Opening up about being mentally ill

[Brakeman]

Lol, I had been in three mental hospitals, tried a dozen medications and went through one suicide attempt at your age, EP.  I'm 36 now.

I know what I'm doing well enough to know I don't need platitudes from teenagers.

You just need to "cheer up" and start thinking positively!  /sarcasm


Seriously, as a step father, uncle, and son-in-law to people battling mental illness I am aware of the scope of the challenge.

There is a continuing day to day fight that consumes most people's energy but there is also a long term fight that seems to get lost completely, in my family at least.

My step daughter and my nephew are in their twenties and very early thirties. and they both have in common a history of commitments. My step-daughter's last episode was so severe at times she could do nothing more than thrash around, incapable of self feeding, walking, or going to the bathroom, yet she just left 5 minutes ago to try to take her driver's license test again and she does so well in her daily battle with a 2 drug combo that no one on the outside knows that there is any issue with her. My nephew just got out of commitment about 3 weeks ago and is still within that early stabilization period, but he's already back in college trying to fit back in.

My issue with their pathway to recovery is their retention of what I term "bipolar" goals. either they are going to be the best artist, actor, musician, or writer, or they are going to be a failure. Nothing in between, no attainable milestones to be used as stepping stones. I am unable to convince their caregivers, my brother and his family or my wife that this desire to be Artistic is toxic to a person battling mental illness. I push that they should instead push for utilitarian goals such as carpentry, masonry, business, auto repair, and the like. These types of goals and lifestyles have daily rewards and success is virtually assured with effort as opposed to the ten thousand to one chance of being a New York Times best selling author.

I wake up every morning just fine with the knowledge that I am not going to be heralded on the big screen or in print, Ever! I am happy to just be a excellent automotive brake design and manufacturing engineer. I am not one to compare myself too much with other brake engineers with the exception that I need to be good enough not to get fired. I am aware that how well I do depends entirely on how much effort I spend at helping my company.

My non-solicited advice is to make sure that you do not hold the bigotry against utilitarian pathways and the people that choose them as my relatives have if this is your case too. I encourage you to find stepping stones to the station in life for which you will honestly accept. My relatives are stuck at the crossroads where the only paths to  acceptable successful lives are ones that are ridiculously long shots and without in-progress rewards and are absolutely littered with suicides, drug abuse, depression, and other mental issues. If you want to see a wasteland of human misery look at the hidden entertainment industry.  They do not choose other "utilitarian" paths because they don't "love" them. They have an unrequited love affair with an imagined career where they are the star. They cannot considered other success pathways that are "beneath" them. They are too talented for the construction industry, too artistic for the manufacturing industry, and too talented a writer for the financial sector. This delusion of grandeur is a bi-polar stumbling block to metal health in my opinion. I contest to my family that the sweet feeling of satisfaction and public acknowledgment of displayed utilitarian skills and effort would go far to relieve the internal anxieties felt by those battling mental illnesses.

I hope you can find your pathway filled with good solid stepping stones.