Gay, Catholic and Doing Fine

[Brian37]

I think what's ignored by Catholics is pretty simple:  They've taught this poor, unfortunate young man that there's something wrong with him.  Of course they see nothing wrong with this, because they see that something is wrong with them.

I remember when I first started experimenting sexually.  My first thoughts were of girls, not boys.  I was absolutely terrified.  I was sure there was something wrong with me.  Because that is what the bible taught.  I spent many guilt-wracked nights thinking that there was something wrong with me, that I was somehow broken.  And this is what the religion teaches people to feel.  The Catholic Church breaks people, and then tries putting them back together, deliberately leaving out pieces that don't conform to their way of life.

A friend of mine was put in reparation therapy 'out of love' by her parents.  For her, it was one of the worst experiences of her life.  She still won't quite talk about it.  All she'll say is the experience was, for her, basically hell.  And that her parents put her through it absolutely broke her. 

People love to say "He chose to be celibate."  If that makes you sleep better, then that's fine I guess.  But he didn't really choose celibacy.  Celibacy was chosen for him.  He was told that wanting to have a relationship with someone that he's attracted to is wrong.  And some Catholics and Christians and Muslims and Jews and whatever else have you apparently lack the empathy to understand how harmful this is.  They justify it with their word salads and their thousand year old books.  He says he's happy being celibate, so that's enough for them.  "It's a struggle, but Catholicism is supposed to be a struggle."  I wonder how many of those same people would choose to be celibate for life for their religion.  And not just SAY it, but actually go through with it.  Talk is easy.  Talk is cheap.  How many would forego sex for their entire lives because their religion told them to? 

It's a little sick that we live in a world where people can comfort themselves with the fact that they can justify denying gay people the right to get married because their god said so, and because one single gay person claims to be happy. They don't care how difficult it is for them;  in fact they justify it.  They say that it's good that it's difficult, because good things are hard.

The church breaks people.  And some of those who are part of that church, our Dear Topic Creator among them, take glee in telling gay people that they are only atheists so they can continue living their lifestyle.  They bash those who don't have the same values of them.  Therein lies the problem with religion.  They expect people to hold their values, and when they don't, they ostracize them, criticize them, and shun them.  And many of them do so gleefully.  They're like the parents of my friend (who are now reformed, and no longer Christian) were.  The well-being of the people they claim to love mattered less than what they wanted them to be.

This Love that is described, isn't love at all.  It's what's truly the perverted version of love. It's easy to say that you love someone when you use this definition of love, because that definition is empty and hallow.  There's nothing to it.  You can love your fellow man, just by saying you do.  That's because despite what they say -- that good things are hard -- they don't like doing things the hard way.  They can't find a way to love someone for who they are, regardless of what they do.  Instead they have to judge them, and often misjudge them.  What a terrible version of love that is.  Then again, I wonder if they can be blamed.  They were taught to believe these things.  That what the old testament describes of God is Love.  And it's not love any more than what they do is love.  And so long as that's their definition of love, they'll never truly have it.

To add to what you just said for anyone reading this. I agree with what you said, but let me add:


Hetrosexuals also take risks with sex too, so to chose celibacy for religious reasons, is fucking stupid. If you have a heavy libido male or female, all the religious reasons will do at best, is act as a sugar pill, a distraction, but even then it is still a denial of self. The sexual preference isn't what causes someone do risk take, heterosexual teen couples and young adults have hormones too. 

The only reasons not to have sex are STDs and unwanted pregnancies and financial, but that applies to even married couples. And there still when you do have sex, gay or straight, safe ways to have sex by use of condom and that included condom with anal and oral too, not just vaginal.

It is not love to tell someone they are broken because of a belief one might hold. That isn't helping them, that is asking them to deny themselves to placate your own insecurities.