she wanted to promote from within our store: she wanted to move me into the position.  However, she told me that her corporate superior already had two candidates in mind from other stores of ours who were next in line for this type of management position: via her corporate superior, she also stated that I would first have to be in a floor supervisor position before I could actually hold a manager position.  As a result, she informed me of the person who was selected and asked me if I'd be interested in a floor supervisor position if one opened up in another store; I said yes (I'd also like to note that she seemed upset for me).

Now, I'm happy for the guy who's getting the position (I'll do my best to help him), because apparently, he was an actual manager: his manager position got cut and he ended up taking a floor supervisor position.  However, I can't help but notice that this is the second time that management has promoted a new manager/supervisor despite the fact that I've been in the training program for over a year and have expressed interest in taking on a leadership role within the organization; I've also been working in this particular store location for multiple years.  

With that said, I'm open to the possibility that I'm just not good enough and am not what the organization wants, in which case, I'd have to consider other possibilities (or careers even).   Well, for now, I guess I'll see where things go.

You've taken this news much better than I ever could. And, CIJS - their continued, intentional, passing you over for promotions is clearly their loss. If they cannot see what a diamond in the rough they have, then perhaps another organization will see the value that resides within such a fine, outstanding person and put you in a position where you can fully utilize all of your leadership skills. 

I really appreciate your post, Joods.  I must admit that I've been upset by this.  However, as tempting as it is to blame management and essentially dehumanize them, I've concluded that I'm ultimately the one who chose to pursue this particular path, and as a result, I need to take responsibility for my choice and hold myself accountable.  Having acknowledged this to myself, if my organization continues to pass me up, then it seems (as you suggested) that finding another organization to work for may be an ideal BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) for me. 

With that said, I guess I'll just continue to be myself and to keep chipping away at that dream of mine: becoming a leader in the workplace who actually earns the respect of his teammates and who can inspire them to realize that their hard work is meaningful and makes a difference.

[GrandizerII]

You've taken this news much better than I ever could. And, CIJS - their continued, intentional, passing you over for promotions is clearly their loss. If they cannot see what a diamond in the rough they have, then perhaps another organization will see the value that resides within such a fine, outstanding person and put you in a position where you can fully utilize all of your leadership skills. 

I really appreciate your post, Joods.  I must admit that I've been upset by this.  However, as tempting as it is to blame management and essentially dehumanize them, I've concluded that I'm ultimately the one who chose to pursue this particular path, and as a result, I need to take responsibility for my choice and hold myself accountable.  Having acknowledged this to myself, if my organization continues to pass me up, then it seems (as you suggested) that finding another organization to work for may be an ideal BATNA (best alternative to a negotiated agreement) for me. 

With that said, I guess I'll just continue to be myself and to keep chipping away at that dream of mine: becoming a leader in the workplace who actually earns the respect of his teammates and who can inspire them to realize that their hard work is meaningful and makes a difference.

People in general dont give two shits about honesty and genuineness. They would rather be charmed by bullshitters than follow the example of someone like you.

[KevinM1]

CIJS -

I really wish your boyfriend/fiancé/whatever was actually, you know, supportive.  I know you love him, but every time you talk about him there's a sadness in your voice as you try to play his lack of ambition and emotional support off as a joke.  We both know it's not funny.  

Is that why I haven't met him yet?  Because you're afraid I'll see him for the loser I'm all but sure he is?  That I'll be disappointed in you because you wasted the best years of your life with him?  I'm already there.  I love you, but every day you stay with him is a mistake.  If he cared for you as you do him, he would've made a few meaningful compromises by now.  Instead, it's a largely one-way relationship, with you bending over backwards with the hope of generating a genuine response from him.

You've let him skate by with justifications.  Some legit, most not.  And now, you're nearly 40 with nothing to show for it.  Because you were willing to wait for an asshole who really doesn't care for you.  Not really.  A true partner wouldn't tell you to stop talking about things because you're making him sad.  He wouldn't slum as a night security guard when he was a lawyer.  He wouldn't make you drive an extra hour or two on a busy (and in winter, snowy/icy) highway every weekend to see him.  He should, in all respects, meet you halfway.

I fear that this endeavor to build a new house will break you.  I'm not convinced he's going to sell his mom's house.  He has a cushy life with you being his weekend girlfriend who's willing to do just about anything to keep him happy.  And even if he does, it might not turn out the way you hope.  You're desperately pinning your hopes on this house.  You think that if you can finally live together, all your problems will be solved.  Except, he's going to be the same guy.  And, deep down, I think you realize it.

I'll be here for you, regardless of what happens.  I just hope he doesn't crush your heart.  You've given up too much already.

[Aroura]

I'm tired of all social media and news. The amount of negative input is overwhelming. Including from this site. Most threads and most posts make me unhappy or uncomfortable.
I think I need to disconnect from the WWW for the most part.

[KevinM1]

I'm tired of all social media and news.  The amount of negative input is overwhelming.  Including from this site. Most threads and most posts make me unhappy or uncomfortable.
I think I need to disconnect from the WWW for the most part.

Definitely understand where you're coming from. I've changed probably 80% of my usage habits because I'm tired of being angry and/or sad all the time.

[brewer]

I'm tired of all social media and news.  The amount of negative input is overwhelming.  Including from this site. Most threads and most posts make me unhappy or uncomfortable.
I think I need to disconnect from the WWW for the most part.

Only read my posts and you'll be just fine.

[Joods]

CIJS -

Some of us have no choice but to shop at Walmart. In order to save money for a family of five, we go for convenience and cost and that means shopping there.  

So, bigwigs at Walmart - how about you either use ALL of the available lanes for checking out or stop advertising commercials on TV that show you really do that, when in fact, out of 30 available lanes, you only employ half - at 10pm three days before fucking christmas when everyone and their uncle are at that store. 

In addition - you don't close the exits to both the lawn and garden and the home sections of the store, leaving only the grocery exits unlocked. Perhaps the township would like to be informed that you illegally lock doors where signs are posted stating "These doors to remain unlocked while building is occupied". The store was occupied with hundreds of people. Idiots.