Suicide

[Reforged]

You're right. Human beings are the pinnacle of Darwinian evolution. Consequently we are vicious, hypocritical and self-obsessed.
The species fits the definition of evil. That being said; we're just the guys who came first in the race for dominance. You think my dog actually loves me? I feed him, I water him. I am a resource to him. If I die he is eating my corpse. Every aspect of him has evolved to milk my need for affection dry so that he may survive. Every species is playing the same game ultimately, we're just the best at it. I eat the flesh of pigs, a species more intelligent than dogs, and I feel bad knowing it but you know what? We fucking won. If that species had won it would be doing exactly the same thing. So yeah, we're the best monsters in a world that gives rise to the most ruthless. Its not a point of pride, its not a point of shame, it simply is.

As for suicide, I've thought about that at length. I've considered all the arguments for and against and this is my conclusion; 
If the amount of pain endured exceeds the value and quality of the life lived then its justified.
No human being is so unique that he can't be easily replaced by one of the other billions of slightly different variations of him/her scattered all over the world. Noone is indispensable. Even from purely a genetic standpoint there are many, many people who would share my genome not exactly but close enough that it shouldn't matter. If I could do it then I would. I can't. So the plan is that I'm going to help in as many dangerous situations as I can and if I die then I die. Only instead of my family going "boo-hoo, how could he do this?" they would at least be able to take solace in the fact I died doing a "selfless" thing. The person I was will be gone, replaced by the idea of someone better that never existed. Thats a gift. If I don't die then I've helped others as an unintentional side-effect and I just go in for round 2. Knowing my luck I'd still be around for round 200.
Maybe I could volunteer in cambodia or africa or something? So far every trip to places like that where I risk my neck requires an extortionate amount of money. Which is hilarious. I've been looking for a UK equivalent of the peace corp but got nothing. If anyone knows of places like that then I'm all ears.
Anyway, thats my take on it.

You could always prowl around in the night looking to fight crime. With the level of gun control in the UK, you'd probably last a whole lot longer than somebody doing the same thing in the US.

You silly billy.