A Simple Way to Shut Up a Street Preacher

[coffeeveritas]

Considering all of the proselytising that has been going in my school due to the elections (as well as unpleasant conversations with preachers/street evangelists in the past), I thought I'd make a simple guide as to disarming these loud-mouthed know-it-alls using one simple Bible verse.

Should you find yourself in a situation involving this type of Christian:

1. Ask the Christian for his/her Bible.

2. Locate and read (out loud) Matthew 6:5. http://goo.gl/mk1Qc

3. Watch the magic happen!

We had a street preacher across the street from our music venue/ministry back in my home town. Typically the staff would just roll their eyes at him and try to ignore him. But a lot of kids hung out in front of the place and when we'd go up to talk to them the crazy guy across the street at least gave us something to talk about. It was along the lines of, "That guy is crazy, it's like he hasn't even read the Bible."

It'd be interesting to quote the verses from Isaiah that the Gospels quote about Jesus, which clearly state that His mission is a mission of peace, and mercy to the poor/oppressed. Or the fact that the only people Jesus condemns in the Bible are self-righteous religious leaders who oppress people with their over-bearing religious views. I might get no where, but it would be interesting to try.

Plan B: Wear a pink shirt (guys only) and stand next to the street preacher with a megaphone and keep saying, "Listen to what my life partner has to say, legalize gay marriage."

Plan C: 10 people dressed up as Lion King characters march around him in a circle singing the "Circle of Life" song. Especially good for that first part of the song that's in some African language, that's really fun to sing. If he asks what you're doing just say, "It's the Circle of Life!"

Plan D: Mimes, mimes everywhere, all around him, non-stop trapped in an invisible box.

Plan E: Dress up like Jesus, stand behind him repeatedly rolling you eyes and shaking your head "no", occasionally exclaim, "Wrong!"

Plan E (alt.): Dress up like Satan, prowl around the man nodding, smiling, and laughing deviously while saying, "YES, YES my minion, FILL THEM with your HATE!"